


100 Days of Destiel Drabbles

by destieldrabblesdaily



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Various Destiel Drabbles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-18
Updated: 2015-11-12
Packaged: 2018-04-10 00:34:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 100
Words: 46,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4370339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/destieldrabblesdaily/pseuds/destieldrabblesdaily
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A short, fluffy Destiel drabble every day, for the next 100 days.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Day 1

Dean and Castiel are hanging on the couch, enjoying one of those rare uneventful nights at the bunker. They’re watching TV, or to be more specific; a movie that includes a  _talking dog_. Dean absolutely  _loathes_  it, but he puts up with it because Cas insisted on watching it. Cas has a  _horrible_  taste in movies.

Castiel asks Dean to pass on the chips, and Dean complies right away. It’s not the kind of chips Dean likes anyway; they’re way too spicy for Dean’s liking, and whenever Dean tries to eat one he feels like his insides are on fire. But Cas loves them, and so Dean buys them whenever he goes to the grocery store. Cas has a  _horrible_  taste in snacks.

Dean gets a bright smile from Cas when he passes him the bag of chips, and Dean notices that Castiel is wearing that hideous blue-and-green striped sweater again. It’s the kind of sweater that makes a person want to stab out their eyes, but it’s Cas’ favorite, and Dean doesn’t have the heart to tell him how ugly it is. Cas has a  _horrible_  taste in clothing.

Halfway through the movie, Cas slides closer to Dean, snuggles into Dean’s side, and starts peppering sweet little kisses up and down Dean’s neck. Dean can’t help but smile. In Dean’s opinion, Cas also has a horrible taste in  _boyfriends_. But Dean is grateful for that, and every day he thanks his lucky stars that Cas wants to be with him of all people.


	2. Day 2

“Do you ever miss it, Cas? Being an angel?”

Dean makes the question sound casual, but he genuinely wants to hear the answer.

Cas gives him one of his signature half-smiles as he reaches for Dean’s hand and intertwines their fingers.

“Some things I miss… Others not so much…” He replies, his wide blue eyes showing that he has given it some real thought.

These are the things Dean likes best about being with Cas; when they can just talk and be honest to each other, because there is no longer something standing between the two of them. They’re both lying on Dean’s comfortable memory foam bed, on top of the covers, facing each other, one of Castiel’s hands firmly holding on to Dean’s, the other hand mindlessly playing with the collar of Dean’s old faded shirt.

“What do you miss most then?” Dean asks softly. “Only if you want to talk about it…” One of his hands gently strokes through Cas’ hair while he questions him.

Cas just smiles. He’s always willing to tell Dean everything nowadays, because the importance of being honest with one another is the most important lesson the two of them have recently learned.

“Hmm…” Castiel hums, contemplating. “Probably not flying, because I am right where I want to be most of the time.”

“With me.” Dean says proudly, smiling at Castiel.

“With you.” Cas repeats solemnly, warming Dean to the very core.

“So… what  _do_ you miss, Cas?”

“Before we… Before  _us_ , I would have said hearing your prayers, Dean.” Cas muses. “But as it is, I don’t spend much time apart from you period, which makes it easier…”

Dean laughs softly. “Is there anything you even miss at all?”

Cas appears to be lost in thought for a while, but eventually nods, his fingers still fumbling with the fabric of Dean’s shirt.

“I miss… seeing souls. Or to be more specific, I miss seeing  _your soul_.” Castiel is so intense when he says it, and Dean feels a lump forming in his throat.

Dean does what he always does in situations like this one… He tries to ease the seriousness with a joke.

“You miss seeing my soul? That messed up old thing?” He says mockingly, smirking at Cas.

But Cas sees right through Dean. He always does. And he tells Dean all the things that he doesn’t and at the same time  _does_ want to hear.

“They say the eyes are the window to the soul, Dean… In your case, that is very much true. Your soul is the brightest shade of green. A light unlike anything I have ever encountered in my existence as an angel… It shines brighter when you’re happy, and turns darker when you’re down.”

“So you miss it because it was kinda like  _spying_  on my emotions?” Dean accuses lightheartedly, his hand ruffling the soft strands of hair at the back of Cas’ head.

Cas gives him an impressive glare. The sort of glare that says ‘ _if I still had my powers, I would smite you’_.

“I simply miss it because your soul is the most beautiful one I’ve ever seen…” Cas corrects Dean’s statement. “But at least it does console me that it’s still  _there_ , even though I am no longer able to sense it.”

“I’m not so sure about the first part…” Dean says as he stares into the endless blue of his fallen angel’s eyes. “About my soul being the  _prettiest_  one out there.”

“What do you mean?” Cas asks, sounding skeptical, creasing his forehead.

“Well, if eyes  _really_  are the window to the soul, like you just said… It’s not hard to tell who has the better soul out of the two of us.” Dean whispers, moving closer to Cas, so that their foreheads are touching.

“I don’t even know if I  _have_  a soul, Dean… I wasn’t born human.” Cas murmurs back wistfully, his warm breath teasing Dean’s lips.

But Dean shrugs as he kisses Cas’ lips, the lips that are almost as enthralling as Cas’ eyes.

“Who cares, Cas. Even if you don’t have a soul, you’re a better person than most humans I know. I still think your eyes reflect how  _gorgeous_  you are on the inside…”

And yeah, Dean loves their talks, but he has to admit that the lengthy make out session that Cas initiates after Dean’s words…  _That’s_  pretty cool too. 


	3. Day 3

It’s the first of August, 2014. Surreal as it sounds, Dean has been here  _before_. Which is why he is thankful that nothing on this day is even remotely close to how it had been during his little time traveling adventure. He’s thanking his lucky stars that time and space had been altered in a way that didn’t allow this vague vision of the future to become reality.

Still, there are many things that he remembers vividly about that dreaded and involuntary trip. He remembers what the world had become. He remembers his brother’s body, taken over by no one other than the devil himself. Dean remembers what he himself had become, and it still hurts just thinking about it. How he had been willing to sacrifice everything. His friends, his life… Even  _Castiel’s_ life.

He remembers the relief when he’d returned to his own time, met by Castiel. He remembers the words that had been said…

_‘We had an appointment.’_

_‘Don’t ever change…’_

Dean snaps out of it and shifts on the couch as he tries to pay attention to the movie that they are currently watching. Him, Sam and Castiel. Sam is eating chips, his large body draped over the comfortable chair to Dean’s left, his eyes glued to the screen. Castiel is on the couch to Dean’s right, gaze fixed on the screen of the television as well, although he’s frowning heavily. Chances are that he doesn’t have any clue what’s happening, but he’s trying nonetheless. And they are both completely  _oblivious_ , in the dark as to how lucky they are to be here,  _like this_.

And Dean laughs, downright laughs, out loud. Sam and Castiel both turn their heads to give him strange looks, but Dean just shrugs. They focus on the movie again, and on an impulse, Dean reaches out to Castiel, pulling the angel into his side and kissing the top of his head.

Castiel looks up at him, confused.

“What was that for, Dean?” Cas asks in that typical was of his, tilting his head. “You told me last week that we shouldn’t show this kind of affection towards each other in front of your brother.”

And yeah, that is the blunt, straight-to-the-point, sometimes-clueless Cas that Dean  _loves_.

“This…” Dean whispers into Castiel’s hair. “This was for  _never changing_.”


	4. Day 4

Never had Dean particularly liked waking up in the morning. Not so much because he wasn’t a morning person, or because he hated rising early per se. More because it always felt like being violently smacked back right into the middle of reality after being blissfully unconscious for several hours.

Ninety percent of the time, said reality was not very appealing, not in Dean Winchester’s case. Being asleep was the best Dean could hope for, but only on the rare nights that he wasn’t haunted by nightmares of course. Waking up… That had never been something Dean looked forward to.

Dean slowly stirred awake, gradually drifting into consciousness. He felt a lot of warmth, surrounding him like a security blanket, as unmanly as that sounded. The warm body beside Dean shifted, then stilled again.

“Good morning, Dean.” A deep voice whispered into his ear.

Lazily, Dean blinked his eyes open, becoming aware of the strong arms surrounding him. His eyes flickered down to be met with a pair of radiant blue ones.

A small smile crept up Dean’s face. He stretched his neck so that he could press a kiss to Castiel’s nose.

“Morning, Cas.”

Dean decided that nowadays, mornings were pretty freaking awesome. 


	5. Day 5

Castiel felt like he was floating, stuck in that peculiar state between dreaming and waking up. For now, he was fine there. Warm. Comfortable. His sub-consciousness registered that this level of warmth and comfort was nothing like anything he’d felt since he’d become human. It was soothing, and after months of struggling to survive, it was so very  _welcome_.

To his dismay, Castiel could tell that he was slowly waking up. He didn’t want to wake up, childish as that was. He craved the secure feeling that he was currently reveling in. During his short existence as a human, all he had known was  _cold_ , and  _pain_ , and  _loneliness_. Never had he felt this at ease since he’d fallen… He couldn’t pinpoint yet why that was…

He stirred, and then unwillingly blinked, opening his eyes.

When Castiel slowly grasped what was going on, he froze. He was in the front seat of the Impala,  _Dean’s_  Impala. He vaguely recalled falling asleep there, but it was all a bit hazy. The car was no longer moving, everything was quiet, and it was still dark outside. Castiel was momentarily disoriented, however it soon became clear what the source of warmth and comfort was. Castiel had  _literally_  fallen asleep on Dean. His head was resting in Dean’s lap, and Castiel noted that Dean had draped his jacket over him while he’d been asleep.

Castiel panicked, worried that Dean would give him an angry speech about personal space, or lecture him on how it was inappropriate for two males to physically be  _this close_. He shifted, then began to get up, when suddenly he felt a solid hand being pressed between his shoulder blades, stopping him from moving.

“Go back to  _sleep_ , Cas.” Dean’s deep voice made it sound like a mild command.

Castiel glanced up at Dean, and shivered when green eyes were staring right back at him. It was too much, and Castiel quickly averted his gaze.

“But Dean…” Castiel started to protest, voice groggy.

“Shhh…” Dean hushed him. “You need to catch up on some sleep, man… And not on the floor of some storage room.”

When Castiel stopped resisting, Dean’s hand slowly slid from Castiel’s back to the back of Castiel’s neck, where Dean’s fingers gently proceeded to play with the short strands of dark hair.

It was better than anything Castiel had ever felt in both his mortal and immortal life. He sighed contentedly, not giving it too much thought that this was  _Dean Winchester_  who was actually showing him some much needed affection. Castiel curled up into a ball again, his eyes falling closed with a little help from Dean’s tender ministrations.

Castiel heard Dean speak one more time as he dozed off again, his favorite Winchester’s familiar voice lulling him even closer towards sleep.

“'Night, Cas… One day things are gonna be easier for us, buddy…  _I promise_.” 


	6. Day 6

Castiel was no longer blinded, not like he used to be.

No longer blinded by Dean’s soul. That remarkable soul, always shining bright enough to make sure that everything else about the oldest Winchester immediately faded and disappeared to the background.

Because that soul had been the one thing about Dean that had stood out to Castiel back when he’d still been an angel. That soul had been the very reason why he had fallen for Dean, and realized that he loved Dean more than anything else in the universe…

But now that Castiel was human _,_  he was suddenly starting to notice _other_  things about Dean. Whereas Castiel as an angel had always found Dean’s soul to be the most appealing aspect about the hunter, Castiel as a human could tell why Dean was also appealing to simple mortal beings because of his looks.

“What are you staring at, Cas?” Dean asked, the corner of his mouth lifting up into a knowing half-smirk.

The two of them were doing research in the bunker’s library, but instead of concentrating on his books, Castiel had been shamelessly observing Dean.

“Nothing.” Castiel hastily blurted out.

It wasa lie. Ironically, Castiel recalled how Dean had been the one who had first taught him to lie like humans did.

“Hmm, hmm.” Dean mumbled, clearly not buying it, but focusing on his own pile of books again instead of confronting Castiel about that obvious lie.

Castiel peered up at Dean again; It was tempting because Dean was sitting right across from Castiel, and their knees were nearly touching under the table.

Dean was beautiful. Eyes that were the rarest kind of green, cheeks and nose covered in freckles, angular jaw, and prominent cheekbones. Combined with thick dark lashes and plump lips, Dean was the perfect human being. Castiel could finally understand now; why Dean could get whatever girl he wanted. Or whatever boy. Whatever human being…

“I can basically hear that you’re brooding right now, Cas… What are you worrying about, _baby?”_

Dean’s bold question snapped Castiel out of his thoughts, as well as out of his insecurities. Yes, Dean could have whoever he wanted, but it so happened that he  _only_  wanted Castiel.

The last piece of confirmation came in the form of Dean reaching out to take Castiel’s hand in his own, lifting it up to his face to affectionately brush his lips against Castiel’s knuckles.

“I’m sorry, Dean…” Castiel mumbled an apology. “I simply got distracted, research is kind of boring when you have to do it the human way.”

Dean chuckled, nodding in agreement. “Tell me about it. But tell you what… After we’re done going through these books, we’ll do something  _fun_.”

When Dean added a mischievous wink that was meant to let Castiel know exactly what Dean had thought of when he’d used the word ‘fun’, Castiel was a lot more motivated to finish their research.

And Castiel knew that he was blessed. The one person in this world whom he wanted to be with, and who wanted to be with him as well, was exceptionally beautiful on both the inside  _and_ the outside


	7. Day 7

The soft sound of fluttering wings was a very welcome distraction during a long, boring night of doing research in the bunker’s library. Aside from that, the sound of Cas’ return was, as always, an immense relief to Dean.

Paying no mind to the fact that his younger brother was also in the room, Dean all but jumped up from his chair, literally throwing himself into the arms of the blue-eyed angel that had appeared just now.

In the background, Sam cleared his throat and mumbled something about ‘ _going to get a midnight snack’_ , which was code for  _‘I don’t want to witness this sappy reunion between my brother and his angel’_.

Dean hugged Castiel in a bone-crushing manner, nuzzling his face against Cas’ neck.

“I missed you, Cas.” He confessed, his lips barely brushing Castiel’s smooth skin as he spoke.

Cas laughed softly, his hands soothingly massaging Dean’s back as they stood in their embrace. “It looks like you managed to survive without me, Dean. Mind you, it’s only been three days…”

As Dean closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, the typical clean smell of Cas invading his nose, he decided that three days was way too long.

“I know, Cas… It’s not about surviving. It’s just that I…  _I need you_.”

And Dean wanted to  _smack_  himself,  _punish_ himself for once again chickening out of saying what he _truly_ meant _._  It were three stupid words, yet he always changed his mind at the last second, too afraid to say them. Instead, he always ended up using the substitute that he had adopted to use on Cas. ‘ _I need you_ ’. Dean used to think that it was close enough, but he’d started doubting that ever since he and Castiel had officially gotten together.

To Dean it was clear; the words meant the same thing to him. He just wasn’t sure if Cas knew that too.

Dean pulled back a little so that he could look Cas in the eyes for a second, then leaned in again to give the angel a loving, lingering kiss. Dean felt how Castiel’s lips turned up into a smile even as they kissed.

When they broke apart, Dean decided that he needed to man up about this.

“Cas?” He asked while the two of them were still standing in a loose embrace.

Castiel nodded for Dean to carry on.

“When I say I need you, you know that it means…”

Dean hesitated, but Cas smiled warmly. “It means  _you love me_. I’m aware, Dean.” He stated, not even trying to be subtle about it.

And Dean was grateful. Grateful that everything was so easy with Cas. Grateful that even the somewhat complicated things weren’t all that difficult between the two of them.

“Yeah…” Dean mumbled, his eyes never looking away from Castiel’s.

Those bright blue eyes were staring straight into Dean’s soul now, Dean could almost  _sense_ it. And Cas was smiling again, looking at Dean as if Dean were the single most precious thing he’d ever encountered.  

“It’s alright, Dean…” He assured with a light kiss to Dean’s forehead. “ _I need you, too_.” 


	8. Day 8

To Castiel, watching Dean wake up in the morning is like watching the sun rise. Except it  _isn’t_ , not really, because Castiel is convinced that Dean waking up is even more special than anything else going on in the universe. Even from the point of view of a former angel, the sun can’t compare.

By now, Castiel knows that the process starts when Dean’s breathing becomes more shallow and he gradually starts to stir, his closed eyelids fluttering restlessly. This is the very reason Castiel is thankful for being a light sleeper, because even though he’s human now, he rarely ever misses the moment when Dean first opens his bright green eyes in the morning.

Even in the dimly lit room, Castiel can make out the extraordinary tint of emerald that is so specifically  _Dean._ The best part, however, is the moment Dean becomes aware that Castiel is watching him. The moment when he blinks sleepily, then smiles so broadly that it probably makes his cheeks hurt.

Sometimes Castiel can tell that Dean is feeling self-conscious about it; these are the times when Dean’s slurry voice utters halfhearted accusations like  _‘do you get your freak on by watching other people sleep, Cas?’_

Other times, Dean simply allows himself to be happy, thereby allowing Castiel to be happy as well. Those are the times Dean doesn’t joke around. Instead he simply takes Castiel in his arms, pulling him close and not letting him go until the sun  _actually_ starts rising, and far longer than that. 


	9. Day 9

Dean Winchester deems celebrating birthdays dumb and unnecessary. Or no, that’s not entirely true… He only deems celebrating  _his own birthday_  dumb and unnecessary. He doesn’t think the anniversary of his existence actually makes for party-material, and so he’s made sure to not mention his upcoming birthday to his brother, and most definitely not to his nosy angel boyfriend.

Which is why he grumbles something unintelligible when he feels gentle hands waking him up on that dreaded morning. He lets out a very unhappy groan when Cas softly whispers into his ear.

“Dean… Wake up, Dean. It’s your  _birthday._ ”

Of freaking course Castiel would remember the date.

Dean makes sure to sigh theatrically before opening one eye and glaring up at his boyfriend, who is sitting on the edge of their bed. Cas is fully dressed, meaning that he’d probably been out of the bunker already, and it’s then that Dean realizes that the angel has placed something on the nightstand beside them.

It’s a birthday cake, and not a small one either. Bright green frosting spells the words  _‘Happy Birthday Dean’._

Dean buries his head in his hands.

“You’re crazy, Cas. Why the hell make such a big deal out of this?” He huffs, the words muffled against his palms.

Cas doesn’t say anything, but Dean can feel how the angel gently takes his wrists to pry Dean’s hands away from his face.

Blue eyes meet green, and Cas’ closeness makes Dean’s heart skip a beat, maybe two.

“I’m making  _a big deal out of this_ , as you call it, because to me this is the most  _important_  day of the year. You being born is something I want to celebrate, because my own existence wouldn’t be the same without you, and so I’m eternally thankful for  _yours,_ Dean.”

The weight of Dean’s swelling heart is heavy in his chest. Cas’ eyes are so sincere, and Dean is overwhelmed, and even too speechless to reprimand him by telling him something along the lines of  _‘you can’t just stay stuff like that, Cas’_.

Still at a loss for words, Dean decides to settle for  _actions_. He takes Cas into his arms and brushes a kiss against the angel’s hair. Castiel eagerly snuggles against him, and they stay in the embrace for an immeasurable moment.

“Thanks, Cas…” Dean mutters after a while, feeling a bit guilty for complaining at first.

They pull apart, and Cas is smiling at Dean. Dean can’t resist and goes in for a kiss, soft and sweet. When their lips separate, Cas cocks his head at the cake.

“Now are we going to try if it tastes as good as it looks, Mister  _I-refuse-to-celebrate-my-birthday?_ ” The angel teases.

Dean snorts but nods, and his stomach growls as if on cue. “Hell yeah… Guess I can make an exception this year.”


	10. Day 10

Dean stared down at the plate that Cas had handed him, pressing his lips together in a tight line to keep from laughing as he set it down on the kitchen table. This was supposed to be  _breakfast_ , but all Dean saw was a scary mix of burnt bacon and questionable-looking eggs.

“It doesn’t look too bad this time, does it, Dean?” Cas asked, proudly smiling down at him.

Biting his lip, Dean shook his head at the former angel.

“Nah… I think it’s an  _improvement_.” Dean muttered as he recalled the rubbery-tasting waffles that Cas had attempted to make for Dean and Sam last week.

It was a lie, obviously. Cas was a shitty cook, no doubt about it, but Castiel’s smile broadened at Dean’s words. Cas inelegantly let himself fall down on Dean’s lap, so that he could offer Dean a slow, sweet kiss to show him his gratitude.

Dean sighed happily, holding Castiel close as the fallen angel proceeded to cover Dean’s entire face in feather-light kisses.

Oh yeah, lying about breakfast was  _so worth it_. Besides, Dean could live with the fact that his boyfriend was a horrible cook, especially when said boyfriend was such a terrific kisser.


	11. Day 11

As Dean slowly woke up, opening his eyes and in the back of his mind recalling what day it was today, he found himself smiling sleepily.

He knew that he was being weird about this, because technically, it was a day like any other.  _September 18 th_. Dean was not ashamed to admit that it was dumb to get all sentimental because of a date; it was simply  _a number._  And yet, this particular day was important to Dean…

He rolled onto his side, so that he could take a look at the still sleeping figure beside him.

A fallen angel was curled up under the blankets, face buried in his pillow so that Dean could only see the mess that was Castiel’s hair. Dean smiled affectionately. He scooted closer to Cas, nuzzling the nape of Castiel’s neck and kissing him softly where a miniscule strip of skin was exposed.

“Cas?  _Wake up_ …” Dean coaxed, whispering into Castiel’s hair.

The only response coming from the heap of blankets was a grunt that sounded somewhat like Dean’s name.

Dean laughed quietly; Cas as a human was not a happy camper in the mornings.

“Ah, come on,  _baby_.” Dean tried again, adding the pet name to try and persuade Cas. “We shouldn’t sleep  _this_ day away.”

“’s too early, Dean…” The deep sleep-drunk voice protested, muffled against the pillow.

“Hmm, it’s almost  _noon_ , so I wouldn’t say early.” Dean countered, gently poking Castiel in the ribs.

The former angel downright  _groaned_  at that, but he at last gave up on ignoring Dean and shifted so that he was resting on his side, finally allowing Dean to make eye-contact.

“Hey you…” Dean greeted with a smirk.

Castiel rolled his eyes, but his glare faded quickly when Dean reached out and tenderly caressed Cas’ cheek with the back of his fingers.

“You know what day it is today?” Dean asked casually as his hand slid down Cas’ neck and arm, searching for Cas’ hand.

“It’s  _Thursday_ , Dean.” Cas stated matter-of-factly, his blue eyes squinting at Dean in that adorable, confused manner of his.

Dean laughed and shook his head, at the same time finding Castiel’s hand and intertwining their fingers.  _Of course_  Cas wouldn’t know; Dean was just feeling ridiculously melancholic about this, he couldn’t expect Castiel to even  _remember_  that date. But while Dean could understand, he did feel a tiny stab of disappointment.

Dean’s eyes dropped to their joined hands as he tried to hide his dejection. He attempted to free his mind of thoughts about this silly anniversary thing, when he suddenly felt a warm hand being pressed to his cheek.

“Dean, look at me…”

Dean obeyed, his eyes snapping back up to Cas’ face.

“You can’t possibly believe that I would forget about the most important day in my entire existence, can you?” Cas asked, blue eyes earnest and wide. “I was  _teasing_  you, Dean. I know very well what day it is…”

Dean’s heart started beating a little faster at those words, and his lips gradually turned up into a smile. Castiel’s returning smile was as beautiful as the sincerity in his eyes, and Dean was reminded all over again why this was the person he’d chosen to love.

“So… Does this mean that we can do weird couple-y stuff today to celebrate the day we met? Like, I don’t know, go out for dinner or whatever?” Dean joked, trying to lighten the mood a bit.

Cas nodded, his fingers squeezing tighter around Dean’s. “ _Anything you wish_ , Dean.”

Dean smiled in victory, before diving in and kissing Cas right on the lips. There was a small surprised huff from Cas, but soon enough he caught on and enthusiastically returned the gesture of affection, his lips moving in sync with Dean’s.

Castiel pulled Dean even closer, one of Castiel’s hand firmly settling itself on Dean’s shoulder.

The infamous handprint there was long gone, but that didn’t really matter. Castiel had also left an imprint on Dean’s  _heart and soul_ , and to Dean, that was good enough.

Dean felt like his heart was actually going to explode when Cas softly murmured against his lips.

“ _Happy anniversary, Dean…_ ”


	12. Day 12

This was how Dean liked to see Castiel; at ease, comfortable, making himself at home.

Dean had wandered into the bunker’s library looking for Cas, when he’d found the angel-turned-human curled up in one of the more comfortable armchairs there, flipping through the pages of an old book.

Cas’ back was to Dean, and he was too engrossed in whatever he was reading to even notice Dean. Dean discreetly tried to read along over Castiel’s shoulder as he approached the former angel, only to find that the book was written in Enochian.

Dean felt an unexpected pang of guilt. Often, he dreaded moments such as this one. Moments when he was harshly reminded that Cas hadn’t  _always_  been human. When he was reminded that Cas had once been a powerful celestial being, but that the poor guy had lost it all over a stupid emotional pile of meat like Dean…

Despite the guilt, simply watching Cas was no longer enough for Dean, and he planted a kiss on the top of Cas’ head, making his presence known.

“Heya, Cas.” He greeted, sitting down on one of the chair’s arms.

Castiel looked up, surprised, a genuine smile instantly forming on his face at the sound of Dean’s voice.

“Hello, Dean.”

Cas leaned into Dean’s side without hesitating, relaxing as if on cue. Dean rested his chin on top of Castiel’s head, his eyes falling on the faded pages of the book again.

“What are you reading?” Dean asked, his curiosity getting the best of him.

Castiel chuckled softly. “This book I supposed to explain basic knowledge about angels… I find it very entertaining because most of it is utterly inaccurate.”

Dean snorted; his angel had always been a smartass, and at least humanity hadn’t changed  _that_.

“Ah… I should’ve known… But I suppose my Enochian is a bit rusty.” Dean was joking, mainly to hide the fact that it did bother him whenever he was confronted with where Castiel had come from, and how he had left it all behind for Dean…

“You look troubled.” Castiel accused right away when his blue eyes darted up to meet Dean’s green ones.

“I’m not troubled.” Dean shot back dismissively.

“You  _are._ ” Cas bluntly countered. “What’s on your mind, Dean?”

Dean sighed in defeat, because this was another thing that hadn’t changed about Cas; he was still a pro at reading Dean’s mind.

“It’s no big deal, Cas…” Dean mumbled. “I was just wondering… Do you ever think about what you would do if you got a second chance? You know, if you could start over… What if you would’ve known what the consequences were when you first saved me? Or when you chose to stay with me… Losing your family, all your powers,  _everything_ …”

Dean’s voice became all but imperceptible near the end of his confession, and he stubbornly fixed his eyes on his knees, not wanting to look Cas in the eye.

“Dean…” Cas said quietly, placing a hand on the side of Dean’s cheek to get his attention.

Reluctant but unable to refuse, Dean’s eyes shifted to Castiel’s face.

“Do you honestlywant to know what I would’ve done if I’d known beforehand that I would end up here?”

Even though the possible answer frightened Dean, he nodded in confirmation. The tension that Dean felt must have been palpable, but Cas smiled, pretending to be completely unaware.

“You asked for it…” Castiel warned, then stretched his neck to plant a brief, sweet kiss on Dean’s lips.

The kiss was a surprise, but Dean didn’t dare to interrupt Cas just as he was about to answer.

“If I could go back and know what I know now… I would do it all over again,  _just the same_.” Cas stated solemnly, no traces of doubt in his wide blue eyes. “I’d do it all over again if it meant that I got to be with  _you_ … So please stop being ridiculous, Dean.”

As soon as the words were out, Castiel wrapped his arms securely around Dean’s waist, pulling Dean into his lap. Dean’s heart fluttered happily.

And no, Dean didn’t want to be selfish. It had never been his plan to steal an angel from the sky… But if the angel wanted to be with him  _by choice…_  Then maybe it wasn’t really a crime after all.

When Castiel demanded another kiss, the few disturbing thoughts left were immediately erased from Dean’s worried mind.


	13. Day 13

Dean doesn’t like it, being in an argument with Cas. Any argument. Whatever it is about, Dean always  _hates_  when they are fighting. Like they are  _right now_ …

They’re sharing Dean’s bed as per usual, but they’re both facing a different wall, their backs stubbornly turned towards each other. Cas’ breathing is shallow and uneven; a sign that Castiel is probably still awake, brooding, just like Dean. It doesn’t feel right, going to sleep while being angry with the person you love most. Besides, their argument was  _stupid_ , now that Dean rethinks it.

Castiel had merely been worried about Dean after a ghost hunt had nearly gone wrong. He had yelled at Dean for being reckless, and had lectured Dean on how he needed to be more careful unless he wanted to get himself killed…

Which is how they had ended up here.

Dean sighs. He hates taking the first step, but he wants to make up more than anything.

“Cas?” He whispers into the dark.

No reaction. Dean decides to try again.

“Look, Cas… I know I was being…” He pauses to look for the right words.

“ _Reckless_  and  _irresponsible_? And  _rude_ on top of that when I called you out on it?” Cas unexpectedly cuts in, taking Dean by surprise.

Dean’s suspicions are confirmed; Cas is still wide awake. And Dean knows this can go two ways…

Option one; Dean disagrees with Castiel’s fairly blunt choice of words, and a whole new argument will start. Or option two; Dean admits -as he knows deep down- that Cas is  _right_  in this case, so that they can both forget about this stupid fight, and so that Dean can actually snuggle with his boyfriend after a terrible day.

Seeing as Dean is exhausted, he chooses the latter. He’s the first one to turn over, swallowing his pride and scooting closer to Cas so that he can spoon the fallen angel from behind. He feels Castiel tense under his touch.

“Yeah… That about sums it up, Cas…” He murmurs in Cas’ ear. “I’m an idiot, and I’m  _sorry_. You were worried with good reason and I shouldn’t have been a dick about it… Forgive me?”

And just like that, Dean feels how Cas relaxes in his embrace.

“Are you going to be more careful from now on?” Cas questions earnestly, although his tone already sounds a bit lighter than before.

“I swear that I’ll try my best.”  Dean answers truthfully, one hand carefully stroking through Cas’ hair.

“Good.” Cas says, for the first time turning his head to actually look at Dean. “Because I refuse to  _lose you._ ”

Even in the dimly lit room, Dean can tell that the look in Cas’ expressive blue eyes is more concerned than angry. But yeah, he can sort of understand where Cas is coming from; he doesn’t want to lose Cas either.

“You won’t lose me, I promise.” Dean vows as his arms tighten around Castiel.

When Cas gives Dean a tiny nod, Dean knows that the argument if probably over. And when Castiel’s lips begin to search for Dean’s as if on instinct, Dean is sure that their fight has officially come to an end.

So perhaps Dean doesn’t like arguments, but he sure as hell loves  _making up._


	14. Day 14

“Alright… I’ll see you tomorrow then, Cas.” Dean spoke ever so slowly, almost as if he was trying tobuy time.

“Yes, tomorrow.” Castiel agreed in the same hesitant tone, prolonging the moment, wanting to avoid the inevitable.

Castiel wasn’t sure how they always ended up here; In Dean’s Impala, Dean dropping Castiel off after school, just like he picked Cas up every morning, and the both of them equally reluctant to say goodbye. In Castiel’s opinion it was utterly irrational.

Obviously, the two of them were best friends, but there was no reason to be  _this sad_  to see the other go. They had several classes together, they always ate lunch together, and most nights they were texting each other until midnight. Not to mention that Dean would be back to pick Castiel up bright and early the next morning for a new day of school.

Missing someone with whom you were spending  _that_  much time nearly every day, was quite frankly insane.

Castiel swallowed thickly as green eyes regarded him, gazing up through long lashes. There was a static-like tension in the air, something that Castiel didn’t recognize. There was a warmth that had nothing to do with the car’s heater. Instead of getting out of Dean’s car like he was supposed to, Castiel studied Dean’s freckled face some more.

He knew that face by heart, could probably draw a very accurate map of all those freckles… And yet he could never get enough of looking at it.

“Pretty sure this is my least favorite part of the day.” Dean commented all of the sudden, breaking the silence when Castiel had least expected it.

Although Castiel wholeheartedly agreed, he was surprised that Dean had actually  _said_  it. The words had hung between them for so long now, but neither of them had ever dared to voice them out loud. It was simply there; that unspoken longing between the two of them.

“I don’t particularly like it either.” Castiel admitted in a whisper, casting his eyes down at his confession.

Another long silence followed.

“Hey Cas?”

Castiel’s head shot up at the sound of Dean cautiously saying his name.

Dean was far closer than Castiel had anticipated, and he gasped quietly when he found that Dean was right up in his personal space. When Dean fearlessly pressed his plump lips against Castiel’s slightly chapped ones, Castiel’s eyes abruptly fluttered closed. As their lips gently moved together, Castiel could feel one of Dean’s hands supporting the back of his neck.

Castiel had no idea how long the kiss lasted, but they were both a bit out of breath by the time they broke apart. Dean’s emerald eyes stared at Castiel in wonder. Castiel was fairly certain that he had to have a similar expression himself. Dean had just given him something that, up until now, Castiel hadn’t even known he  _needed_ from Dean.

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” Dean said again, his tone significantly more cheerful this time around.

And Castiel could feel it too; it was as if that empty feeling that he usually felt when saying goodbye to Dean was completely erased by the taste of Dean’s lips, combined with the promise of ‘tomorrow’.

“Yes,  _tomorrow_.” Castiel said, smiling at Dean one last time before he opened the door and got out of the car, feeling lighter now.

Castiel didn’t look back, but he could hear Dean drive off as he walked up the porch steps.

It was a good ten minutes later when Castiel’s phone buzzed, signaling that he had a new text message. Sure enough, it was Dean’s name popping up on the screen.

_‘are you my boyfriend now?’_

Castiel chuckled and shook his head in disbelief as he texted back.

_‘Only if you are mine.’_


	15. Day 15

“Seriously, Cas! What are you,  _insane_? You almost got yourself  _killed_ today!” Dean hadn’t meant to raise his voice like this, but somewhere during their argument, it had happened anyway.

Castiel dangerously narrowed his icy blue eyes at Dean. “No Dean,  _you_  could have gotten yourself killed!” He retorted, matching Dean’s loud tone.

“That’s not the point! Jumping in front of that werewolf was reckless and stupid!” Dean barked. “You’re not an angel anymore, Cas! You have to be more careful!”

“As if I don’t know that! And for your information, I was only trying to  _protect_   _you!_ ” Cas all but yelled, his face red with anger.

The two of them frostily glared at each other for a moment. Dean was well aware that the motel’s parking lot was not the best place to have an argument such as this one, but he was beyond caring. Sam had quickly excused himself once the outburst had started, mumbling something about ‘booking their rooms’ before he had swiftly disappeared inside.

“You know what, it’s not your job to protect me!” Dean sneered. “Your job is to look after _yourself_  and make sure that you survive! If you’re gonna pull stunts like this, I swear to God that this will be your first and last hunt!”

Dean felt instant remorse at his own cruel words, but he needed to get his point across. He’d been  _terrified_  when Cas had nearly gotten himself killed due to a reckless attempt to save Dean. It had been so close, and if Sam hadn’t stepped in just in time… Dean couldn’t even stand finishing that thought. Losing Cas was not an option,  _ever_. And if Dean had to use some very harsh words to get through to Castiel, he would do just that.

“Of course… As always, the noble Dean Winchester with no sense of self-preservation will jump at any chance to play the hero and possibly get himself killed in the process, because he believes that his own life has no value whatsoever!” Castiel bit out, taking a large step towards Dean, right into his personal space.

Dean flinched, because Castiel’s remark hit home, even though it was the last thing Dean wanted to hear.  _Stupid Cas_. Stupid Cas who knew Dean way too well. Stupid Cas who always managed to get right under his skin. Stupid Cas who made Dean feel all sorts of things that he didn’t  _want_  to feel.

“I _hate you_!” Dean exclaimed, furiously glaring at Castiel.

He regretted the words right away, didn’t even mean them, but they had spilled out in a rush of anger and frustration.

“Good! Because I  _love you_!” Cas called back without missing a beat.

Dean choked on air. _I love you._  The tiny sentence was still ringing in Dean’s ears. Three small words, and they hit Dean like a ton of bricks, making both his face and his insides glow with something unfamiliar.

“I- You… You  _what_?” Dean sputtered, noting how Castiel’s expression turned milder, a deep blush covering the former angel’s cheeks.

Castiel bit his lip, but tentatively put a hand on Dean’s shoulder. “ _I love you_ , Dean… And the reason I may have been a bit too reckless, is because I can’t stand the idea of you dying. I don’t mind being human, but I don’t want to do it  _without you_.”

Cas’ face was so sincere, all anger gone, his eyes silently pleading with Dean. And all Dean could think of was that he needed Cas to be even  _closer_ , which is why he shamelessly took his friend in his arms, hiding his face in the crook of Cas’ neck, mumbling apologies.

“I’m sorry… It’s just that I’m worried, too… Can’t lose you, Cas.  _I need you_.” Dean whispered against Cas’ skin while Cas’ hands gently rubbed up and down Dean’s back to console him.

Dean’s heart fluttered happily when Cas’ response was a quiet “I know”, followed by the sweet kiss that Castiel planted in Dean’s hair.

It was then and there that Dean decided that from now on, they  _both_  needed to be more careful.


	16. Day 16

“Cas? Tell me what heaven is like.”

The question comes out of nowhere, and takes Castiel by surprise. He smiles down at the human curled up on the couch with him. Dean’s head is resting on the pillow in Castiel’s lap. Castiel’s fingers are absentmindedly playing with Dean’s hair, his fingertips lovingly caressing Dean’s scalp.

Castiel still doesn’t quite understand what humans find so entertaining about watching television for hours in a row, but he’s always interested in spending more time with Dean, and so he doesn’t mind being here in the space that now serves as the bunker’s living room. They do this often; Dean watching TV, while Castiel tries to do the same, but eventually ends up watching Dean instead.

“Cas?” Dean presses, still waiting for an answer.

“Heaven is very complex, Dean. You know that. Your perception of heaven will differ from someone else’s perception.” Castiel says truthfully.

Dean turns away from the TV, looking up at Castiel instead, his brow furrowed. “I know. But I mean… What would it be like for  _me?_ ”

Castiel chuckles, the look of curiosity in Dean’s emerald eyes sending a particular kind of thrill through his entire body.

“You have been to heaven yourself.” Castiel reminds him, his fingertips lightly tracing a path from Dean’s cheek to his jaw.

“Yeah well, that all went very fast and was very stressful.” Dean counters.

“Hmm, I suppose so.” Cas agrees. “But just trust me on this one… Heaven for you, would be  _good_. I’d make sure of it.”

Dean grins, but still looks uncertain. “Good, huh? That’s kind of a vague description. That’s all you’ve got?”

Castiel laughs briefly at the determination that is so typically Dean, but answers him anyway.

“In your heaven you will be  _happy_. You will be content, and you will feel  _loved_ , Dean. like you deserve.” Castiel declares softly, his fingers ever so gently stroking through Dean’s hair again.

All of the sudden Dean’s eyes light up, his face relaxing visibly. “Oh… Well maybe I’ve already died then.” He mumbles, turning his attention to the TV again, making himself even more comfortable in Castiel’s lap, his fingers holding the pillow just a little tighter.

In that moment, Castiel wonders if maybe he  _himself_ has already died as well. Not like it matters… He wouldn’t mind having an eternity of only  _this_.


	17. Day 17

“Really, Cas? I can’t believe that you seriously enjoy that stuff.”

Dean skeptically stared at how his boyfriend was munching on a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, like he had done for the past ten mornings in a row.

“Are my food preferences bothering you?” Cas asked sharply from across the kitchen table, throwing Dean a glare that came off as endearing rather than threatening.

“No, Cas. I just mean… Look at all the great food that the world has to offer, and human-you likes  _that_?” Dean questioned, wrinkling his nose before shoveling some more homemade pancakes into his mouth.

Castiel squinted his eyes at Dean, and Dean shivered as the blue turned a shade colder; sometimes he wondered if Cas could still look inside his soul.

“Have you ever even tried it?” Cas shot back in a challenging tone.

“Yeah, I’ve had plenty of it back when I was five years old. Because it’s  _kiddy food_!” Dean teased, causing the former angel to glare even harder.

Castiel merely huffed, taking another large bite and ignoring Dean’s comment.

Some of the sticky stuff got caught on the corners of Cas’ pretty pink lips, and Dean’s eyes hungrily zoomed in on it.

“What?” Cas demanded grumpily.

In a quick, predatory move, Dean leaned over the table, his lips seeking out the sweet mess at the corners of Cas’ mouth. He suckled on it, and Castiel’s grumpy expression faded soon enough. Cas’ lips instinctively chased after Dean’s, and Dean was happy to give his boyfriend what he wanted.

The kiss deepened, and the taste of jelly and peanut butter exploded on Dean’s tongue. And Dean had to admit that, combined with the taste of  _Cas_ , it was freaking delicious.

When Dean pulled away, Castiel studied him curiously.

“What was that all about, Dean?” He asked, a humorous glint in his eyes, all signs of irritation gone.

“Nothing…” Dean shrugged, then proceeded to dazzle Cas with his most charming grin. “Actually, you win. I was wrong. It tastes like  _heaven_.”


	18. Day 18

Castiel loved humanity. Despite having the habit of bending the rules to the point where he broke them, he had always kept this father’s golden rule in mind; to love his creations, and to care about them. To love all of them equally.  
  
Still, even with this rule, Castiel was a bit of a cheater. He had tried to live by that rule, and for the most part, he had succeeded. The only problem was  _Dean Winchester._  There was humanity, and then there was  _humanity_ …

Dean scooted closer to Castiel in his sleep, a silent whisper of ‘ _Cas_ ’ falling from his lips.   
  
The memory foam mattress that Dean appreciated so much had little effect on Castiel who didn’t need to sleep anyway, but watching Dean dream in peace was something that the angel treasured. He smiled as Dean snuggled closer.  
  
Castiel thought about Dean’s eyes, for now hidden behind closed eyelids, but with a color so unique that it seemed as if they held galaxies within them. His gaze lingered on Dean’s freckles, which reminded Castiel of the stars that painted the milky way. He thought about Dean’s smile, a smile that resembled the rising sun.   
  
Suddenly, Castiel felt less guilty for loving this one human more than any of the others. If God had bothered to create a human  _this_  special, Castiel shouldn’t be to blame for making that one human his exception.   
  
In his sleep, Dean mumbled Castiel’s name again, almost like a prayer. Castiel smiled as he brushed a barely-there kiss against Dean’s forehead.   
  
Castiel loved humanity the way an angel should, but he loved Dean the way a  _human_  could.


	19. Day 19

Dean heard how Cas’ teeth were chattering as the two of them entered the bunker. It had been a simple grocery shopping trip, but it was  _freezing_  outside. And of course the stubborn former angel, who was still not entirely used to being human, had claimed that he didn’t need unnecessary things such as a scarf or a hat.

“I warned you that just a thin coat wasn’t going to be enough.” Dean remarked smugly as they reached the kitchen.

Cas glowered at Dean in his angry I-will-smite-you manner, but didn’t give Dean the satisfaction of admitting out loud that Dean had been right. Not like it mattered to Dean; Cas’ blue lips and bright red ears were proof enough.

Stubborn as ever, Cas didn’t talk to Dean as they put away the groceries. He didn’t speak to Dean as Dean took off his own coat, scarf, and hat. All Dean could hear was the constant rattling of Cas’ teeth.

Even though Dean could tell that Cas was still mildly grumpy, the ex-angel couldn’t resist joining Dean when Dean offered to watch a movie and drink some hot chocolate to warm up.

Castiel sat down on the exact opposite end of the couch, as far away from Dean as possible. Regarldless, Dean could still hear his boyfriend’s teeth chattering, even as they both sipped from their mugs of warm chocolaty goodness. Dean glanced to the side, noting that Cas was shivering.

“Stubborn son of a bitch.” Dean muttered under his breath as he put down his now empty mug.

“What was that?” Castiel asked coolly, turning away from the television to throw Dean another glare.

Dean rolled his eyes, moving to Cas’ side of the couch without saying a word. Cas’ glare gradually smoothed into a confused frown.

“I said you’re  _stubborn as hell_.” Dean said bluntly as he snuggled into Cas’ side, his arms securely wrapping themselves around Cas’ cold body.

Castiel stilled, seeming very determined to remain stubborn and rigid. But Dean wasn’t having any of it, and he softly nuzzled his nose against Cas’ neck, letting his warm breath fan over the sensitive skin there. Cas shivered again, but Dean could tell that it was a  _different_  kind of shiver this time. A  _good_ kind of shiver.

Slowly, Cas’ body melted against Dean’s own. Neither of them spoke for a long time, and they both pretended to watch TV as Dean held Cas tight.

Nearly an hour had passed when Castiel finally mumbled a few words. “ _I’m sorry_ , Dean. You were  _right_. I was being irrational…”

Dean smirked against Castiel’s neck now that Cas had given in at last, and he planted a gentle kiss against Cas’ throat.  _Sweet victory_. 


	20. Day 20

Dean could no longer stand it. Watching Cas  _leave_. To once again watch Cas walk away from him. They’d been here so many times, but Dean knew that it was never going to get less painful. Knew that it would never get easier.   
  
Cas had saved their asses during yet another case, witches this time, and currently they were back at the bunker and about to face the inevitable; another goodbye. Another unnecessary separation.   
  
“Call me if you  _need_ anything, Dean.” Cas said quietly, giving Dean a half-smile that didn’t quite reach his deep blue eyes.   
  
Dean swallowed thickly. Having Cas here in his room felt so  _right_ , but the idea of Cas leaving within now and a couple of minutes felt all kinds of wrong. Never would Dean get used to seeing Cas go, and so tonight, his rebellious heart simply  _refused_  to accept it.   
  
Cas was already turning around, away from Dean, the way he always did once the job was done and the day was saved.   
  
“ _Stay…_  Please.” Dean’s voice sounded broken, even to his own ears, but he didn’t care.   
  
Just like he didn’t care that he was being selfish by wanting something for himself for once. And most of all, he no longer cared that the something he happened to want was  _Cas_.   
  
Castiel froze. His hand had already been on the door handle, but he abruptly turned back towards Dean at the sound of his plea.   
  
“What?” Cas asked disbelievingly, directing his trademark squint at Dean, showing his confusion.   
  
“Stay.” Dean repeated calmly, feeling more confident now that he had made peace with what it was he truly wanted. “Stay here, with me… You said that if I needed  _anything_ , all I had to do was ask, right? Because what I need right now is  _you,_ Cas.”   
  
The look on Cas’ face was made of shock mixed with a small amount of awe, and something else that Dean could only label as  _lightness_.   
  
As they stood there, gazes holding, Dean silently prayed that the official talk about what this all meant could be put off until tomorrow. For now he was exhausted, and all he wanted was to be with Cas.   
  
As always, Cas understood, easily picking up on what Dean wanted. He smiled softly, giving Dean a small nod. Dean exhaled in pure relief, then pulled Cas into his arms for a long hug, burying his face against Cas’ neck, breathing in his angel’s calming scent.   
  
And Castiel? He murmured gentle reassurances in Dean’s ear as his fingers aimlessly stroked through Dean’s hair.

“I’ll stay as long as you’ll have me, Dean… I need you  _too_.”


	21. Day 21

 

The soft fluttering of eyelashes against the bare skin of Castiel’s chest, alerted him that the sleeping human that was curled up against his side was about to wake up. Dean’s breathing became noticeably uneven and less deep, and he incoherently mumbled some words into Castiel’s skin.  
  
“Good morning, Dean.” Castiel smiled to himself as he greeted the sleepy Winchester.   
  
“Morning, Cas…” Dean replied groggily. “It’s morning already?” He grumbled, looking up at Cas with narrowed eyes.   
  
“I’m afraid so.” Castiel confirmed in an apologetic tone.   
  
Dean groaned, making his displeasure known, but otherwise he didn’t talk.  
  
Castiel was used to it. He knew the drill; Dean was not much of a morning person, and he usually needed some time to properly wake up. Castiel always gave him that time, and he knew Dean appreciated it.   
  
Dean’s fingertips were doodling patterns on Castiel’s chest, then moved lower, brushing against Cas’ ribs. Suddenly, those fingertips stilled.   
  
“What’s this, Cas?”  
  
Curious green eyes were peeking up at Castiel as Dean lightly tapped his fingers against Castiel’s tattoo. Castiel’s stomach tightened. He’d hoped Dean wouldn’t notice, but of course he should’ve taken into account how perceptive the oldest Winchester was.

Regardless, Castiel decided to play dumb.  
  
“You know that, Dean. I explained it to you, those are Enochian sigils that will keep other angels from finding me.”   
  
When Dean snorted and threw Castiel his infamous ‘you’re-so-full-of-shit’ look, Castiel knew that he was busted.   
  
“That’s not what I meant, and you know it. Those last two words on the bottom, they weren’t there before.” Dean pointed out relentlessly. “So what are they? What do they mean?”

Castiel sighed, his eyes holding Dean’s.   
  
“Well? No more secrets, ever again. You promised.” Dean reminded him.  
  
The pleading look on Dean’s freckled face provided Castiel with enough strength to confess the truth.  
  
“It’s…. It’s your name. It says  _Dean Winchester_.” Castiel admitted, not sure how Dean would take it.   
  
Dean’s eyes turned wide, his jaw going slack. His gaze briefly flickered to the dark ink that painted Castiel’s skin.   
  
“Please don’t be offended. It’s just that the warding sigils remind me of where I came from and of who I  _was_ … But I also wanted a reminder of who I  _am_ , and of what matters most to me  _now_.”   
  
Castiel held his breath as he waited for Dean to say something, anything.   
  
Dean didn’t disappoint. All he muttered was a quiet “Shit, Cas” before he climbed right on top of Castiel, emerald eyes suddenly bright and awake. Less than a second later, and Dean was kissing Castiel senseless.   
  
If Castiel had known that this would be Dean’s reaction, he would have told Dean about the little addition to his tattoo way,  _way_  earlier…


	22. Day 22

_Old habits die hard._  It was a very true statement, Castiel decided as he teleported into Dean’s room and stared down at a sleeping Dean. The oldest Winchester had fallen asleep on top of the covers of the memory foam bed. His face was pressed into the pillow at an awkward angle, and he was still fully clothed; the aftermath of a difficult hunt, no doubt about it.

Some things would never change, like the fact that Castiel  _loved_  to watch Dean sleep. Dean looked so much younger while asleep, and a lot less troubled than when he was awake. He didn’t look like the entire world rested on his shoulders, and it made Castiel happy to see him like that. Calmer.  _Lighter._

Dean sighed as he rolled onto his back, eyelids fluttering restlessly.

“How many times have we been over this, Cas? Watching me sleep is  _creepy_.” Dean croaked out, his voice thick with sleep.

Castiel smiled as green eyes glared up at him.

Another one of those things that would never change; Dean calling Castiel out on it whenever he caught him in the act.

“I apologize…” Castiel mumbled. “I simply enjoy seeing you at ease.”

When Dean mockingly rolled his eyes, Castiel knew that it had been a wasted apology. 

“Yeah, of course you do, you big sap.” Dean said, reaching out and grabbing the sleeve of Castiel’s coat, gently tugging on it. “Are you gonna join me or are you just gonna stand there all night?”

Castiel smiled, slowly shaking his head in disbelief as he looked down at a ruffled, sleepy Dean, who quite frankly was being a bit bossy at the moment. He shrugged off his coat, then did as Dean asked, like he always did.

Dean snuggled into Castiel’s side the second the angel lowered himself down on the mattress, and the hunter sloppily kissed Castiel on the lips.

Some things would never change, but at the same time, Castiel was grateful that other things  _had changed_  over the past year. Soon enough, Dean dozed off again, hands possessively clinging to the fabric of Cas’ shirt.

“Sleep well, Dean.” Castiel whispered, protectively wrapping his arms around his favorite human.

Dean hummed contentedly in response, and the only thought on Castiel’s mind was how good it felt to actually be  _allowed_ to watch over the man he loved.


	23. Day 23

Dean had never said it, and he’d always been so sure that he  _would_  never say it. At times he allowed himself to  _think_  it. Other times he even allowed himself to subtly  _show_  it to the ones that it was directed at, but he swore he would never say it out loud. Not literally. 

Because saying it would be like casting a curse. Dean Winchester saying those words to anyone, would undoubtedly result in the person in question either dying or leaving. Or so Dean believed. Regardless, accidents happened, and so the first time Dean said those words, it wasn’t planned…

“You’re leaving again, Cas?" 

Dean sullenly looked at his angel, the two of them in the middle of a goodbye. The old motel room where Dean was currently staying did nothing to make the scenario any less depressing.   
  
"I won’t be gone for long, Dean. Just some-”  
  
“Yeah yeah, I get it. Angel business, heaven can’t wait and all that jazz.” Dean cut him off with a sigh, stepping into Castiel’s space. “Just promise you’ll be careful, okay?”  
  
Castiel smiled, reassuringly putting a hand on Dean’s shoulder, long fingers squeezing tenderly. "It’s just a friendly meeting, I’ll be back before you know it.“ He promised, then leaned in to press a brief but meaningful kiss to Dean’s lips.  
  
Dean’s eyes fluttered closed, but the kiss ended way before he could fully begin to enjoy it.  
  
"Please be careful anyway.” He warned despite Cas’ attempt to put his mind at ease. “Most other angels are unpredictable douchebags, you know that."   
  
Castiel rolled his eyes. "I’ll be fine, you look after  _yourself_. Goodbye, Dean.”  
  
“Sure… Bye, Cas.” Dean muttered, his stomach sinking as he watched the angel turn around. “ _I love you._ ”  
  
Cas froze, and Dean immediately realized his mistake, clasping a hand over his mouth, even though it was far too late to control the damage.   
  
“Dean…” Castiel whispered his name, slowly spinning around to look at Dean again.  
  
“I-I mean, I’ll  _miss_ you.” Dean corrected hastily as Castiel’s large blue eyes scrutinized him, looking straight into his very soul.   
  
“Of course.” Castiel said knowingly, a softness to his tone that Dean had never heard before. “I love you too, Dean. I’ll see you soon.”  
  
Before Dean could do as much as protest, there was the rustling of wings, and Cas was gone.  
  
_Well shit._  Dean stared at the exact spot where Castiel had disappeared, and he knew that he was utterly screwed. Because saying it was terrifying, but hearing Cas say it back… That was the most amazing thing ever. Dean would have no other choice but to say it  _again_  as soon as Cas returned. And despite his deepest fears, he decided that he would simply take the risk…


	24. Day 24

_‘Prayer is a sign of faith.’_

That was a very poetic way of putting it, but Dean had always been far from agreeing with that particular phrase. If you would’ve asked Dean a couple of years ago, he would’ve told you that praying was like  _begging_. Dean didn’t like to beg, not ever.

And yet, one thing had been powerful enough to change his mind about it.

On days like today, when he felt tired,  _lonely_. When he was craving company, the company of someone who genuinely cared about him. It usually started with Dean staring at the ceiling of his room while listening to music, and it often ended in a single name falling from his lips without him even realizing, always followed by something that could only be labeled as ‘ _praying_ ’.  

“Cas… Have you got your ears on? I’ve had a rough day, man. And I think Sammy’s mad at me… You know, the usual, crappy hunt. I was only trying to save him, but he took it the wrong way. Disappeared into his room when we got back to the bunker and won’t utter a word to me. I know he’ll come around, he always does… But I just need you here, so if you have five minutes to spare-”

The soft rustling of wings cut off the prayer. Dean could feel Cas’ eyes on him before actually seeing the angel whom he knew so well. He felt the bed dip, knowing that Cas was quietly joining him like he often did.

Times like these, Dean was reminded why he always made sure to keep one half of the bed empty.

He turned on his side, finding that Castiel was right there, mirroring him. Cas’ hand reached for one of Dean’s, smoothly intertwining their fingers. Blue eyes provided comfort and safety.

They didn’t talk; Cas being here was enough, and they both were aware of that. When Castiel gently kissed Dean’s knuckles, Dean could smile again, all memories of a bad day washing away at once.

To some, prayer was a sign of  _faith_. To others, it felt like  _begging_. But to Dean… It had become a sign of  _love_.


	25. Day 25

On his way to get some morning coffee, Castiel is somewhat baffled as his ears register a sound that unmistakably comes from the bunker’s kitchen. It’s the sound of  _singing_.  _Dean’s_ singing.

It’s not like Castiel has never heard Dean sing; Dean often sings along with the radio when they’re in the car together, and he frequently sings in the shower or while doing the dishes. The remarkable thing is that whenever Dean sings in Castiel’s presence, it’s always awfully  _loud_  and  _off-key_. Nothing like the warm, velvety tones that are echoing down the halls right now.

Castiel reaches the kitchen and hesitates in the doorway, afraid that Dean will stop singing if he interrupts. It’s a song Castiel doesn’t quite recognize, but he figures it’s classic rock.

The sight before him is one to behold; Dean’s making breakfast, still in his sweatpants and the shirt that he’s slept in. There’s some flour in his untamed hair, and he’s flipping over pancakes while singing his heart out. A pleasant shiver runs up Castiel’s spine as he listens to what Dean’s been keeping from him, and he smiles fondly.

When Dean makes a sudden turn he spots Castiel, then nearly drops the plate that he’d just picked up. He immediately falls silent.

“Dammit, Cas! You can’t sneak up on people like that!” He chastises, his face turning scarlet, green eyes bewildered. “You were still sleeping, thought I’d make you breakfast…”

“And you were going to make me miss out on your little private concert? As your partner shouldn’t I have gotten  _VIP tickets_?” Castiel asks, teasingly lifting an eyebrow at Dean as he walks up to him. “You’ve never told me that you can actually sing.”

“Because I  _can’t_  sing.” Dean huffs, looking embarrassed but all the same welcoming the hug that Castiel initiates.

Castiel lightly rests his chin on Dean’s shoulder. Their chests are pressed together and Dean’s arms instinctively find their way around Castiel’s waist.

“I beg to differ. You have been  _misleading_  me all this time.” Castiel hums in his ear. “But if you sing  _some more_ , I will forgive you for that.” He offers, chastely kissing the side of Dean’s neck.

Castiel fully expects Dean to protest or simply refuse, and so he’s sincerely surprised when instead, Dean holds him just a little tighter and inhales deeply, then softly starts singing right into Castiel’s ear. The song is slower than the one he’d been singing before, and Castiel thinks he even recognizes the chorus. There’s a weak feeling in his stomach as he listens to the words.

_‘And you can tell everybody, this is your song. It may be quite simple but, now that it’s done… I hope you don’t mind, I hope you don’t mind, that I put down in words… How wonderful life is, now you’re in the world…’_

It’s a mystery to Castiel how they end up slow dancing in the middle of the kitchen, or what he’s ever done to deserve all of this. All he knows as he buries his face against Dean shoulder to hide the tears of joy that are threatening to spill out, is that he has  _never_  felt happier in his long existence. The nasty smell of burnt pancakes in the background is a small price to pay…


	26. Day 26

Dean had never been a big fan of dreaming. Not because it were bad dreams that he was having, but because most of them were  _too good_  to be true. On a regular basis, his dreams had included  _Cas_. Had included Dean’s  _feelings_  for Cas, no matter how hard he had tried to push those particular emotions away whenever he was awake. The worst part however, had always been waking up to the disappointment of an empty bed.

Which is why nowadays, he had to pinch himself every morning when he first opened his eyes, to make sure that all of it was real; Castiel safe in his arms, snoring quietly. Human Cas had never been an early riser, and chances were that he never would be, but Dean was okay with that. It gave him an excuse to shamelessly watch Castiel, like Castiel had often done to him back when he was still an angel.

This morning was no different. Dean smiled down at the sleeping fallen angel, gently brushing Cas’ hair away from his forehead. Castiel’s back was pressed firmly to Dean’s chest, their legs messily tangled together.

Cas mumbled something unintelligible. Dean cracked a smile as dark lashes fluttered against Cas’ cheekbones, revealing that he was about to open his eyes.

“Morning, baby.” Dean whispered, encouraging Cas to wake up.

There was a tired groan from his angel, but not much later brilliant blue eyes were staring back at Dean.

“Hello, Dean.” Castiel greeted back in a slurry voice, trying to hold in a yawn.

Dean chuckled softly; he would never get sick of hearing Cas say those two words every morning, nor would he ever get tired of seeing Castiel all ruffled and sleepy.

“Don’t ever change, Cas.” He murmured before leaning in to steal his first kiss of the day, which Castiel happily allowed.

Dean  _still_  wasn’t a big fan of dreaming, but these days, the only reason behind it was that he knew for a fact that his dreams would never be able to beat the awesomeness of  _reality_.


	27. Day 27

Dean was  _mesmerized_.

By the way Cas pursed his lips when he was trying to concentrate on something. The way Cas’ eyebrows knitted together as he studied the dusty book that Sam had instructed him to check out. The way Cas’ teeth gently worried his full bottom lip every so often. The way Cas sometimes absentmindedly ran a hand through his hair while he was reading. The stunning blue eyes that every now and then peeked at Dean from across the table, and the small blush that would inevitably blossom on Cas’ cheeks whenever their gazes met. The way Cas-

“Dean! Dude, are you even  _listening_  to me?” Sam’s voice made Dean flinch in the middle of that thought, and he guiltily turned to his younger brother who was sitting right beside him.

“Sorry.” Dean muttered an apology. “You were saying?”

Sam sighed exaggeratedly. “I was talking about the case, but naturally, you didn’t hear a word of it because you are too busy ogling your  _boyfriend_ over there!”

“B-boyfriend?!” Dean choked on the word, then spat it out as if it was something poisonous.  

Castiel’s face turned an even deeper shade of red, but he wisely stayed out of the brothers’ bickering.

“Yes, Dean. You are in a  _relationship_  with Cas, who is a male, which makes him your _boyfriend_.” Sam pointed out bluntly.

Dean let out a loud groan, because there was that word again,  _boyfriend_. Sam was obviously doing it on purpose, to punish Dean for not paying attention to their research.

“Do we really have to label it like that?” Dean reflexively snapped at his brother.

Sam shrugged nonchalantly, a wicked grin on his face. “Not necessarily. See you could always propose to him, which would make him your  _fiancé_ instead. Or when the two of you actually get married, he’ll be your  _husband_.”

Dean could feel his ears turn red. He hated Sam. Boyfriend was a stupid word. Husband was even worse. But then he caught Cas’ wide blue eyes, staring at him with a certain concern, and he melted on the spot. With a sigh, Dean reached across the table to take Cas’ hand. Cas smiled at him, pleasantly surprised by the unexpected gesture.

“At least my boyfriend is  _smart_ , _sweet_ , and  _good-looking_.” Dean bragged defensively as he curled his fingers around Castiel’s.

Sam snorted, but held up his hands in surrender. “Fair enough… Now could you two  _lovebirds_  please get your asses back to work?”

Dean winced at the word ‘lovebirds’, but when he saw how it made Cas smile, he couldn’t find it in him to be annoyed by it. He still loathed the word boyfriend, but if they were going to use that term anyway… Well, his boyfriend was without a doubt the cutest. 


	28. Day 28

_BOOM!_

Dean flinched, his ears ringing as the unmistakable sound of an explosion echoed through the bunker’s dungeon. An explosion that was one hundred percent  _Dean’s fault_ , there was no point in sugarcoating it.

So yeah, maybe he should’ve listened when Cas told him that it was absolutely necessary to _not_  add the eye of a snake before the potion turned a deep shade of purple. And perhaps Dean had been a little too eager to finish aforementioned potion; the sooner they were done, the sooner they could finally get rid of that nasty witch that they’d been chasing for weeks now. Nonetheless, he shouldn’t have ignored Cas’ comment.

Speaking of Cas; the smoke was starting to clear, and Dean was forced to face a very angry angel. He shivered, knowing Castiel well enough to immediately recognize his ‘ _I will smite you_ ’ look.

They were both covered in black goo, some of it sticking to Cas’ nose and cheeks. Castiel’s hair looked like a bird’s nest, even more so than usual, and Dean assumed that he wasn’t looking much better himself.

“I’m… I’m sorry?” Dean sheepishly offered while Cas continued to glare daggers at him.

“I would hope so.” Castiel replied briskly, his expression more exasperated than angry now. “We wasted two hours, all thanks to your impatience.”

Dean pensively chewed his bottom lip as blue eyes narrowed accusatively at him; he didn’t like it when his boyfriend was pissed at him, and he was desperate to lighten the mood.

“Are we sure that it was my impatience?” Dean asked, feigning innocence as he looked up at Cas from under his lashes, hoping that it would have the desired effect. “I like to think that it was our  _awesome chemistry_  that blew up the place, you gotta admit that things are kinda magical whenever we’re together, right  _baby_? I mean, sparks were literally flying when I first met you.”

Castiel sighed, but his face relaxed a little, his eyes turning lighter. “Honestly, Dean? You are going to play that card?”

“Is it working?” Dean shot back cheekily, already sensing that Cas’ foul mood was shifting into something more pleasant.

There was a defeated groan from Castiel as he ran a hand through the mess that was his hair. “You, Dean Winchester, are  _insufferable_.”

Dean said nothing, simply smirked, then reached out to wipe some of the black substance off of Cas’ cheek with his thumb. Cas leaned into Dean’s touch and closed his eyes, no hesitation. That was a great opportunity that Dean wouldn’t want to miss, and as he gently stroked Cas’ cheek, he also brushed a lingering kiss to his angel’s lips.

When he pulled back, blue eyes flew open, and Cas was smiling. Mission accomplished.

Dean grinned back at him. “So… Are you still mad at me?”

Castiel rolled his eyes as he pulled Dean into his arms, then kissed the tip of Dean’s nose. “Yes, Dean. I’m  _furious_.”


	29. Day 29

“When did you first know, Dean? That you  _love me,_  I mean?”

Cas’ question hangs heavy in the air as it cuts through the calming noise of the Impala’s engine.

The question takes Dean by surprise, but even though he’s never one to initiate talks about emotions,after this rather rough hunt he doesn’t want to deny Cas a heart-to-heart. He doesn’t have to ponder the question either; the answer has always been clear to him.

“When I knew? That time you saved me after your dick brother Zachariah sent me to the year 2014.” Dean says, his eyes briefly straying from the road so that he can take a look at the curious blue-eyed angel sitting in the passenger seat. “But when I finally admitted it to myself… That was in purgatory, when I was terrified that you were gone, then even more terrified when I thought I wouldn’t be able to bring you home.”

Dean catches Cas’ smile just before he has to turn back to focus on the road again.

“So… When did  _you_  know then?” Dean asks, his own curiosity piqued.

Castiel’s response comes instantly. “When I first saw your soul, then raised you from perdition.”

The impact of that answer makes Dean’s hands clench around the steering wheel. They have never discussed this before, and Dean tries to cover up with a joke how much he is affected by Castiel’s confession.

“Hmm… Guess you believe in that whole ‘love at first sight’ crap, huh Cas?”

Castiel doesn’t laugh at Dean’s shitty attempt at lightening the mood, nor does he go against it. Instead, Dean feels how Cas’ hand reaches for Dean’s right hand, gently freeing it from the steering wheel and lacing their fingers together. Dean sneakily smiles down at their joined hands that are resting in-between them now.

“No, Dean. Actually, I don’t particularly believe in love at first sight.” Castiel suddenly offers a delayed reply, scooting closer to Dean and curling up against his side. “But I do believe in  _us_ …” 


	30. Day 30

Dean smiled as he took in the scenery. The smile came naturally, without any effort. In a way, he had been here before, but at the same time it was very much different this time around.

He was sitting on a small wooden dock, fishing. It was something he enjoyed doing, but hadn’t done in ages for obvious reasons. He remembered the last time he’d done this, back when it had been a dream. Nearly every small detail was the same; the slight breeze in the air, the sun reflected in the water of a deserted lake.

Still, there were some significant differences, and Dean was eternally grateful for them. This time, the lake was a place that Dean knew by heart; it was the lake that was only a ten minute walk from the bunker.

“I can see that you’re brooding, Dean. What’s on your mind?”

Dean’s smile grew wider as he felt how Cas moved closer to him. The angel snuggled into Dean’s side without a word. There were no chairs, just the two of them sitting on rough wood, their feet dangling off the edge of the dock, their toes an inch from touching the chilly water.

“Not brooding.” Dean disagreed as he peered down into the brightest blue eyes to ever exist. “Just wondering why the hell it took me so long to get  _here_.”

Castiel chuckled softly, wrapping his arms around Dean’s waist, his gaze fixed on the smooth surface of the lake.

“If I remember correctly, you have been  _here_ before, Dean.” Cas stated, clearly remembering their encounter that had taken place in Dean’s dream all those years ago.

“Yeah… but no with you. I mean sure, I was with you, but not  _with you_.” Dean muttered before wrapping his free arm around Castiel’s shoulders and pulling him closer, kissing the angel’s cheek. “It took me way too long to figure this shit out. Wasted a lot of time, you know…”

Castiel seemed entirely unaffected by the thing that worried Dean most. He gave Dean one of his reserved but genuine smiles, his blue eyes shining as the wind played with the dark hair that refused to ever be tamed. It was enough to take away all of Dean’s doubts within a matter of seconds.

“It doesn’t matter  _how long_  it took you to get here, Dean.” Castiel whispered, placing the smallest of kisses against Dean’s jaw. “What matters is that  _you made it_.”

As Dean held Castiel closer, he knew that his angel was right, like he was often known to be. They had  _both_ made it, and that was all that counted. 


	31. Day 31

Castiel’s laugh, soft and modest, was ringing through the motel room like a melody. To Dean, it was the same as unexpectedly hearing your favorite song on the radio. That laugh was like a recipe for instant happiness. Therefore, Dean was eternally grateful that this particular sound was gradually becoming less and less rare now that Cas was human.

“I think I actually enjoy this movie, Dean.” Cas informed him, his eyes still crinkling due to his laughter.

Dean chuckled, feeling giddy. To him, it often felt like Cas’ joy was contagious, like some sort of drug, but without the unpleasant side-effects.

“That’s awesome.” Dean muttered, scooting a bit closer to Castiel, reveling in the warmth that Cas’ body offered him.

They were both lounging on the bed that wasn’t too uncomfortable for a motel bed, propped up against the headboard as they watched a movie on the outdated TV. Initially they’d planned to drive back to the bunker after a job well done, but with it being a ten hour drive and the both of them being pretty exhausted, they’d decided against driving all night.

Castiel’s eyes were on the screen again, but Dean could no longer pay that much attention to the movie. He was studying Castiel, drinking in a sight that was far more interesting than whatever the TV had to offer.

It came as no surprise to Dean that Cas caught him in the act of staring, just like he would’ve back when he was still an angel. Castiel tilted his head and smiled at Dean, then leaned in to lightly kiss Dean’s nose.

“You’re  _beautiful_.” Castiel said fondly,  _randomly,_  his tone laced with a sincerity that made Dean’s heart stutter.

Easy as that, Castiel’s focus shifted back to the movie. The countless moving frames were reflected in Cas’ remarkable blue eyes, and Cas grinned once again. Dean however, was momentarily dazed. He was suddenly aware of how often this happened. Cas  _praising_  him, casually, as if it was no big deal. Cas telling Dean that Dean was  _beautiful_ , and  _perfect_ , and that Dean was his hero.

Dean’s blood turned cold when he was out of the blue slapped in the face by the fact that it was something Dean almost  _never_  said about Cas. Or _to_ Cas. Not out loud. He often thought about how much he loved his now human angel, and not a day went by without Dean marveling at Cas’ beauty. But he never said it  _out loud._  He rarely shared his feelings with Castiel, because let’s face it, that wasn’t exactly Dean’s style.

And he felt  _bad_  about it all of the sudden. He wondered if Cas even knew, or if he was simply sticking with Dean because Dean was all he had. There was a sudden need to rectify this situation, and without thinking it through any further, Dean  _acted_  on it.

It began with a soft kiss to Cas’ bare skin, right where Cas’ shoulder met the delicate curve of his neck. Dean’s lips lovingly grazed that pretty neck, and Castiel hummed quietly, but his eyes didn’t stray from the television. Dean’s mouth continued to travel across the smooth, tanned skin, until he reached the mild stubble that covered Cas’ jaw.

“ _Beautiful_.” Dean murmured against Cas’ jawline. “I’m one lucky son of a bitch, aren’t I? I get to be with heaven’s prettiest angel.”

Now  _that_  caught Cas’ attention, and his eyes dropped from the television to regard Dean, but he appeared to be more confused than flattered.

“Are you sure you’re feeling alright, Dean?” He asked, one of his hands hesitantly finding Dean’s hair, soothingly stroking it.

 _Great._  Now Dean hated himself even more. Cas was genuinely taken aback, hearing those words of affection from Dean, which was another indicator that Dean had  _failed._  Failed at showing Castiel the love that he deserved, all day,  _every day_.

“Yeah, I’m good…” Dean mumbled.

He deliberated, unsure whether he should explain to Cas what was on his mind. But then he figured that it would only make things  _awkward,_  and that was not at all the atmosphere that Dean needed to set this right.

And so he kept his mouth shut, so that he could kiss Cas again. This time, Dean’s lips were teasing the tender skin right beside Cas’ ear. Once more, a happy noise escaped Cas’ lips, but his eyes remained puzzled. Dean was even more determined now to change that, and he kissed a path down Castiel’s throat, not pausing until he reached Cas’ pulse point. He gently sucked on it, erupting a low whimper from Cas.

“You keep saying  _I’m beautiful_ , but did you ever stop to think about how stunning  _you_ are?” Dean breathed hotly against the sweet-smelling skin that was calming Dean thanks to its uniqueness.

Cas’ breathing hitched, and when Dean rested a hand over Cas’ chest, he could feel how his angel’s heart was hammering under Dean’s palm.  _Good._  Dean’s lips formed a smirk against Cas’ neck, and he noted how Cas’ hands loosely held on to his sides.

He planted a kiss on Cas’ chin, on both his cheeks, then on his nose. When Dean slightly pulled back, blue eyes curiously peeked up at him. Dean said nothing, but proceeded. He tenderly brushed Cas’ wild dark hair away from his forehead, placing a kiss against Cas’ furrowed brow, then pressing another one to his temple.

“You’re perfect… You’re everything I need, yet you never ask for anything in return.” Dean murmured, his fingers mindlessly playing with Cas’ hair as he showered Cas’ face in more kisses. “You gave up everything for me, Cas… And I’ll  _never_  be able to repay you.”

Despite Castiel’s eyes showing a mixture of awe and bewilderment, Dean couldn’t be stopped. He had to say it, had to get out the words that Cas so deserved to hear. Both of Dean’s hands found Castiel’s, and he intertwined his fingers with Cas’, pressing their joined hands into the mattress as Dean’s lips explored every inch of exposed skin on Cas that they could track down.

“I love you…” Dean whispered against Castiel’s collarbone. “For everything you’ve done for me… For looking after Sammy whenever I can’t. For becoming  _human_  for me. For being everything that I need, without me having to ask. For being… For being  _you_.”

Dean moved up and kissed Cas’ shoulder, bare because he was wearing one of Dean’s old shirts, meaning that it was way too big on the former angel.

“Dean…” Castiel moaned softly.

“Shhh.” Dean cooed but kept going, no longer feeling any shame for sharing his deepest thoughts as he whispered them against the side of Cas’ neck. “I love your eyes. I’ve dreamed about them, you know. Even  _before_  we got together. I love the way you smile, and I love it even more when you  _laugh_ , when your nose scrunches up and your eyes go all crinkly.”

It was so much easier to whisper it against Cas’ skin. It was easier when Dean didn’t have to look straight into those mesmerizing blue eyes. But Dean being Dean, he was unable to stop himself from touching the fire, even if it meant burning himself. He lifted his head, blue eyes holding his green ones.

“I love you, Cas.” He said again, his voice breaking. “You’re a miracle, and you shouldn’t ever think that I’m taking you for granted.”

It was a heavy confession, but Castiel simply  _smiled_ , that smile that could make all of the wrong in this world instantly turn right.

“I know, Dean.” Castiel assured him, his arms wrapping themselves around Dean’s body in a safe embrace. “I wouldn’t be with you if I wasn’t sure that you felt that way, even though I must admit that it is truly flattering to hear you  _say it_  for a change.”

Tears were an inch from spilling from Dean’s eyes as they stayed there, on that old motel bed, their bodies slotted together.

It was comfortably quiet for a while, until Cas spoke.

“You made me miss the entire first half of the movie though.” The ex-angel playfully accused. “Just when I at last found a movie with jokes that I actually  _understood_.”

Dean swallowed his tears and laughed without effort, because as per usual, Cas was everything he wanted, and knew exactly what Dean needed, all the time. Even if the thing Dean needed was a simple change of subject.

“Yeah… But it’s okay, baby.” Dean responded, his voice lighter. “I already have  _other plans_ for the second half anyway, I’ll make up for it.”

Castiel didn’t object as Dean crawled fully on top of him, bringing their lips together. Dean smiled into the kiss, already preparing his next mission that would ensure that Castiel felt loved. The movie that played on in the background was long forgotten.


	32. Day 32

“Dean? Do you think I’m  _strange_?”

Dean looked up from his algebra homework, taken aback by the question that seemed totally random. His best friend Castiel was staring right at him with those intense blue eyes that looked entirely too wise for a sixteen year old. They were both lounging on Castiel’s bed, for once actually getting some school work done.

“What kind of a question is that?” Dean asked, closing his notebook and sitting a little straighter, letting his friend know that he had Dean’s full attention.

Castiel was chewing his bottom lip, something he only did when something was bothering him.

“Come on, Cas. You can tell me… You brought it up, so you gotta speak now.” Dean pushed, gently nudging Cas’ knee with his own.

They were sitting across from each other, Indian style, books in the middle.

“I don’t know…” Cas mumbled, averting his eyes and staring a hole in his Chemistry book. “It has been brought to my attention that a lot of people at our school seem to think so.”

Dean took a moment to consider that, his gaze never straying from his best friend, even though Castiel was purposely not looking back at him.

There was the ugly blue sweater that was way too big on Cas. The dorky glasses that he needed while reading because he was allergic to contacts. The untamed hair that never stayed in place, no matter how hard Cas tried.

There was Castiel’s crazy fascination with bees. Or the fact that Cas would rather stay in and watch a movie or talk all night, than go out and get drunk.

Castiel was nothing like anyone at Lawrence High, that much Dean was sure of. But strange was not at all the word that suited Cas. Strange made it sound  _negative_. Cas wasn’t strange. He was  _unique_ , which was the reason Dean loved him, in many ways.

“Wanna know what I think, Cas?” Dean said, lightly tapping his index finger against Castiel’s chin to get him to look up.

“I suppose I do, that’s why I asked.” Cas replied in his often-used matter-of-fact tone, their eyes connecting again.

Dean chuckled, because this right here,  _all of it_ , was why he adored Cas.

“I think that whoever says you’re weird, is blind _._ ” Dean offered, lovingly grazing Cas’ cheek with the back of his hand, watching a beautiful blush form where his fingers traced Cas’ skin. “You’re perfect…  _Don’t ever change_.”


	33. Day 33

Castiel had never quite understood what it meant when Dean said ‘ _I need you’_.

His favorite human had used that phrase on him many times, but it was always hard to make sense of it. Castiel had given several meanings to those three words over the past years…

_I need your powers because they can fix my problems. I need you to be part of my family, since I already have so little left. I need you to be my friend, because everyone else is gone, and you’re my last option._

Which is why Castiel had  _never_  said those infamous words back, because they’d always felt empty and hollow.

But when looking at their current situation, Castiel could at last see the difference. The world wasn’t ending. There were no emergencies. Sam was alive and safe; all three of them were.

Dean had prayed to Castiel, and the second that Castiel had showed up at the bunker, Dean had pressed him up against the nearest wall, frantically attacking him with tender kisses.

Right now, Dean was tugging at Castiel’s sleeve to lead him to his room, looking at Castiel with pleading green eyes.

“Please, Cas…  _I need you.”_

The words left nothing to the imagination this time. The words were not about some current crisis that was going on. They were about the two of them, and nothing else.

Castiel nodded almost imperceptibly, letting Dean lead him, and at last feeling like he could say what he’d wanted to say for so long now without any misunderstandings.

“As you wish, Dean _. I need you_   _too_.”


	34. Day 34

Dean whistles a tune as he flips over the pancakes. At the bunker’s tiny kitchen table, Sam is reading the newspaper while he waits for Dean to serve a breakfast that smells very promising, in Dean’s humble opinion at least.

The one still missing is Castiel; Dean hadn’t had the heart to wake him this morning, simply because the fallen angel had looked so peaceful, still fast asleep in the bed that he and Dean were sharing nowadays.

The oldest Winchester is entirely focused on his pancakes, and so it takes him by surprise when two strong arms suddenly wrap around his waist, so that he’s firmly hugged from behind. He stretches his neck to glance over his shoulder, and finds that a pair of azure eyes are staring at him. Speak of the devil. Or well,  _angel,_  actually.

Castiel smiles at him, wasting no time and pressing his mouth to Dean’s with a certain determination.

Dean feels the blood rush to his face; they have an unspoken rule to not do this in front of Sammy, but Cas seems to ignore that today. Nonetheless, Dean kisses him back, briefly running a hand through Cas’ mushed hair in a natural act of tenderness.

When Cas pulls back, Dean blinks at him, feeling a bit dazed.

“What was that for, huh?” He asks as he sees Sam hide a smirk from the corner of his eye.

Castiel shrugs in a way that is so very  _human_. “Just because. It’s a  _reminder._ ”

“A reminder of what, Cas?” Dean’s hands are still loosely resting on Castiel’s hips, and he curiously quirks an eyebrow.

“That I love you… And that I’m happy waking up in the morning just knowing that you’re here.” Cas declares without a hint of shame, pressing another kiss to Dean’s cheek before darting off and joining Sam at the table.

Dean is speechless as he watches how Cas and Sam launch into a casual conversation about something that Sam had read in the paper just now. He feels too warm and fuzzy inside to be questioning Cas’ random display of affection.

Not even the sudden smell of food burning can ruin Dean’s mood. Those pancakes are perfectly replaceable, Cas isn’t. 

 


	35. Day 35

Dean hadn’t given it much thought when Castiel had asked him if he could borrow some comfortable clothes to sleep in. It didn’t take a genius to understand that the angel-to-human downgrade was difficult enough to begin with for Cas, and so Dean had immediately given the fallen angel his permission. Besides, Dean saw no harm in Cas temporarily using his clothes until they got a chance to shop and get him his own wardrobe.

What Dean  _hadn’t_  counted on, was what it did to him when Cas wandered into the bunker’s kitchen the next morning, wearing Dean’s old sweatpants and one of Dean’s faded t-shirts. The now human angel yawned, stretching shamelessly so that a small strip of bare stomach was exposed.

Dean nearly choked on his coffee when he was confronted with the sight. Sam, who was sitting across from Dean at the kitchen table, looked up as well. The younger Winchester raised an eyebrow, then shrugged, his attention going right back to the newspaper that he’d been reading.

“Morning, Cas.” Sam greeted casually.

“Good morning, Sam.” Castiel replied, running a hand through his untamed hair in a very human way. “And Dean.” He added, smiling at Dean.

Dean realized that he was still ogling his best friend, and he nodded at Cas, hoping that it could pass as a greeting. Castiel went straight for the coffee machine, and Dean now noticed that he was barefoot as well.  _Shit_ , he was adorable.

When Dean managed to drag his gaze away from Cas, he noted how Sam knowingly watched him from behind the paper, smirking. 

“It’s not what it looks like.” Dean hissed at his brother. “He just borrowed some of my clothes to sleep in.”

Sam pulled what Dean recognized as the  _whatever-you-say_  face,  but a smile was still playing around Sam’s lips when he continued to read.

Dean glared at his brother, but his annoyance was soon forgotten when Cas sat down right beside Dean, hands folded around a mug of coffee. Cas glanced at Dean with an almost-smile, blue eyes soft. Their legs were touching under the table, nice, and warm, and comforting.

Castiel playfully nudged Dean’s elbow with his own, and Dean’s stomach did a little flip.

Dean could already tell that having human Cas around was going to be a real challenge for his self-control. Part of Dean didn’t mind all that much… 


	36. Day 36

“Fine!  _I’m sorry_ , Dean!”

Dean grimaced. Cas was practically yelling the words at him.

But those words were stupid, and unnecessary. Because yes, the angel had said those exact words to Dean many times before, at moments when Castiel  _had_  in fact been at fault. But not this time. No one was to blame, the both of them were merely irritable after an unsuccessful hunt.

And yeah, maybe Dean was a tad annoyed because Cas had put saving Dean above smiting the demons that they’d been tracking for days. Nonetheless, their argument was pointless. Cas had done what he thought was the right thing, and Dean was starting to sense a pattern there; the right thing according to Castiel always had something to do with Dean’s safety.

The staring contest that they were having in the middle of the smelly motel room made goose bumps raise on Dean’s skin. Those blue eyes looked even more intimidating when Cas was angry. After a long minute had passed, Dean gave in with a sigh. He didn’t want to fight with his best friend, and the last thing he wanted was for Cas to fly off again before the two of them had talked it out.

“Sorry for what, huh?” Dean cracked a small smile at Castiel, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck.

It was Dean’s subtle way of saying  _‘okay, maybe I was an insufferable dick and gave you a hard time for no reason at all’._

Castiel however, was deadly serious yet unfazed when he answered Dean’s question, looking Dean straight in the eye. “I’m sorry for being  _in love_  with you… You were right, it gets in the way of my judgment at times, especially when we are working together.”

Dean had trouble breathing as he let Castiel’s confession sink in. Cas never took his eyes away from Dean’s, but the blue seemed to turn a shade lighter, the look in them softening.

There hadn’t been a lot of situations in which Dean Winchester had selfishly wanted to do the right thing for  _himself,_ but god, in this moment, he wanted to.

Dean’s hands were trembling as he reached for Castiel. His knees were shaking as he stepped forward, then cautiously initiated a hug. His fear vanished the second Cas’ arms welcomed him.  

“I’m sorry, Cas.” Dean whispered against Castiel’s shoulder, feeling how the angel’s grip on him tightened. “It’s not just you who feels that way, you know…”

He swore he could hear the smile in Cas’ voice when Cas whispered back  _“Sorry for what?”_


	37. Day 37

Sometimes, Dean is scared. Afraid that he will never be enough to measure up. Terrified that he can’t possibly compare to all of the otherworldly things that Cas has admired throughout his long existence. Because honestly, how is an ordinary human supposed to compete with the stars, the moon, the  _universe_ even? What human is worth giving up the ability to fly, or to heal, or to time travel?

But then there is Cas, looking at Dean from across the table, blue eyes shining as if Dean has personally hung the moon and painted every star in the sky.

This celestial being could have chosen whatever path he’d wanted to follow, and yet here the angel is, human now, at a cheap diner with Dean where the two of them are enjoying their greasy cheeseburgers after a long hunt.

“I can tell that you’re brooding, Dean.” Castiel remarks as he puts down his burger, a mild frown on his forehead.

Dean considers responding with a childish ‘no I’m not’ but immediately changes his mind. Cas can read him like a book, so he’d be fooling himself rather than Cas.

Castiel says nothing but reaches out to Dean, resting his hand on top of the table, palm up in invitation. A couple of weeks ago, Dean would’ve looked around to make sure that no one was watching them. Right now, he willingly puts his hand in Cas’, their palms pressing together snugly.

Patient as always when it comes to Dean, Cas waits for him to talk. Eventually, Dean does.

“Sometimes I can’t help but wonder, man… You stayed here, with me. All the things you gave up and sacrificed, all for me…  _Why me_?”

Dean averts his gaze, letting it rest on the ketchup bottle so that he doesn’t have to look Cas in the eye. Cas being Cas, Dean immediately regrets being this honest, because he already suspects that the fallen angel will give him a deep explanation, using all kinds of poetic metaphors that Dean doesn’t deserve and won’t be able to comprehend anyway.

But he gets none of that. What he does get, is in fact way  _better_.

Cas’ hand squeezes Dean’s, coaxing him to look up. Dean complies, and is confronted with his favorite shade of blue. Cas is smiling. His eyes hold no regrets, not even the tiniest hint of sadness. It’s enough to reassure Dean that Castiel’s next words are sincere, and he finally accepts that he shouldn’t question them any longer.

“Because  _I love you_ , Dean.”


	38. Day 38

They were slow dancing, their flushed cheeks pressed together, Dean’s arms wrapped around Castiel’s neck, and Castiel’s hands resting on Dean’s hips. It felt good, just right. Castiel was fairly sure that he was forgiven, even though he and Jo had planned this surprise party at the Roadhouse behind Dean’s back.

“So… Are you sure that you aren’t  _mad_ at me, Dean?” Castiel asked just in case, lips skimming Dean’s ear as he spoke.

“Hmm… Do I look mad to you?” Dean replied, sounding amused as the both of them lazily swayed to the music.

It was getting late, and most of the other guests at the birthday party had either gone home, or were having drinks at the bar while quietly talking. Castiel didn’t mind; he loved it when the two of them were allowed to be in their own little bubble.

“Not really…” Castiel agreed as they kept moving around the makeshift dancefloor. “It’s just that I know how much you loathe surprises, but you don’t turn thirty every day, and we wanted to do something specialfor you _._ ”

Dean chuckled, his thumb lovingly brushing against the dark hair at the nape of Castiel’s neck.

“I’m not complaining, baby.” Dean breathed against Castiel’s temple. “Although I gotta admit… Right now, I want you to take me home so that we can move on to  _even better things_.”

Castiel had to laugh, because that was so typically Dean. “I’m not opposed to that.”

“Good…” Dean whispered into Castiel’s ear.

The song that they’d been dancing to came to an end, but they kept moving anyway.

“One more dance before we go home?” Castiel requested as a new song started playing, now leaning back so that his eyes could find Dean’s.

Dean said nothing, but he nodded, eyes all but glowing, lighting up the dim room.

Castiel sighed contentedly, snuggling closer to Dean again, burying his face against Dean’s shoulder as they continued to sway.

“Thank you…  _Happy birthday_ , Dean.”


	39. Day 39

Dean didn’t know how to tell Sam. In fact, he’d been breaking his head over this for two weeks now. Ever since Cas and Dean had at last shared that long awaited first kiss, Dean had been brooding, thinking of ways to break the news to his younger brother. How on earth was he supposed to go about this?

_‘Heya Sammy… I may or may not be attracted to dudes. More like one specific dude. A dude who happens to be an angel. And also my best friend. And we’re sort of dating.’_

Yeah, no. Absolutely not.

Dean tried to dismiss the thought as he shifted closer to Cas on the bed, then placed his pillow in Cas’ lap so that he could rest his head there. They were supposed to be doing research, but Dean had gotten bored, and was quite frankly feeling tired. Here, in the safety of Dean’s room, being close to Cas was heaven. Better than heaven, even.

Castiel was still reading, flipping through the pages of one of the many books that they were supposed to go through. Cas’ back was resting against the headboard, and he was humming an unknown tune, not at all seeming surprised when Dean invaded his personal space.

Dean’s eyelids were already drooping, and he felt how a hand soothingly began to rub up and down his back, lulling him to sleep.

~

When Dean woke up, it was to the sound of hushed voices. A conversation was being held in whispers. He firmly kept his eyes shut, because he recognized those voices. One belonged to Cas, and the other voice unmistakably belonged to  _Sammy_. Dean froze, afraid to do so much as breathe.  _Busted._  He tried not to panic as he listened in on the talk between his brother and the angel.

“So I don’t know, man. Maybe we’re reading way too much into this, it might as well be a witch causing trouble…” It was Sam talking in a low voice.

“Perhaps you’re right, I can’t find anything else that even remotely makes sense. It would either have to be a witch, or a very creative demon.” The reply was murmured by Cas.

Dean couldn’t believe his ears. They were talking about…  _The case?_  It was then that he also became aware that Cas’ hand was casually playing with his hair. Dean’s eyes flew open, and he tilted his head, to find that both Sam and Castiel were staring down at him.

“Morning, sunshine.” Sam greeted dryly, pulling a face and shaking his head in disapproval. “I have to say that I’m sort of disappointed in you, Dean…”

Dean’s face grew red as he clumsily got up, seeing from the corner of his eye that Cas was very calm despite this awkward situation. As Dean was making up a million different excuses in his head that could explain why he had practically been  _snuggling_  with Cas, Sam’s lips twitched up into a smirk.

“I mean, really? Sleeping while your  _boyfriend_ does all the work?” Sam accused, then winked at Cas. “Totally _rude_!” 


	40. Day 40

“Ah, hell no, Cas! A documentary about penguins?!” Dean protested as he reached for the remote. “We’re definitely not watching this.”

“Are you sure of that?” Castiel was quick to respond as he snatched the remote out of Dean’s reach with a smug grin. “Because to me it looks like  _we are_.”

Dean shot a glare at Cas, who was sitting on the other end of their shabby couch, cocky smirk still in place as big blue eyes challenged Dean to take him on. Cas was such a cheater, because Dean just knew that he was using those big blues on purpose to throw Dean off balance. Sometimes, Castiel was too adorable for his own good. And no, Dean did not just refer to his best friend as adorable. He hastily tried to erase that thought from his brain.

They’d been roommates and close friends for two years now, and even though they got along really well, their different tastes when it came to television sometimes turned into mild arguments.

“Don’t make me come over there,  _angel_.” Dean threatened, raising his eyebrows at Cas and holding up a hand, urging him to give the remote back.

He’d used the nickname for a reason; Castiel would blush furiously whenever Dean called him that. If Cas wasn’t playing fair, Dean refused to play by the rules as well.

Cas bit his lip to hold in a laugh, blood rushing to his cheeks as predicted, but he determinedly shook his head. “So that you can watch that horrendous show with the doctor wearing the cowboy boots? I’d rather not, Dean.”

The way in which Cas was all-too-innocently looking up at Dean through dark lashes, was a sign as to how  _evil_  Castiel actually was. There was a silence as they held a stare off. In the background, a female voice coming from the television enthusiastically listed some facts about penguins in their natural habitat.

“That’s it!” Dean declared before throwing himself on top of Castiel.

Castiel let out a sound that definitely qualified as a squeal, and Dean tried to grab Cas’ wrists as he attempted to keep the remote far away from Dean. They wrestled, Dean all but straddling his best friend, and probably feeling a bit more excited about that than he should.

In a sudden movement, Castiel poked Dean in the ribs, and Dean not-so-elegantly fell off of the couch with a yelp. He made sure to drag Cas with him though, and it was Cas sitting on top of him now, a look of victory in those expressive blue eyes as he tauntingly waved the remote high above Dean’s head. Dean glared, but neither of them spoke. There was only the sound of labored breathing, and Dean felt his heart trying to burst out of his chest at the idea of Cas pinning him down and straddling his hips. But it was  _still_  a competition, and Dean wanted to win this round.

He saw an opportunity and took it, using Castiel’s own trick against him, poking Cas in the ribs, both sides at once. Castiel yelped as he collapsed, crashing right into Dean’s chest with a disgruntled huff. The warm weight of Castiel covered Dean’s entire body now, making Dean’s mouth turn dry.

“That was very unfair.” Castiel grumbled a complaint into Dean’s shirt before slowly lifting his chin and peeking up at Dean.

Castiel’s hair was all over the place, a dark mess that Dean so desperately wanted to run his hands through. Their faces were ridiculously close, and Dean’s eyes had a mind of their own. They zoomed in on Cas’ lips, pink, and soft, and just  _begging_  to be kissed. He knew that his focus should be on the current location of the remote, but this was the sweetest form of temptation, and Dean couldn’t fight it any longer.

Dean’s right hand found the back of Cas’ neck, and he gently pulled his friend down until their lips could brush for the first time. Cas looked surprised when he pulled back again, but he soon got with the program, eyes darkening before he went in for a second kiss, this one deeper, Dean’s hands finding their way into Castiel’s hair as their lips moved together.

In the hours that followed, neither of them cared about the remote. No television was watched that night.


	41. Day 41

“Son of a bitch!” Dean cursed, his frustration causing him to forcefully slam his hand against the steering wheel.

 _Just his luck_. His precious car hardly ever let him down, but of course the one time it  _did_ happen, it had to be in the middle of freaking nowhere. It was dark outside, and rain was violently pounding against the Impala’s windshield. In the distance, Dean could hear the thunder roll by. He shivered involuntarily; it was starting to get colder, and his damp clothes weren’t helping the situation. Good thing that he at least wasn’t easily spooked.

After the engine had spontaneously turned off, Dean had taken a brief look under the hood, but without the necessary tools and proper lighting, there was no way that he could fix this on the spot. His plan B had been calling Sammy to pick him up; surely at least one of the many vehicles in the bunker’s garage had to be working. But bad luck usually came in threes, so naturally, the battery of Dean’s phone had died ages ago.

He rested his forehead against the steering wheel as he tried to come up with a Plan C. It was still a two hour drive back to the bunker, at the very least, so walking was a big no. Of course there was always another solution…

 _No._  Dean wasn’t going to do it, not this time. He refused to pray to Cas. He wasn’t going to bother his best friend with his insignificant human problems yet again. Dean already felt guilty for calling on Castiel whenever something was wrong, and he had promised himself that he would work on that.

Besides, he was tired of making the angel feel like he only had a right to come around whenever Dean needed him to fix a mess. The next time he prayed to Castiel, he wanted it to be for a  _fun_  reason, as lame as that sounded. A reason such as catching up over a couple of beers, or going out to eat burgers together. To  _talk_ , preferably about something not work related. Something simple. Like  _friends_  did.

In the darkness of his car, the rain hiding him from the rest of the world, Dean allowed himself to snort as he thought the word ‘friends’. Dean wanted Cas to be a bit more than just his friend, he’d figured that out a while ago.

He suddenly found himself wishing that Cas was with him. Not even to fix his car, but because he hadn’t seen the angel in three weeks and was  _missing_  him. He wouldn’t even mind sitting here all night and waiting for the sun to rise and the rain to stop, if Cas were here with him to keep him company.

But Dean kept his promise to himself, he was  _not_  going to pray. A loud crash of thunder startled him, and he shifted in his seat. He sighed as he stared out the window, into the nothing.

“Dean?”

At first, Dean thought he was imagining it. It was nothing but a whisper, the familiar voice so much softer and more gentle than it usually was. He slowly turned his head, almost afraid to look, bracing himself for disappointment.

It never came, because sitting in the passenger seat was Castiel, scrutinizing Dean’s face with a worried frown.

“Cas?” He blurted out, confused by the angel’s presence. “How did you… I didn’t… I mean, I didn’t  _pray_ to you.”

Cas’ features relaxed infinitesimally, but his eyes were still weary as he offered the explanation that Dean had asked for. “When I’m attuned to someone, it doesn’t take a formal prayer. I can pick up on something much more subtle, such as… as a  _longing_.”

Dean gaped at Cas while his brain took that information, turned it around several times, then came to a terrifyingconclusion. Out of the blue, Dean was confronted with flashbacks about all the times he’d thought about the angel. All the times he’d been missing him, all the moments he’d wanted him to be near, all the dreams he’d had about Cas.

There were no words that Dean could think of to say. Trust Cas to not share that vitally important piece of information with him sooner. All he wanted right now was for a black hole to suck him in and make him disappear, because this was beyond embarrassing. He lowered his head in shame, no longer able to look at Castiel.

Immediately, a warm palm was pressed to Dean’s cheek. The sudden touch made Dean’s eyes dart up. Cas was smiling at him, something he hardly ever did.

“I know what you’re thinking, Dean.” He murmured, his hand not leaving Dean’s face right away. “But it’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

“The hell it isn’t.” Dean countered gruffly. “All this time you could feel me pining after you like some kind of freaking schoolgirl, and you didn’t bother to fill me in on that?!”

Castiel sighed, dropping his hand. Dean instantly missed the warmth and comfort of the angel’s touch.

“What good would it have done? You can’t control your feelings, you wouldn’t have been able to stop me from picking up on them, even if you were aware of me being able to sense them.” Cas clarified patiently. “When we’re apart, I feel this constant longing that comes from you… You might have been able to lessen it, had you been in the know, but you couldn’t have kept it from me in the end.”

Dean awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck as he considered that, but didn’t look away from Cas this time. And yeah, okay, maybe the angel had a point there. Thoughts could be controlled to a certain extent, but dreams and emotions? Not so much.

A heavy silence was hanging between them, and Dean used it to gather his thoughts.

“And you’re… You’re  _okay_ with that?” He asked the angel after what felt like an eternity.

Again Castiel smiled, and Dean was sure he had to be breaking some kind of personal record tonight. “Why would I  _not_  be okay with it, Dean? I feel it too… I even told you once, that much of the time I’d rather be here. When I said  _here_ , I meant  _with you_.”

Blue eyes were soft and vulnerable, as if willingly offering all of their secrets to Dean. As if for once, Cas was letting Dean look inside  _his_  mind, for a change. It helped Dean to finally understand his own longing, because it was reflected right there in the angel’s eyes. It was not just Dean, and a weight fell off of Dean’s shoulders.

“So, now that I’m here, what is it you need?” Castiel asked after giving Dean a moment, patient as always. “I think you needed me to help you get home?”

Dean was suddenly aware of how they’d both leaned in throughout their conversation. Castiel was up in his personal space like never before, his breath on Dean’s lips, but Dean didn’t care.

“Actually, Cas… There’s  _something else_  I need more.”

The kiss that followed was hungry, and a bit uncoordinated perhaps, because it was way overdue. Dean liked to show, not tell.

And he felt whole in a way, the longing that had been going on for years now quenched at last. Dean had a feeling that things were going to be a bit easier for the two of them from here on. Judging by the happy sounds that Cas was making in the back of his throat as Dean deepened the kiss, his angel fully agreed. 


	42. Day 42

Castiel was sitting in the middle of the bed, cross-legged, staring at the wall. Even though he had his own room now, it was going to take some getting used to; living in the bunker with the Winchesters. But it was a blessing still, having a safe haven to stay when suddenly becoming mortal,  _human_.

Sadly, with the blessing came a curse, the curse being the deafening silence inside of Castiel’s head. Whereas he used to hear the prayers and thoughts of both his siblings and the humans who needed his assistance, everything was disturbingly  _quiet_  now. So quiet and empty that it sometimes terrified him.

There was one voice he missed in particular. The voice that belonged to the man who had prayed to him countless times, and the presence he’d always felt even when said man hadn’t formally been praying. He missed the feeling of Dean missing  _him_. He missed the feeling of Dean wanting him near.

Before, he could easily sense it. Right now, Castiel felt lost.

The door opened with a crack, and Dean poked his head around it.

“Hey there, Cas.” He said, coming in without waiting for an invitation and sitting down beside Castiel on the bed.

So maybe Castiel had failed to mention a little detail. This wasn’t  _his_ room, strictly speaking. It was the room that he and Dean now shared.

Dean gathered Castiel in his arms, and Castiel curled up in the warm embrace.

Being human was hard, but when Dean softly started kissing a line along Castiel’s jaw, it seemed simpler all of the sudden.

With the curse came a blessing; Castiel could no longer feel Dean’s prayers or his longing, but ever since he’d become human, Dean was finally learning to  _show_  it to him instead.


	43. Day 43

“I don’t think the son of a bitch is gonna show.” Dean muttered, fingers absentmindedly playing with his flashlight.

Castiel had to agree with his best friend. “I’m afraid you’re right. We should’ve seen something by now…”

They’d been sitting in the dark room for hours, on a dusty old couch, waiting for the ghost that supposedly haunted the place to make an appearance. Three teenagers had disappeared near the old mansion over the past months, and Dean thought it would be a case worth checking out.

“We’re gonna stick around for another hour, and then we’re out of here.” Dean decided.

Castiel would be lying if he said he minded; alone time with Dean was his favorite thing. They were sitting rather close, and they’d been chatting about everything and nothing over the past hours. Dean had even laughed at Castiel’s jokes, even though Castiel doubted that they were any good. Regardless, Dean’s laughter was contagious, and Castiel found himself laughing along more often than not.

They fell silent for the first time that night, and Dean suddenly smirked at Castiel, a mischievous spark in his green eyes.

“So, what should we do to pass another hour?” He began conversationally. “Wanna  _make out_ , Cas?”

Back when Castiel was still an angel, this would’ve gone over his head. However during his time as a human, he’d learned a couple of things; he knew that Dean was  _joking_. Dean was  _teasing_  him, trying to get him flustered. And maybe Castiel’s cheeks heated up at the mere thought of kissing Dean, but two could play that game, and Castiel wasn’t about to lose this time.

“Actually, Dean… I wouldn’t be opposed to that.” He replied in a deadpan manner, looking Dean straight in the eye.

Castiel grinned smugly when it were  _Dean’s_  cheeks that flushed pink.  _Winning felt good_.

What Castiel hadn’t been prepared for, was Dean’s comeback.

“Awesome.” Was the only word that came from Dean’s mouth before he leaned in, kissing Castiel right on the lips, causing Castiel’s heart to skip more than just one beat.

When Castiel felt how Dean’s strong hands cupped his face to steady him before he deepened the kiss without hesitation, he concluded that winning felt good, but that sometimes losing the game was even  _better_.


	44. Day 44

“Dean, I’m running out of time.”

The words scared Dean. This was not what he’d expected when Castiel had asked him if they could talk for a minute. He’d expected an angel problem, or a demon problem, possibly the next apocalypse. But none of that was nearly as terrifying as  _this._

“I’m sorry, what?” Dean asked to make sure, tentatively sitting down on the edge of his bed.

Castiel stiffly followed his example, sitting down on the bed as well, but keeping as much distance between them as was possible.

“My grace… It’s borrowed, and it’s about to burn out entirely. I refuse to steal any more grace from my brothers and sisters, I don’t want any more angels to die on my account.”

Dean felt like he couldn’t breathe, as if some invisible force was suddenly cutting off his air supply. He knew exactly what Cas was implying.

“Are you saying that you’ll…” Dean stopped, unable to say the word out loud.

Cas nodded anyway. “Yes, it means I’ll  _die_ … Unless I rip out the grace before it has a chance to fade, in that case I’ll stay alive, but I’d be human.”

Waves of relief instantly washed over Dean. Thank god, Cas had scared him there for a second.

“Alright… So can you do it yourself? Or do you need any…  _help_ , you know, with the whole grace surgery thing?”

Their gazes met, and Dean noticed that the blue of Cas’ eyes was uncharacteristically dull. He looked tired, lost even, as if he’d given up. When the angel grimaced and shook his head, Dean quirked an eyebrow at him, wordlessly demanding an explanation.

“Who says I even want to do that?” He said calmly, as if it was no big deal. “I’ve been human once, and all I remember is the cold, the hunger… the  _loneliness_. I don’t think I ever want to go back to that.”

Dean froze. Cas could’ve stabbed him in the stomach with an angel blade, and it would’ve been less painful.

Dean had fucked up. He’d fucked up big time. They should’ve properly talked about this ages ago, but they never had, and in this moment it became oh-so-clear that there were a lot of things that Cas obviously needed to hear.

Instinctively, Dean scooted closer to Castiel, putting a hand on the angel’s knee. Castiel tensed, but didn’t push him away.

“You can’t be serious, Cas.” Dean’s voice had dropped to a whisper. “You can’t die because I…  _I need you._ ”

Castiel sighed, weary eyes holding Dean’s. “I would no longer have my powers, Dean. I would be of no use to you, it would be exactly like the last time when I was human… I was alone, miserable, and there wasn’t even anything useful that I could do to help my siblings. I didn’t even have a bed to sleep in… I’m just so very  _tired,_ and I don’t think I’m up for it.”

There was a silence.

If anyone had the right to be upset here, it was Castiel. Yet it was Dean who felt a tear slide down his cheek, and it was Dean who roughly pulled Cas into a hug, burying his face against Castiel’s shoulder, breathing in the clean scent that was so typically Cas.

Dean knew that he was shaking, and he felt how Castiel hesitantly put his arms around him, as if he wasn’t quite sure what was happening.

“No, Cas… You can’t die.” Dean whimpered into the fabric of Cas’ coat. “Last time when you were human, I was panicking, and I wasn’t thinking straight… But I  _am_  now, and I want you to  _stay_ with me. I want you to have your own room here… I need you to  _grow old_  with me, selfish as that sounds…”

Dean was clinging to Castiel as if his life depended on it, and he didn’t realize until now that Castiel’s hand was soothingly rubbing circles into his back.

“I’d take care of you, Cas… Such good care. Please just stay alive for me…” Dean was babbling now, and Cas let him.

They stayed in their embrace until Dean calmed down. When he pulled back after a while, Cas was eyeing him with a bewildered expression. And Dean wanted it to go away, but he couldn’t think of any more words to say.

In an act of recklessness, he leaned in, pressing a soft, lingering kiss to the lips that he loved to stare at. The kiss was meant to say ‘ _please trust me’_   and ‘ _I love you’_.

“You kissed me…” Castiel murmured in awe when the kiss ended.

A nervous laugh escaped Dean; he’d been wanting to do that for so long now, he almost felt giddy, despite the situation that they were in.

“You know… I promise I will kiss you a million more times, but you gotta stay with me then.”

Castiel’s eyes lit up with a spark of hope, a new fire burning deep within them.

“Yes…” Castiel said quietly before he wiggled his way into Dean’s arms, this time initiating the hug and burying his face against Dean’s neck. “Yes, I think I can do that.”

Dean shivered as the words were whispered into his skin. He vowed to whoever was listening up above that he would never let his angel down again.


	45. Day 45

Dean usually enjoyed this; driving back to the bunker after successfully solving a case, the road ahead of him empty, the sky getting darker and darker. It made him feel calm, and it always gave him a chance to sort out his thoughts.

This time however, the drive home wasn’t really a calming event…

The heavy weight that rested against Dean’s right arm was a serious distraction. Whereas the  _angel_ Castiel never needed sleep,  _human_  Cas was still getting used to being mortal, and he loved his naps. Not that Dean minded naps; he’d lost count of all the times that Sammy had fallen asleep in the Impala’s passenger seat.

The difference was that Sam always ended up with his cheek pressed against the window, whereas Castiel had shamelessly curled up against Dean instead. He was resting against Dean’s side, head resting on Dean’s shoulder as if he  _belonged there_. And perhaps he did, taking into account the fact that they fit together like two pieces of a puzzle.

Cas was fast asleep, snoring lightly, and Dean couldn’t help but sneak a look at him every two minutes or so. The warmth was distracting him, but at the same time it was welcome; it made him feel less alone. The way Castiel was drooling against his jacket should have disturbed Dean, but it didn’t.

While Dean was still internally debating whether all of this was even acceptable or not, Castiel suddenly started mumbling in his sleep. The fallen angel was  _dreaming._

Dean noticed how those full, pink lips curled up into a smile.

“ _Dean…_ ” He breathed, making the simple word sound like a prayer.

One of Cas’ hands gripped the fabric of Dean’s shirt, and Castiel sighed in his sleep as he nuzzled against Dean’s neck.

Dean found himself quietly answering Cas’ silent prayer, putting his hand over Castiel’s. “It’s all good, Cas…  _I’m here_.”

Again Cas sighed, smiling even wider in his sleep.

And Dean no longer minded that the former angel acted like he belonged in Dean’s arms, because Dean  _wanted_  him to belong there. He vowed to himself that once Castiel woke up, he would tell his angel exactly that.


	46. Day 46

“Are we all ready to go?” Castiel asked as he entered the motel room, looking slightly uncomfortable in the fed suit that was required for this particular case.

Sam vaguely mumbled a few words, too busy reading something on his laptop, but Dean couldn’t hold back a laugh when he looked up at his best friend.

The angel still had trouble with ties it seemed, seeing as his blue striped tie was backwards. It brought back memories, reminding Dean how far the two of them had come.  

Dean got up from the bed, smirking at Castiel, who was suspiciously narrowing his eyes.

“What’s so funny, Dean?” He demanded, staring Dean down with those giant pools of blue.

The pout on Cas’ lips was nothing but  _endearing_ , as was the dark hair that was positively ruffled due to him changing clothes. Dean wasn’t sure why his brain had used that term to describe his best friend, but he didn’t disagree either.

Without giving it much thought, Dean stepped forward, hands already reaching for Cas’ tie.

“You’re doing it wrong,  _baby_.” He clarified.

Castiel’s eyes grew wider but Dean didn’t pay it much mind. That was until he heard Sam’s loud snort in the background. Dean froze when he realized what he’d just said, fingers stilling around the fabric of Cas’ tie.

“I meant  _buddy._ ” Dean said gruffly after taking a deep breath, the words aimed at his younger brother rather than at Castiel.

But it was Cas’ face that fell. The angel didn’t move away though, letting Dean finish the job. Still, Dean didn’t like it, seeing Castiel sad. He decided that maybe it was time to give in to what his subconscious had been trying to tell him for so long now.

Dean smiled to himself once he’d successfully fixed the tie, then leaned in to whisper in Cas’ ear, sharing some words with the angel that weren’t meant to be heard by nosy brothers. He lovingly stroked Castiel’s upper arm as he said them.

“There you go… All better,  _baby._ “


	47. Day 47

“What are you having?” Dean asked, curiously cocking his head at Castiel.

Cas frowned at him from across the table.

“I’m not sure yet, Dean.” He mused, biting his lower lip in that way that Dean found more than a little endearing. “There’s so much, I have no idea what to choose.”

Dean chuckled; human Cas discovering his preferences in food was a rather entertaining journey. By now, Cas had learned what to pick at the cheap diners where they usually stopped while on the road, but a fancy restaurant such as this one was a whole different story.

Also, they weren’t on a case. Or on the road even. Dean had dragged Castiel here for  _a reason_. Cas had been confused at first, asking why Sam wasn’t joining them, staying behind at the bunker instead. But not even Sam’s knowing smile had managed to tip the former angel off, much to Dean’s relief.

Which left Dean with only one thing to do; confessing to Cas why exactly they were here tonight,  _together._  He nervously shifted in his seat, glancing around the room as Castiel continued to study the menu. Valentine’s day decorations were everywhere; red and pink hearts, cupids, arrows, red roses, candles, the whole shebang. Dean took another large sip of his wine, hoping that some alcohol would help him to man up.

Unsurprisingly, Castiel was oblivious to all of this. In all fairness, that was only going to make it harder for Dean to get this show on the road. Acting on your feelings wasn’t nearly as simple as they made it seem in those chick flick movies.

A middle-aged waitress, wearing a bright pink dress, was suddenly standing at their table.

“Are you lovebirds ready to order?” She asked, looking from Castiel to Dean, a smirk slowly growing on her face when she caught the blush that Dean could feel blooming on his cheeks.

She waited patiently as Dean and Cas exchanged looks, the fallen angel’s eyes mildly confused as they fell on Dean. Dean cleared his throat, averting his eyes, willing the awkward moment away.

Cas eventually chose the salmon, and the waitress hummed her approval. Dean was too flustered to say anything other than “Same for me.”

The waitress nodded, taking their menus before she rushed off.

When Dean dared to sneak a look at Castiel again, he found that his friend was smiling fondly at him. God, he had to say  _something_. Right now, or he would never find the courage to do it…

But Dean being Dean, he backed out. His fingers were anxiously clenching around his glass of wine, and he was basically afraid to even look Cas in the eye. This was a downright disaster; usually, the two of them had plenty to talk about without even trying, but right now Dean was freaking out. How was he ever going to explain to Castiel in a subtle way that this was supposed to be a  _date_? A date that also counted as a  _love confession_.

“Are you feeling alright, Dean?”

Blinking at Castiel like a deer caught in the headlights, Dean tried to find an answer to that simple question.

“I… Yes, I’m… I’m good.” Dean mumbled, face turning hot again. “I’m awesome.”

Castiel laughed unexpectedly, reaching over the table, touching Dean’s hand where it was lying on top of the ugly red tablecloth. Dean swore he could feel sparks fly at the feeling of Cas’ skin against his own.

“Hmm… You know, I’ve often read about humans being nervous on a  _first date_ , but I never imagined it being this bad.” Cas remarked bluntly. “You look positively terrified…”

Dean’s jaw might have dropped and hit the table, because what the hell? Cas  _knew_?!

Castiel sighed, brushing a thumb over Dean’s knuckles, slowly shaking his head. “I’m not an idiot, Dean. Being new to humanity doesn’t mean that I’m  _blind_.”

This was the moment where Dean was supposed to stop gaping and start talking. After several minutes had passed, he at last succeeded at forming a small sentence.

“So you… Don’t mind?” Dean asked, staring down at their hands, fingers linked together now.

“Does it look like I mind?” Castiel shot back cheekily, causing Dean to look up again.

Both of them abruptly started laughing at the absurdity of the situation. There was a rare twinkle in Cas’ eyes that left Dean speechless, but in a good way this time.  After giving his brain a second to adjust, Dean  _did_ find that things were easier all of the sudden, now that there was the reassurance of Cas feeling the same.

Before long, they were freely talking to each other in whispers between sips of wine, revealing feelings that probably should’ve been discussed years ago. Even with all the clashing pink and red surrounding them, all Dean could see was his favorite shade of blue.

When the waitress returned with their food, placing two plates in front of them, Dean glanced down at their empty glasses.

“Could I have another glass of wine, please?” Dean politely asked her.

“Of course, sir.” She replied with a tiny nod.

“And for my  _boyfriend_  as well.”

Again, the waitress nodded, not seeming affected in any way by what Dean had just said. Castiel on the other hand, was  _beaming_ , his smile radiant, lighting up the entire restaurant, putting the decorations to shame.

Dean felt as light as Castiel looked at the moment. In hindsight, he should’ve known that it would be easy… It always was with Cas.

 


	48. Day 48

Dean liked the new tie. He liked the way the light shade of blue brought out Cas’ eyes, even more so than the old one. He liked the way Cas now knew how to properly tie it, showing that he was closer to adjusting to humanity than ever before. Dean liked how it reminded him of the old days, and how it reminded him of their history together, of how much had changed between them, but in a good way.

So yeah, he liked that the tie had made a long awaited comeback, but of course he never mentioned it.

He didn’t mention it while working cases with his younger brother and Castiel. He didn’t mention it whenever the three of them were hanging out to have a beer afterwards. He didn’t mention it period. 

Until that one night, when they were back at the bunker after solving a tricky case involving a witch…

Sam had gone to bed not too long ago, but Dean and Castiel were still quietly chatting over glasses of whiskey. Cas’ eyes were sparkling, his cheeks rosy. Dean didn’t think he’d ever wanted to kiss someone  _this much_. Then again, nearly six years of waiting would do that to a person.

So no, Dean had never planned on mentioning the tie, and he was going to stick to that. However, there were other ways to show Cas how much he approved of said tie.

The angel was in the middle of laughing at one of Dean’s not-at-all-funny jokes, when Dean’s hand reached out, fingers closing around the tie, pulling Cas closer and closer until their lips inevitably collided. Castiel looked surprised but didn’t pull back, in fact, his lips were hungrily claiming Dean’s within a matter of seconds.

Dean smiled against his best friend’s lips. He’d been right. That was a very  _useful_  tie.


	49. Day 49

Dean’s heartbeat was slowly going back to normal, adrenaline still rushing through his veins. He was trying to catch his breath, silently thanking some non-existent god that they had made it out of the abandoned warehouse alive. Even with some angelic assistance, fifteen vamps was a lot to take on. It had been a close call for him and Cas, no doubt about it, but in the end they had managed.

Still, as scary as  _that_  had been, it wasn’t half as scary as  _this_. It was just the two of them in the Impala, and Castiel was shooting Dean one of his worried yet soulful stares from the passenger seat. The kind of stare that made Dean’s heart do funny things that had nothing to do with their earlier encounter with over a dozen of hostile vampires. Vamps, Dean could handle. His feelings for Cas? Not so much.

Of course Dean would be fooling himself if he pretended that it hadn’t always been there; that strange chemistry between the two of them. The weird electricity in the air whenever it was just him and the angel. However, it seemed to have kicked up a notch after they had both nearly died.

“Are you sure you are alright, Dean?” It was the second time that Castiel asked that question, his eyes wide and worried. “Are you good to drive?”

Dean nodded, because yeah, he was alright. They came, they saw, they conquered. Who cared if not everything had gone according to plan? Who cared if they had gotten a couple of scratches along the way?

Blue eyes darted down to Dean’s lips, and Dean’s heart fluttered anxiously. When Castiel grimaced disapprovingly, Dean realized that Cas wasn’t looking at his lips for the reasons that Dean wanted him to. It was obviously the deep cut on his lower lip that had gotten the angel’s attention.

Castiel sighed, without a word reaching out to Dean, then lightly brushing his thumb over Dean’s bottom lip. Dean shivered at the skin-on-skin contact. The pad of Cas’ thumb lingered there for a long second as he healed the cut, the air between them crackling with something untouchable.

Suddenly, Dean was slapped in the face by the unpleasant truth. He could have  _lost_  Cas. Cas could’ve lost  _him_. They could’ve lost  _each other_ , and Cas never would’ve  _known_. Never would’ve known how much Dean cared about him, and how Dean wanted him to be so much more than just part of the family.

After facing fifteen bloodthirsty vamps, Dean decided that he could do  _this_ , too…

He shifted in his seat and cleared his throat, staring out of the window to avoid Cas’ eyes. It was getting dark outside, and the temperature in the car was going down. Dean didn’t dare start the engine though, afraid to ruin the moment.

“Look, Cas… I think that maybe we need to  _talk_.” Dean began quietly. “I think there’s stuff I need to say to you, but I’m gonna need you to not freak out on me, okay?”

When he felt a warm hand on his arm, Dean felt compelled to turn his head so that he was facing Castiel again. As soon as their gazes locked, Cas nodded. “I’m listening, Dean.”

“Right…” Dean muttered, licking his lips in a useless attempt to make them less dry.

The intensity of that penetrating blue stare was doing nothing to make this any less nerve-racking.

“So what I’m trying to say… I think that… I mean,  _we_ … As in you and I…” Dean rambled aimlessly, wishing that he didn’t have to look Castiel in the eye while making this particular confession. “Do you remember when I said I need you? Like, I said it many times… Lots of times… Not that it is -it’s not relevant, really. That wasn’t what I was getting at, I was just saying that I think that you and I are…” He fell silent again, his mouth and his brain not cooperating like Dean wished they would.

By now, Dean was expecting the infamous confused head tilt to make an appearance. Instead, Cas gave him the familiar exasperated stare of sarcasm that he without a doubt had picked up from Sammy.

“Dean?”

“Yeah?”

Dean knew he had to be hallucinating the angel’s next words.

“Would you please just shut up and  _kiss me_  already?”

But Dean’s ears weren’t deceiving him, and that was definitely a tiny smirk, right there on Castiel’s face. Subtle as it was, it even touched Cas’ eyes.

Despite Dean usually not being a big fan of doing as he was told, there was an exception to every rule. When their lips touched for the first time and Castiel moaned against Dean’s mouth, Dean figured that in this case, he actually  _loved_  being told what to do.


	50. Day 50

“Cas?” Dean cautiously said the name, looking at his wide eyed friend, who was sitting across from him at the bunker’s tiny kitchen table. “Cas, you doing okay? You look like you just had a vision of the next apocalypse or something.”

Castiel spared the peanut butter and jelly sandwich on his plate a brief glance, then looked back up at Dean. Dean could swear that the look on the former angel’s face was one of  _fear_. Cas’ teeth were worrying his bottom lip, blue eyes staring at Dean, a mild panic in them. Dean abandoned his pancakes, pushing his plate to the side to give Cas his undivided attention.

Cas was still in the clothes that he’d slept in, his hair uncombed. So far, he had adjusted pretty well to being human. But as much as Dean secretly enjoyed seeing his best friend like that, all messy and adorable and ruffled, he was currently too worried to even appreciate Castiel’s just-rolled-out-of-bed look.

“Talk to me, man. What’s wrong?” Dean demanded when Cas didn’t reply.

The fallen angel cast his eyes down as he mumbled a response. “I haven’t been human for that long, Dean, but I’m afraid that I… I think I might have  _a heart condition_.”

If Dean had still been eating, he would’ve coughed up his food for sure. The mere thought of his now human angel no longer being all that durable, had already caused Dean a great deal of distress ever since Cas had lost his grace.

“Why would you think that, Cas? What are you feeling?” Dean interrogated, instinctively switching into overprotective-mode.

Castiel seemed to be lost in thought for a minute before he blinked, looking at Dean again. “Sometimes… Sometimes my heart goes  _ridiculously fast_. And whenever that happens, my hands often get sweaty, and I have to take deep breaths in order to calm myself down.”

That didn’t sound good; Dean didn’t have to be a doctor to tell. “Alright… So how often does that happen?  _When_  does it happen?” He probed, trying to stay calm.

Cas fumbled with his hands, contemplating. “It happens quite often… It happened  _just now_ , when you handed me that mug of coffee and you  _smiled_ at me. Actually, come to think of it, I think it only happens when you’re  _near_ , or  _touch me_ , or  _talk to me.._. But that has never happened before, not when I still had my grace.” Castiel looked thoroughly confused as he finished his explanation.

This was where Dean had the advantage.  _Human emotions_ , and the physical reactions to them. Dean was thrilled upon realizing what it meant. It meant that something he had never dared to hope for, was in fact not just a hopeless fantasy.

Dean chuckled, reaching out a hand to Castiel, who eyed it suspiciously. “Let me feel those sweaty hands of yours.”

With a skeptical frown, Cas complied, placing his hand in Dean’s. Sweaty palms; check. Dean brushed his thumb against the inside of Castiel’s wrist. Pulse quickening; check. When Dean gazed up at Cas’ face again, Castiel’s flushed cheeks sealed the deal.

Dean was unable to contain his smirk any longer.

“Well, good news is; you’re not dying.” Dean declared with a playful wink, bringing Cas’ hand closer so that he could kiss his knuckles, causing Castiel to blush even harder. “The bad news… This is  _payback time_ , Cas. Because this is how I’ve felt when being around you for the past five freaking years.  _Welcome to humanity_.”


	51. Day 51

Dean had never really enjoyed smiling. Smiling was just one of the many tasks that he had to go through every so often. Something he  _had_  to do at times, because there was a  _reason_ behind it. Something he had to do to assure Sammy that he was fine. Or something that he had to do to keep himself from getting sucked into a giant black hole of hopelessness.

Which is why his current situation was unfamiliar, almost  _surreal_. One moment, Dean had been miserable, sulking in the bunker’s room that he’d claimed as his own. But the next, Castiel had found him, had joined him on the bed without asking Dean’s permission. Was holding Dean in his arms, as if it was the normal thing to do.

And as much as Dean hated the word ‘normal’, that was exactly what this was.  _Normal. Natural_.

Castiel was talking to him. About random things, about  _pointless_  things. About things that _shouldn’t_ be funny, because Castiel’s sense of humor  _sucked._  Yet, aforementioned things were entertaining all the same, because it was Cas whispering them into Dean’s ear.

It was a lame story about Castiel trying to shop at a Gas N’ Sip that eventually made Dean’s lips twitch into a tiny smile. Cas told him about how he’d wanted to get pie, accidentally knocking over shelves and having to deal with an unhelpful sales associate while doing so. Dean assumed that Cas’ inspiration came from that time when he’d been human and forced to find a job, and he admired Cas’ creativity.

“I ended up not getting any pie, and then I got…  _distracted_ , as well.” Castiel told Dean, murmuring the words in Dean’s ear, the hand on Dean’s waist pulling Dean closer, so that they were chest to chest. “But I was stupid… I shouldn’t have let anyone distract me… I should’ve looked for pie elsewhere, and I should’ve returned to  _you_.”

Dean was tired, getting more sleepy with the second. But something he really liked about this statement was the part of Cas  _returning_  to him. And whatever Cas was babbling on about, Dean didn’t care. Because Castiel was with him,  _here and now_ , and that was all that counted. Two solid arms were holding Dean close, soft lips brushing against his hair as he relaxed into the embrace.

As his eyelids drooped, Dean smiled. For the first time in forever, he didn’t smile because he  _had_ to, but because he  _wanted_  to.


	52. Day 52

Castiel woke up to the warmth of the sun touching his face. Not opening his eyes yet, he took a moment to revel in the comfort of his bed, stretching like a cat. He stilled in the middle of his wake-up-ritual when his elbow unexpectedly collided with something warm and solid beside him.

 _Oh, right_. He now recalled that his best friend Dean had slept over. They’d stayed up late, watching movies and eating unhealthy amounts of chips and popcorn. The two of them had known each other since they were ten, therefore neither of them had ever brought up the fact that maybe sharing a bed at seventeen could get awkward. But truth be told, Castiel found it more  _comforting_ than anything else. Although at the same time, it made him sad; knowing that there were things that he could never have with Dean. Things such as  _cuddling_ , because moments like this, Dean was so close, yet so far away.

So maybe Castiel liked Dean, and liked him a little too much. As long as Dean didn’t know, there was no harm done.

Deciding that he could no longer pretend-sleep, Castiel slowly opened his eyes, albeit reluctantly. He didn’t want it to end, that intimate moment between the two of them. Didn’t want to get out of bed and offer Dean breakfast, even though that was the polite thing to do when a friend stayed over.

Castiel’s heart did a tiny flip when the first thing he saw was a familiar kind of green. The kind of green that belonged to eyes that you read about in sappy romance novels. Yet these eyes were real, and they were staring right at Castiel, a slight twinkle in them.

Dean was propped up on one elbow, grinning lazily, watching Castiel as if he’d been doing it for hours.

“Morning, sunshine.” Dean greeted him, sunlight highlighting the many freckles on his face. “Thought you were never gonna show me those pretty blues.”

Oh god. That sounded like he  _had_  indeed been watching Castiel. Heartbeat going even faster, Castiel tried to hide his panic. He’d probably been  _drooling_  in his sleep, or  _snoring_. Not a very appealing sight. And why had Dean been watching him in the first place? More importantly, why had he complimented Castiel’s eyes _?_  His cheeks were flaming at the mere thought.

Even though speaking was hard, Castiel did succeed at voicing some burning questions. “What is going on, Dean? Were you  _watching_  me? Why?”

Dean snorted, raising his eyebrows. It sounded awfully loud in the silent bedroom.

“ _Why?_ ” He repeated, rolling his eyes at Castiel as if the reason was obvious. “How about because I woke up way before you did, and you’re freaking  _beautiful_. My self-control has a limit, you know. Actually, if you don’t tell me to stop, I’m gonna kiss you within now and…” Dean pretended to check his watch. “Twenty seconds.”

Fiveseconds passed. Ten seconds…  _Twenty seconds_.

Castiel didn’t stop Dean when strong arms pulled him to the other side of the bed. He didn’t stop Dean when their lips touched for the first time.

But as good as the kiss was, what Castiel got  _after_ that, was even better. He got  _cuddling_. He got the warmth of Dean’s body pressed against his. He got to spend a long lazy Saturday morning in bed as Dean whispered praise into his ear. He got to experience  _heaven_ , right here on earth


	53. Day 53

“So… I ehm… I had a great time tonight.” Dean said, nervously scratching the back of his head.

No matter how well a first date went, there was always that awkward moment when it  _ended_. Which meant saying goodbye, and deciding whether or not that goodbye would include a kiss. Blue eyes were curiously watching him, holding only the tiniest hint of expectation.

As soon as they’d gotten home, Dean had walked Castiel to the room in the bunker that now belonged to the former angel. It was silly, Dean was well aware. And perhaps he was overdoing this whole courting thing, seeing as him and Cas had known each other for seven years now. But this was  _Cas_ , and Cas was important. For once, Dean felt a need to do everything according to the book, and so after they’d finally confessed their feelings for each other, Dean had insisted they’d go about this the proper way. Especially because his angel was human now, Dean thought it would be unfair for him to miss out on the  _good_  stuff that came with humanity.

“Me too. I very much enjoyed our date.” Castiel’s smile was soft, but his voice was full of confidence.

Dean’s heart fluttered without permission. Maybe he was just a sucker for Cas’ smile. Or perhaps it was because the fallen angel looked pretty damn good in jeans and plaid.

It turned out that Cas was confident when it came to both words and actions, for he easily leaned in to kiss Dean on the cheek. Aside from a little shocked, Dean was grateful. Grateful because Cas was the brave one in this scenario, meaning that Dean didn’t have to be.

Regardless, Dean felt more flustered than he should after one innocent kiss on the cheek, and he tried to dismiss his own insecurities with a joke.

“Kiss on the cheek, huh? That means you just rated this date as  _acceptable_ , I’ll count that as a win.” He winked at Cas, who looked rather confused at the remark.

However, that confusion disappeared as quickly as it had shown up, and all of the sudden strong hands were grabbing Dean’s shirt, forcing him with his back against the door and trapping him there. Azure eyes were boring into Dean’s, Cas’ face only inches away.

“I apologize.” Castiel murmured, warm breath teasing Dean’s lips. “I’m new to this, I wasn’t aware that the kiss was meant to rate the date.”

Castiel closed the distance before Dean could even reply, and the kiss that followed was mind-blowing. Cas’ lips refused to relent until Dean was left completely breathless, graceful fingers running through Dean’s hair as their mouths explored.

When they had no other choice but to break free for air, Dean was slightly dazed, lost in the eyes that belonged to his best friend. Castiel, that little bastard, didn’t seem to have the same problem. He looked pleased with himself, and Dean could swear that there was a small smirk tugging at the lips that had just now kissed him senseless.

“ _That_ , was how I would rate our date, Dean.”


	54. Day 54

The bunker’s library was silent, as could be expected at three in the morning. The silence used to be deafening to Dean whenever he wasted his hours there on a sleepless night, but this time, it was almost comforting. Trying to make as little noise as possible, he closed the door behind him, quietly sneaking in.

Sitting in one of the comfortable chairs in the corner was Castiel, brow furrowed in concentration as he flipped through the pages of an old dusty book. Dean’s heart soared at the sight; Castiel being  _there_. Castiel making himself  _at home_. Castiel who had ditched his many coats, leaving nothing but the white dress shirt, his tie loose. Cas had been at the bunker plenty of times, but it had always been temporary, and with a purpose.  _Business._

This time, there was no purpose. No reason other than Dean  _wanting_  him to stay. Wanting him close, because he needed Cas’ presence, and had at last gathered the courage to tell the angel exactly what it was he needed. It had been a week of many firsts… First brutally honest talk, first love confession,  _first kiss_.

“This is hardly a time for a human to be awake, Dean.” Cas spoke without looking up from his book, but he sounded more amused than condescending.

Dean froze in the middle of the room. _Of-freaking-course_. No point in sneaking around when the one you were trying to sneak up on was a supernatural being with heightened senses.

“You’re up too, look who’s talking.” Dean sputtered a defense.

Cas glanced up now, lifting an eyebrow at Dean, vivid blue eyes narrowing. “But unlike you, I’m not human.”

Dean considered coming up with a cocky remark, one that could possibly start an argument. But he didn’t; it would only be a waste of precious time. Time that he’d rather spend doing  _other_  things.

There was no hesitation as Dean crossed the room, then pushed the book aside so that he could make himself comfortable in Cas’ lap, nuzzling Cas’ shoulder.

Cas was warm, and comfortable, and he smelled exceptionally nice. Sleep came to Dean the second he tucked his head under Cas’ chin and wrapped his arms around the angel’s waist, Cas’ arms enveloping him in return. Dean’s eyes were already drooping when he heard Castiel chuckle softly.

“ _This_  is where you’re choosing to sleep?” Cas questioned incredulously, murmuring the words into Dean’s hair, warm breath soothingly caressing Dean’s scalp.  

Dean forced out a sleepy smile, not sure if Castiel would be able to see it at all from this angle, but making an effort nonetheless.

“Hmm, yeah…” He slurred. “Changed my mind… You were right, Cas… ‘S no time for a human to be awake.”

The last thing Dean remembered before slipping into a world of pleasant dreams, was the soft brush of Cas’ lips against the top of his head. Dean thanked his lucky stars for having an angel boyfriend to watch over him.


	55. Day 55

Castiel liked writing things down. Ordinary things. Things about his day, or about how he felt whenever he discovered a new-to-him human emotion that he wasn’t yet familiar with.

After losing his grace, he’d soon noticed the change… His impeccable memory was only a fraction of what it had been back when he was still an angel.  _Feeling_  emotions was different than observing them from others, and they were highly complicated. And so Castiel had started a journal, to help him figure out his life as a human, so that he could make sense of it.

He was sitting Indian style on his bed.  _His_ bed _,_  in  _his_  room. At least becoming human was significantly less scary when you had a place to stay, and when you weren’t all on your own, cold and hungry. The bunker was a safe place, as safe as a fallen angel could get.

A light knock on the door made that Castiel’s pen paused on the paper.

“Come in.” He called, slowly closing the notebook.

Dean’s smiling face greeted him, and Castiel watched how his favorite human walked into the room and casually sat down on the edge of Castiel’s bed. ‘ _Thump thump’_  went Castiel’s heart, like it loved to do whenever Dean was near. He made a mental note to write that down later.

“You doing okay, Cas?” Dean asked, a small sliver of worry in the eyes that held Castiel’s favorite color. “Haven’t seen you around much today.”

Dean’s knee was touching Castiel’s, offering an exciting kind of warmth; another feeling that he filed away for research.

“I’m fine, Dean… I was just writing.” Castiel answered, briefly looking down at where their knees were still pressed together.

Lifting an eyebrow, Dean curiously tilted his head. “Writing, huh? What about?”

Castiel inwardly debated whether to tell Dean or not. He wanted to tell his best friend, but not right now. He much preferred filling Dean in once he was better at understanding what it even was that he was feeling to begin with.

“Is it alright if I tell you some other time?” Castiel asked, putting a hand on Dean’s knee before he realized what he was doing.

Luckily, Dean didn’t seem to mind, resting his own hand on top of Castiel’s, the expression on his face soft and open. “Nah, it’s fine… Whenever you’re ready.”

There was a lengthy silence, but it wasn’t what Castiel would call ‘uncomfortable’, even though he felt a certain tension in the air between them that he couldn’t quite label. That same tension had often been there back when Castiel had still been an angel, but this time it was more prominent, more real, no longer muted by the power of Castiel’s grace.

He barely noticed how Dean was subtly moving closer and closer, but he definitely understood what was going on when soft lips unexpectedly brushed against his own. The steady ‘thump thump’ of Castiel’s heart became even louder, or that’s what it sounded like, heartbeat pounding in Castiel’s ears.

When Dean pulled back, green eyes were questioningly blinking at Castiel. “Was this… Was that  _okay_ , Cas?”

Castiel didn’t succeed at stopping the grin that he could already feel creeping up his face. Some of his feelings just became  _a lot_  clearer. Perhaps there was no need to wait and tell Dean after all. Without a word, he picked up the notebook, flipping through it until he found an empty page. He took the pen, then started writing.

_‘Today, Dean Winchester kissed me for the very first time. Human or angel, I know without a doubt that this feeling was the best I have ever experienced in my long existence. I sincerely hope that this kiss was the first of many.’_

When Castiel timidly glanced up at his friend again, Dean looked nothing short of ecstatic, eyes all but shining.

“Hell yeah…” Dean whispered, smoothly leaning in for the second time. “The first of  _many._ ”


	56. Day 56

Resting his cheek against Dean’s shoulder, Castiel pretends that he doesn’t have a clue what this is all about as they slow dance in the bunker’s kitchen on a regular Friday night, both dressed up in slacks and fancy dress shirts. Sometimes Dean doesn’t want to talk about things, but wants to show rather than tell. Castiel lets him. There’s no music, only Dean humming along to a song in his head, a song that Castiel doesn’t even recognize. Yet it’s perfect,  _all of it_.

After Sam had made himself scarce, Dean had made dinner for the two of them; candles, roses, the whole nine yards. Castiel isn’t quite sure how he’d ended up here, in Dean’s arms, but he’s not about to complain.

Dean doesn’t often do these things, so when he  _does_  do them, it always catches Castiel by surprise.

When Dean stops singing, they don’t stop moving, still swaying lazily to the rhythm of their own breathing and their heartbeats. Castiel sighs contentedly, his arms tightening around Dean’s neck as Dean’s grip on his waist becomes more firm. Almost as if Dean is scared that Castiel will disappear if he doesn’t hold on. Castiel likes it, to be needed like that.  _Dean_ needing him like that.

“You know why, right?” Dean suddenly murmurs against his temple.

Ah, so Dean  _does_  want to talk about it.

“Of course I do, Dean.” Castiel assures him with a light kiss against his jaw. “September eighteenth… I could never forget about this date.”

Dean exhales against his cheek, evidently relieved that he’s not alone in that.

“Do you remember any of it?” Dean asks after a moment passes, tone suspiciously nonchalant.

Castiel chuckles at Dean’s unsubtlety, then pulls back a little, so that his eyes can find Dean’s. Even though he’s human now -his memory not as impressive as it used to be back when he still had his grace- this is something that Castiel won’t forget until the day he ceases to exist.

“Every second… All I could see was your soul. I’d seen it before, but when we were there in that barn, I was almost blinded by it. That image will stay with me forever.” He whispers against Dean’s lips. “Do  _you_ remember?”

Dean laughs quietly, green eyes lighting up, adding some color to the dimly lit kitchen. “Sure do… I remember wings and… I remember  _sparks flying_.”

They’ve stopped moving, and Castiel brushes his lips against Dean’s in an almost kiss.

“With my wings gone, and with me no longer being able to see souls… I suppose we don’t have much left to remind us of our first meeting.” Castiel mumbles against the corner of Dean’s mouth, that sudden thought making him sad.

But Dean just smiles, and a strong hand cups Castiel’s cheek, warm and comforting. “Yeah well… We don’t need any of that as long as  _those sparks_  are still here, baby.”

When Dean leans in and kisses him for real, slow, and sweet, and magical… Castiel doesn’t doubt that Dean is right about everything. All these years later, the sparks  _are_  still there, and Castiel genuinely believes that those will never fade.


	57. Day 57

“How are you feeling, Dean?”

Castiel could guess, even though from now on he’d have to figure it out the  _human_  way. No more cheating by reading minds or souls… Nonetheless, he felt the need to ask. He patiently awaited an answer as he entered Dean’s room and casually sat down on the edge of the memory foam mattress. Dean was propped up against the headboard, arms around his knees.

He looked tired, but more at ease than Castiel has seen him in a long time. His eyes were full of life, the endless black no longer threatening to take over the green at any given moment.

“I’m good…” Dean muttered, giving Castiel a flimsy smile. “It’s good to be human again.”

Hiding behind that smile was guilt, Castiel knew this. And he needed that guilt to go away, because it was unnecessary. After all, Castiel didn’t regret what he’d done to save Dean.

Dean stretched his legs, opening his arms and cocking his head at Castiel. Brand new as this thing between the two of them still was, Castiel recognized it as an invitation. He kicked off his shoes and crawled into Dean’s arms, resting his head where he could feel Dean’s heartbeat.

“What about you, huh? How are  _you_ feeling?” Dean asked as a hand nonchalantly started playing with Castiel’s hair.

Castiel had to think about it. He felt tired, cold, and a little hungry. Things he didn’t have to deal with when he was still an angel. He felt weak without his grace, just like the first time when he’d lost his wings. And yet, he felt stronger than he ever had. Perhaps the point of it all wasn’t simply  _being alive_ , but being alive and having something  _to live for_.

“Baby?” Dean mumbled into Castiel’s hair, dragging Castiel away from his thoughts.

Pressing himself even closer to Dean, Castiel’s fingers automatically tangled themselves into Dean’s shirt. He wouldn’t trade this for the world. Not for his grace, not for his wings. He wouldn’t want to exist in a world if Dean wasn’t in it. Now that Castiel was certain that they felt the same, the thought of outliving Dean by thousands of years was terrifying.

He sighed in relief as he stretched his neck to nuzzle Dean’s jaw, before softly kissing the mild stubble there.

“I’m fine, Dean…” He whispered truthfully. “ _It’s good to be human again_.”


	58. Day 58

The stars were exceptionally bright tonight. So bright in fact, that Dean couldn’t even blame Cas for forcing him to pull over so that they could watch the sky for a bit. Bright enough to make Dean forget about how uncomfortable the cold, unyielding hood of the Impala was. It was good, observing the stars with Cas.  _More_  than good… No worries existed here, in the middle of nowhere, at the side of a deserted road, where Dean was curled up against his best-friend-turned-lover.

Yet at the same time, it was an unwanted reminder. The way Cas was gazing up at the sky. The many twinkling lights that were reflected in the angel’s eyes. The fondness in Castiel’s smile as those eyes repeatedly traced the endless constellations that were without a doubt so familiar to him.

“I’m sorry…” Dean whispered a sudden apology to the angel he’d grown to love, tilting his head at the endless sea of black above them. “I’m sure you miss it… I guess to you that’s kinda like  _home_ , huh?”

Castiel’s eyes immediately flickered to Dean’s, abandoning the maze of stars without hesitation.

“No…” Castiel murmured before dropping a delicate kiss to Dean’s cheek, then shifting to make himself even more comfortable in Dean’s arms. “It  _used_  to be… But for a while now, my home has been right  _here_.”

For the first time in his life, Dean felt a little special. He was possibly the first human to ever receive a gift from the sky, a gift from God himself.

Holding Cas closer and pressing a kiss into dark tousled hair, Dean spotted a falling star in the distance. There was no need to make a wish; Dean already had everything he wanted,  _right here._


	59. Day 59

Dean’s eyes strayed from the outdated motel television at the sound of a door creaking, and he didn’t miss how Castiel was shivering when he slipped out of the pathetic excuse for a bathroom that the motel had to offer. It was still an uncommon sight, and it had taken Dean some getting used to; his best friend being human now, meaning that he was affected by cold, hunger,  _pain…_ No longer almighty and invincible, but  _mortal_. Just like Dean.

Cas’ hair was still dripping wet from the shower, and he was wearing some cheap sweatpants and an old shirt that had once belonged to Dean. His shoulders were hunched, his entire body tense as he made a beeline for the bed that was his for the night.

Dean could understand, after all it hadn’t been the easiest hunt; that had been one nasty werewolf. And whereas Dean was used to the feeling of aching muscles and general exhaustion, the fallen angel clearly wasn’t.

While giving Dean a tired smile that didn’t quite reach the blue eyes that Dean secretly admired, Castiel made himself comfortable on his own bed. He picked up the book that he’d brought with him, and with another shudder averted his eyes from Dean, moving his full attention to the story that he’d been engrossed in since he’d found the book in the bunker’s library last week.

Looking for a distraction, Dean grabbed his phone to send Sam a text, letting him know that they were still alive and had succeeded.

_‘Heya Sammy, werewolf bit the dust and all is good here, we’ll be home tomorrow.’_

After putting the phone down again, Dean absentmindedly stared at the TV some more, but he soon found himself checking out Cas from the corner of his eye, rather than watching the rerun of his favorite Spanish soap opera.

Castiel was shifting restlessly, rolling his shoulders every now and then, as far from comfort as could possibly be. Although Cas was never one to complain, Dean didn’t like it. Didn’t like how all Cas seemed to get from humanity was that it was a pain, and how he was probably already associating it with only negative things.

Dean was practically burning with the need to make Cas feel better. To show him the  _good stuff_. And maybe to let him know that there was nothing wrong with complaining, or asking for things every once in a while. Above all, Dean wanted to give his closest friend physical comfort. And since he’d recently stopped lying to himself like he had for years, he knew exactly why that was. Why he craved being close to Cas. Why he longed to touch his friend, had been longing to do it for a long time now, even back when Castiel had still been an angel.

“You okay there, Cas? You kinda look like you’re in pain.” Dean found himself uttering the words without thinking them through.

Castiel lifted his head, his blue gaze meeting Dean’s, eyes warm, indicating that he appreciated Dean’s concern. “I’m fine… Just a little sore, I’m guessing that my tolerance for pain is fairly low because it’s still very new to me.”

“Yeah, I bet…” Dean mumbled, speculatively eyeing his friend.

If any time was the right time, it was tonight. It was just the two of them, and for once there were no pressing matters or younger brothers to interfere…

“You know… I can help you out with that, if you want. Make you feel a little better, help you  _relax_.”

The offer was out of Dean’s mouth before he could even contemplate whether or not he should keep it in. Cas squinted at him, his nose scrunching up in that adorable way it did whenever he was confused about something.

“I won’t hurt you… I’ll only make you feel good, promise.” Dean vowed, hoping it was enough to convince the former angel to trust him on this one.

There was still a mild frown on Cas’ forehead, but he nodded. “Alright… What do you need me to do?”

Dean huffed despite himself, because that was  _so_ Cas; always assuming that  _he_  was the one that needed to do something, not that others would voluntarily do something  _for_  him.

“All  _you_ gotta do is relax, alright?” Dean said as he got up from his bed and sat down on Castiel’s, so that he was positioned right behind his friend. “Close your eyes, Cas…”

Even though Castiel was with his back to Dean, Dean trusted that Castiel had followed his instructions, and he tentatively placed both his hands on top of Cas’ shoulders. Still cautious, Dean gently rubbed his fingers against Cas’ shoulder blades through the thin cotton of the shirt. As he traced large circles there, he heard how Cas heaved a sigh.

Dean smiled, moving his hands a bit so that he could also rub the back of Cas’ neck, thumbs dipping under the collar of Cas’ –technically Dean’s- shirt so that there was skin on skin contact. Another sigh from Cas, this time sounding more like a low humming noise.

“Yeah, that’s it… Just relax.” Dean murmured to encourage Castiel some more.

Cas shivered under Dean’s touch, but Dean doubted that it was the cold this time. God, this was  _awesome_. Being  _close_  to Cas.  _Touching_  Cas. Making Cas feel good. The vague smell of shampoo and soap radiating from the now human angel. The soft happy noises coming from Cas’ throat.

Dean’s hands went lower, fingers working on the knots in Castiel’s back, dancing along his spine as Cas instinctively arched into the warm touch that apparently he was craving as much as Dean had for years. They were closer than ever before, yet Dean wanted more,  _needed_  more. He leaned in, stopping when his lips were right at Castiel’s left ear.

“Is this good?” He asked, voice raw, his hands still working their magic on Castiel’s sore muscles, removing all the tension.

A jerky nod from Cas, followed by an actual  _whimper._  “ _Dean…_ ”

“Shit.” Dean cursed at the sound of it.

Taking a moment to collect himself, Dean’s hands stilled and he rested his chin on Castiel’s shoulder, briefly closing his eyes and inhaling deeply, the clean scent of soap invading Dean’s nose again.

“Look, Cas… I don’t know if I can control myself any longer.” Dean breathed his confession into Castiel’s neck, hands now loosely resting against Cas’ sides.

It was then that Castiel finally turned his head, bright blue eyes holding the hint of a smile in them, possibly for the first time since Castiel had lost his grace. Their noses were nearly touching, and Dean’s heart went in overdrive when Cas whispered two simple words.

“Then  _don’t_.”

There was barely any distance left between them, and when their lips met halfway, a strong hand cupping Dean’s jaw, Dean knew that everything was going to turn out alright. Not just for Cas, but for  _the both_  of them.


	60. Day 60

“I love you, Cas.”

Castiel nearly choked on his bite of peanut butter and jelly sandwich, his heartbeat going wild, his stomach suddenly deciding that it was no longer all that interested in food. He looked up at Dean, who must’ve sneaked up on him, because Castiel hadn’t heard him entering the bunker’s kitchen while he’d been busy eating breakfast and reading the newspaper.

Dean’s gaze was unrelenting as he sat down across from Castiel at the table, and Castiel felt a little nervous.

This was a first. Because of course, Castiel  _knew_. Knew that Dean loved him. Knew that Dean needed him around. He knew this because Dean could no longer sleep when Castiel wasn’t in his bed. Knew it by the way Dean kissed him whenever they’d been separated, even if only for an hour. Knew it by the way Dean took care of him in every way possible now that his grace was slowly fading. But Dean had never  _said_ it, had never said the three crucial words, even though Castiel had said them countless times already.

And so Castiel’s first thought was to interrogate Dean. To force him to talk about what had brought this on after all these months…

Until the look of pure adoration in Dean’s eyes stopped Castiel from doing whatever it was that he’d initially planned to do. That shade of green with a hint of gold displayed everything that Castiel needed to know. How would it be fair to question Dean for taking his time? In the end, it didn’t matter  _why,_  or  _how_. What truly mattered was that Dean was finally allowing  _himself_ to love. 

For now, that deserved a reward, not a round of pressing questions.

Castiel reached for Dean’s hand, smiling when Dean eagerly took it so that their fingers could intertwine.

“I know.” Castiel murmured, his thumb brushing Dean’s knuckles as their eyes stayed locked. “ _I love you too_.”


	61. Day 61

“Dean, I think I’m  _in love_.”

Dean nearly choked on his bacon, looking up from the newspaper he’d been reading. He stared at the fallen angel sitting across from him at the table. Cas was looking at him earnestly.

 _Awesome._  Dean no longer felt hungry. He’d always known that this day would come, but it hurt like hell nonetheless. Of course Cas would someday leave the bunker, go and live his own life now that he was human. Dean didn’t like it, couldn’t stand the thought of Cas loving anyone but him, but that was not a good enough reason to take away Cas’ happiness. Dean put on a brave face.

“Alright… So do I know her?” He asked, pretending to casually put away the newspaper.

Castiel looked almost offended at the question.

“Or not, if you don’t wanna share.” Dean muttered, defensively holding up a hand, feeling even worse because Cas apparently didn’t feel the need to share with him who the competition was.

With an exasperated sigh, Cas got up from his chair, walking around the table to invade Dean’s personal space. Then he dipped his head, tenderly kissing the corner of Dean’s mouth, with that banning every coherent thought from Dean’s brain. Blue eyes were clearly mocking him when Cas pulled away.

“You are an  _idiot,_  Dean Winchester.”


	62. Day 62

“ _It’s good_ , isn’t it, Cas?” Dean asked with a toothy grin, referring to the movie that they were currently watching.

The both of them were sitting on Dean’s bed, eyes on Dean’s laptop. Something was happening on the screen, and Dean threw his head back and laughed. It was a  _real_ laugh, rare as they were, coming from Dean. By now, Castiel knew Dean well enough to separate the real from the fake.

Castiel smiled and nodded, laughed along, even though he hadn’t been paying attention to whatever it was that he was supposed to be watching. Yet, he wasn’t laughing because he wanted to please Dean, or because he thought it was expected of him. He was laughing along because hearing Dean laugh like that made him want to laugh as well. Seeing Dean happy, made  _him_  happy.

He didn’t know why Dean had asked him to stay when he’d simply walked in to check if his friend was doing alright, but he found that he didn’t mind in the slightest.

Their backs were resting against the headboard, shoulders not quite touching. Eyes still fixed on the screen, Dean passed Castiel a bag of sweets.  _Gummy bears_ , Dean had called them. Castiel took one and popped it into his mouth, despite not really tasting it. All he could feel was the structure. Being an angel, the flavor was entirely wasted on him.

“ _They’re good_ , huh?” Dean asked, almost shyly glancing sideways at Castiel, a hint of a blush on his cheeks.

Again, Castiel nodded. “They’re quite amazing, Dean.”

It didn’t matter that Castiel didn’t see the appeal; watching Dean chew with delight was enough for him to fully appreciate the existence of these colored chunks of melted sugar.

It got later, and later. Dean’s eyelids were drooping, because as much of a miracle as Dean Winchester was, all human beings needed sleep. Castiel froze when the movie ended and the screen turned black. Dean’s head gradually dropped to his shoulder, and when Castiel shifted to get a better look at his best friend, Dean sleepily blinked up at him.

“Tired…” He slurred. “ _Sleeping feels good_ , doesn’t it?”

Castiel couldn’t hold back another smile when Dean’s head crashed back to his shoulder right away, tired green eyes falling shut without even waiting for Castiel’s reply. Wrapping his arms around Dean, Castiel held the man he loved close.

Angels didn’t require sleep, but as Dean sighed and his fingers were clinging to Castiel’s dress shirt, nose brushing Castiel’s collar bone as he mumbled something in his sleep… Castiel decided that sleeping was yet another wonderful human thing that he was grateful for.


	63. Day 63

“Cas? Where do angels go after they… I mean  _if_ they die?”

Castiel frowned as he dragged his eyes away from the television to look down at the human that was curled up against his side on the couch. They were supposed to be watching a movie here, in the bunker’s makeshift living room, but it seemed that Dean’s mind had been elsewhere. Troubled green eyes were staring up at Castiel, awaiting an answer.

Trying to think back to all the times he’d died, Castiel came up blank. He only remembered his final moments, and the ones right after all the times that he’d been resurrected.

“I… I’m not sure.” Castiel replied truthfully, his hand absently rubbing Dean’s shoulder. “I think we merely  _cease to exist_.”

Dean grimaced but didn’t say anything, his fingers restlessly fumbling with Castiel’s tie, which was already undone.

“Why do you ask? I’m more durable than you are, the chances of you outliving me are slim.” Castiel reminded him.

“That’s not why I’m asking…” Dean muttered, breaking eye contact. “I was just thinking, man. About  _Heaven_  and stuff. Humans don’t just cease to exist, you know. So I’d be  _there_  forever, but you  _won’t._ ”

Castiel sighed, slowly beginning to grasp where the conversation was heading.

Placing a single finger under Dean’s chin, Castiel forced him to look up again. “I’m an angel, Dean… I have access to Heaven, I’d be with you more often than not.”

“Not if we  _both_  die.” Dean breathed, his lower lip trembling. “I keep thinking about it… What if I’m stuck up there forever, huh?  _Without you_? That ain’t paradise, that’s like an eternity of  _misery_ for me.”

Idly running his hand through Dean’s hair, Castiel bought himself some time to come up with a good answer to that. Something to offer the man whom he loved more than the universe itself some reassurance. He was on the verge of giving up, when he suddenly recalled something. Something  _crucial_ , a reminder for the both of them.

Feeling his lips curl into a soft smile, Castiel pressed a kiss to Dean’s forehead, causing the human to melt even more into their embrace. They were going to be alright, Castiel was sure of it, and he told Dean as much.

“You mustn’t worry…” Castiel confidently whispered against Dean’s hair. “Have I ever  _not_ returned to you, Dean Winchester?”

Nothing more was said on the subject. They both knew the answer to  _that_ question.


	64. Day 64

“I love you.”

Dean feels pretty pleased with himself when he dares to say it to Cas for the very first time. Hell, come to think of it, it’s probably the first time he’s said those words to anyone _ever_.

They’re on Dean’s bed, cuddling. Just cuddling.

Castiel smiles at the admission, but he doesn’t look like Dean saying it is some kind of novelty.   
  
“I know… You’ve mentioned it before. I love you, Dean.”

_What?_

Dean frowns, going through memories, trying to find what it is that Cas is talking about. He comes up blank.

Cas seems to know, because yeah, Cas always knows.

“You said it when we were stuck in purgatory together and you wanted me to go home with you.” Castiel supplies. “And when I tried to hurt you because Naomi was controlling me…”

Dean replays the memories, painful as they are. He remembers. Every feeling, every word.

“But I never said…” Dean starts, then trails off.

Cas is simply watching him, patient as always, never pushing his limits. Willing to wait for Dean to catch up.

And then Dean gets it. Cas is right. He’s said it, many times. Hasn’t said the literal words, but has communicated them all the same. Cas being Cas, of course he’d been smart enough to pick up on it ages ago. Has known it way before Dean dared to say it out loud, therefore isn’t surprised.

Dean grins as he crawls closer to Cas, hiding his face against Cas’ chest to cover up his blush.

“You’re right.” He confesses against the fabric of Cas’ shirt. “I did.”


	65. Day 65

“Cas?” There was a brief silence before Dean also uttered a quiet  _“thank you.”_

Castiel was fighting to keep his eyes open, glancing at Dean who was looking at him from the driver’s seat, green eyes intense.

Sometimes it was so easy to be human, to use sleep to escape reality for a little while. They were driving back to the bunker after a case, but as far as Castiel could remember, there was no reason for Dean to praise him. In fact, if Dean hadn’t jumped in, Castiel probably would’ve ended up dead because of that Wendigo.

“For what?” Castiel mumbled, looking at Dean from the corner of his eye, still heavily resting his head against the cool window. “I hardly was of any help.”

Dean sighed, his hand reaching out, clearly inviting Castiel to take it.

Castiel sat a little straighter at that, tentatively taking the hand offered to him. As their fingers experimentally tangled together for the first time, Castiel wondered what had gotten into Dean; He’d never verbally or physically thanked Castiel for anything, had always just  _assumed._  The sound of the Impala’s engine was the only thing roaring through the silence, until Dean suddenly pulled over and put an end to that as well.

“I meant for  _everything_.” Dean whispered, voice barely audible, even in the deafening silence. “Everything you’ve done to get here… To get to  _me._ I never thanked you _.”_

Castiel shrugged. As if it were no big deal, losing  _everything_  for  _nothing_. Because yes, deep down he knew what he wanted in return, even more so now that he was human, but he would never ask for it. He would follow this human to hell and back regardless, so what difference would it make?

The silence stretched on, until Dean suddenly tugged at Castiel’s hand, throwing him off balance, so that he all but crashed into Dean’s shoulder. Dean simply smiled down at him, starting the engine again.

For the remainder of the drive, Castiel’s cheek was pressed against Dean’s shoulder instead of the cold unyielding glass. Dean’s free hand was playing with Castiel’s hair, and when Dean started to sing along to a song on the radio that spoke of love and happy endings, Castiel felt a tad crazy for  _almost_  letting himself believe.

When Castiel’s eyes started drooping, he could swear that there was a soft brush of lips against his temple. His last thought before he slipped into unconsciousness again was that maybe believing at this point wasn’t all that crazy…


	66. Day 66

It’s just a kiss. A simple kiss. Nothing fancy, just a touch of lips. Yet Cas uses every excuse he gets to press his lips against Dean’s skin.

Crossing paths with Dean in the bunker’s kitchen while getting some morning coffee? A gentle peck to Dean’s cheek.

Separating while on a hunt? A fleeting kiss, brushed against Dean’s temple.

Reuniting after several days of being apart? A firm, desperate kiss pressed right against Dean’s lips.

On their way back from yet another case, Dean driving the Impala… Castiel smiles as he takes Dean’s hand, placing a kiss against Dean’s knuckles.

“What was that for, huh?” Dean questions, the hint of a smirk on his lips.

He’s probably not only referring to this kiss, but all of the others that had taken place since the two of them had officially gotten together.

Castiel shrugs, like he knows humans do.

“Because I finally  _can,_  Dean.”

 


	67. Day 67

“Do you ever regret it, Cas? Saving me, I mean…”

Dean chances a look at Castiel who’s on the other side of the bed.  _Their bed_. The former angel is engrossed in a book, reading a few pages like he usually does before they either go to sleep or move on to  _other_ activities. Cas doesn’t look up from said book as he answers Dean.

“Which time?” He deadpans.

Dean groans; some things would never change, and secretly, he is thankful that human Cas is still the same Castiel he knows and, dare he use the word,  _loves_. He scoots closer to Cas, longing for some physical contact, resting his head against Cas’ shoulder and breathing in his clean scent.

“Aren’t you hilarious.” Dean grumbles indignantly, glaring up at Castiel who still isn’t looking at him, blue eyes darting across the pages of the book. “But yeah… I meant  _all of them_.”

Castiel laughs, the sound quiet yet incredulous. He puts the book down before draping his arm around Dean’s shoulder and pulling him in. He presses a light kiss to the top of Dean’s head before whispering into Dean’s hair.

“I’m not sure how this is even a question, but no, I don’t regret saving you, Dean.”

Two arms wrap themselves tightly around Dean, and Dean inhales deeply, Cas’ answer allowing him to breathe again. He nuzzles Castiel’s neck as he mockingly repeats Cas’ words. “Which time?”

Dean can’t see Cas’ face while in this position, but he knows Cas well enough to know that the fallen angel is smiling when he answers.

_“All of them.”_

 


	68. Day 68

After Castiel fell for good, Dean was more than willing to help his best friend learn to live without his grace. Secretly, he even  _enjoyed_  teaching Cas all of the mundane human stuff, showing the fallen angel how to adjust to his newfound humanity.

“I don’t know how to dress myself in a way that humans deem acceptable, Dean… I never had to before.” Castiel admitted the first time Dean took him shopping because Cas was going to need a wardrobe of his own from now on.

Dean could barely contain his excitement when instead of having to let Cas shop on his own, he was allowed to help pick out the clothes that he liked on the former angel. Needless to say, if he only picked the shirts that perfectly brought out Cas’ eyes, it was a total coincidence.  

“I don’t know how to prepare human food, Dean… I never had to before.” Castiel said one night when he shuffled into the bunker’s kitchen while Dean was making burgers for the three of them.

Dean immediately invited Cas to help him finish the burgers, and the day after that, he taught Cas how to make breakfast. From there on, Dean taught him something new to cook almost every other day. If Dean kept Cas close to him while doing so, putting a hand on Cas’ hips to guide him, or gently taking Castiel’s wrist to explain to him how something was done, it was a total coincidence.

“I don’t know how to fold laundry, Dean… I never had to before.” Castiel grumbled when Dean walked in on him wrestling with a shirt in the laundry room.

There was no way Dean could hold back his laughter as he saw the flustered look of concentration on Cas’ face, and the adorable way in which Cas wrinkled his nose. If Dean’s brain referred to Cas as ‘adorable’ at least three more times while Dean showed him how to  _properly_  fold the laundry, it was a total coincidence.

It was a Saturday night, around midnight, when Dean found Castiel in the library. The fallen angel was curled up in one of the comfortable armchairs, engrossed in a big, dusty book. As Dean watched him and felt the butterflies explode in his stomach, Dean knew that this time,  _he_  was the one who needed help. Blue eyes darted up at Dean when he closed the door behind him, and Dean smiled weakly.

“Is everything alright, Dean?” Cas questioned, considerate as always.

Dean nodded as he crossed the distance, tentatively sitting down on one of the arms of the huge leather chair. “Yeah, I’m good… I just need  _your help_  with something.”

“Of course,  _anything_.” Cas replied without hesitation, putting down his book. “Just tell me what you need.”

Dean took a deep breath, taking Cas’ hand in a sudden act of bravery, intertwining their fingers and never breaking eye contact.

“I don’t know how to handle falling in love with my best friend, Cas…” Dean whispered, his thumb absently caressing Cas’ knuckles as he quietly confessed his feelings. “I never had to before.”

Cas said nothing at first. Instead, he tugged at Dean’s hand to pull him into his lap, then took Dean’s face in both his hands, making Dean’s heart flail.

“Don’t worry, Dean…” He murmured as he softly, experimentally, kissed the very corner of Dean’s mouth. “ _I’ll teach you_.”


	69. Day 69

There are certain signs that make Dean Winchester  _suspect_ that he’s in love.

It’s the way his heart flutters restlessly whenever he and a now human Cas unexpectedly cross paths in the bunker.

It’s the warm feeling in his gut that he gets whenever Castiel smiles at him, blue eyes wide and genuine.

It’s his very soul, and how it starts singing with joy whenever Castiel simply says his name.  _Dean._  It somehow sounds so much better when Cas is the one saying it.  

However, there are  _other_  signs that let Dean know  _for sure_.

It’s how he doesn’t mind when Cas steals his mug of morning coffee with an innocent smile, even when he’s craving that caffeine himself.

It’s how he doesn’t feel annoyed when his favorite shirt suddenly goes missing, and he finds out days later that Cas has borrowed it without politely asking.

It’s how Dean grumpily strides into the kitchen one morning, ready to give Cas a piece of his mind because the fallen angel has used up all of the hot water in the shower yet again, leaving Dean cold and shivery.

He  _knows_ he’s in love when he feels all of his anger melt like fresh snow in the watery February sun as soon as Castiel greets him with a warm “Good morning, Dean”.

Dean’s scowl fades as he eyes Cas who’s sitting at the small kitchen table, all bed hair and doe eyes, reading the morning paper while munching on some pancakes. In the back of his mind, Dean just knows that Cas has already solved the daily crossword puzzle on page three, even though that’s  _Dean’s_  favorite thing to do. But not even this fuels Dean’s earlier fury, and that’s how he knows he’s a lost cause; love makes blind.

When Dean tentatively sits down beside Cas after pouring himself some coffee, Castiel blushes as he pushes the paper in Dean’s direction, pointing at the surprisingly still empty crossword puzzle.

“I saved this for you, Dean.”

Instead of sharing the crossword, Dean and Castiel share their first kiss. And their second, and their third. His lips turning up into a smile against Castiel’s, Dean decides that he could get used to being in love.


	70. Day 70

Dean collapsed on top of the shabby motel bed after a long yet successful hunt. On the other bed, Sammy was already fast asleep. That had been one nasty werewolf.

Five minutes passed. Then another five. Despite his exhaustion, sleep was avoiding Dean like the plague. Aside from the now slowly fading adrenaline, something else was to blame for Dean’s insomnia. Or rather;  _someone_  else. He sighed, reaching for his phone on the nightstand; he didn’t want to turn on the TV and risk waking up his brother.

He typed a short message, not expecting a direct reply because his favorite angel was probably busy.

_‘Heya Cas, we got rid of the werewolf. You doing okay?’_

Dean put the phone down, only to pick it up again when it buzzed quietly right away. Huh, nice.

_‘Hello Dean, I’m glad you and Sam succeeded, how are you?’_

Rolling onto his stomach and typing a reply, Dean found himself smiling at his phone.  _Pathetic_. What was he, a fifteen year old with a crush? Regardless, he texted back immediately.

_‘All good, just tired. You?’_

Cas’ next reply took a little longer, but Dean’s phone beeped soon enough.

_‘The same. Good but tired, as far as angels can get tired.’_

Dean smiled as he imagined Cas texting him, maybe from his old beat up car; Cas loved texting. Dean was about to reply, when another message came in. His heart flipped when he saw what it was; Cas was sending him a picture. Not just any picture, it was what the kids nowadays called a ‘selfie’. The angel looked tired indeed, but he’d made an effort to give Dean a lopsided smile.

Messed up hair, eyes tired but ever so blue… Shit, Cas was too cute for his own good, for  _Dean’s_ own good. It was unfair for anyone to look that adorable without trying. Not like Dean would ever admit it.

_‘You’re a dork, you know that? Get some rest.’_

A few minutes passed before another text arrived.

_‘I will, Dean. But can I have a picture in return first?’_

Dean groaned as he shifted, now resting on his side. They were two grown men, they shouldn’t be exchanging pictures like a couple of pining teenagers… He snapped a picture anyway, to humor Cas, even managing the hint of a smile. He didn’t think too much about it as he hit ‘send’. Another text came instantly.

_‘You look absolutely stunning. Sweet dreams, Dean.’_

Dean didn’t text back after that. And as much as he wanted to, he didn’t get any sleep that night either. He was too busy being in love. It was five in the morning when he caved, picking up his phone, sending a text way overdue before finally falling asleep.

_‘You’re not so bad yourself… I kinda miss you, Cas. See you soon?’_

When Dean woke up the next morning, he saw Cas’ response.

_‘Yes, Dean. Soon.’_

_Soon._  Dean liked the sound of that. He realized that the two of them had waited long enough. He sent Cas a picture of his half sleeping face with a grin and a thumbs up before heading for a morning shower.

He knew that Cas got the idea when Cas’ reply was a simple emoji.

_‘ <3’_


	71. Day 71

Castiel woke up feeling slightly disorientated. Nearly a year since he’d fallen, and being human could still get overwhelming at times. He blinked, squinting through heavy eyelids, taking in his surroundings. Crisp white curtains, a spacious bedroom, a soft breeze coming in through a large window that was partly open, sunlight peeking in. Not the bunker.

Smiling, Castiel suddenly recalled the day before, recognizing the honeymoon suite where he’d be staying for the weekend with his husband.  _Husband_. Just thinking the word made Castiel feel giddy. Rolling onto his side, he momentarily forgot how to breathe when he found that those soft green eyes that he loved were already observing him. Sharing a bed with this beautiful human being would never get old. So much had changed supposedly, yet everything was very much the same to Castiel. Making it official had been a huge step, but thankfully, everything still felt blissfully familiar.

“Good morning, Dean.” Castiel pleasantly murmured the words as he scooted closer to the warm body beside him, snuggling against Dean’s chest, warm skin touching warm skin under the silky sheets.

Dean’s lips twisted into a grin against Castiel’s temple, calloused fingers already tracing a lazy path down Castiel’s spine.

“Yeah… Good morning,  _Castiel Winchester_.”


	72. Day 72

“Hmm…” Dean happily hummed against Castiel’s lips as their kiss deepened.  
  
Yup, this was good. This was  _awesome_ , the two of them making out in the backseat of the Impala. Just perfect. Although in Dean’s opinion it could be even more perfect if Cas wouldn’t try to be so damn careful with him all the time. The thought had barely crossed his mind when Cas’ lips immediately became more bold against Dean’s, and then Cas even playfully bit his bottom lip, something he’d never done before.   
  
Ah,  _good_. Dean smiled into the kiss again. Now it was truly perfect. Except, it would be kinda amazing if Cas could play with Dean’s hair a little while they were locking lips…  
  
Dean gasped when as if on command, Cas’ fingers tangled themselves in the short hair at the back of Dean’s neck. With a huff, Dean pulled away, glaring at the angel who was obviously feigning innocence, big blue eyes trying to disarm Dean with a single look.  
  
“You were reading my mind again, weren’t you?” Dean accused, narrowing his eyes at the angel. “You promised you’d stop doing that.”  
  
Cas had the decency to look genuinely ashamed as he got called out on abusing his powers to stalk Dean’s thoughts.  
  
“I apologize, Dean. I merely got carried away because I wanted you to enjoy yourself.” Castiel muttered. “Are you angry?”  
  
Dean’s eyes held Cas’ as Dean pondered that question. They could either argue, or make out some more… Decisions, decisions. Smirking, Dean decided to send his angel a thought.  
  
 _‘Why don’t you kiss me if you wanna make it up to me, Cas.’_    
  
Cas’ lips were back on Dean’s before Dean could do as much as blink. Dean grumbled against Castiel’s mouth; the little shit was still doing it. But yeah, as long as it felt  _this_  good, Castiel was forgiven. 


	73. Day 73

Dean Winchester is afraid of pretty much nothing. Vengeful spirits, demons, witches, vampires, or werewolves; nowadays he doesn’t even bat an eyelash when encountering vicious angels of any sort. 

And so the sudden rush of fear that he feels on a rainy afternoon when Castiel kisses him for the very first time, the two of them locking lips in the middle of the bunker’s kitchen, is unexpected and overwhelming.  
  
Slowly pulling away, he recalls this new rule that they have between the two of them ever since Cas moved in:  _No more secrets, never again_. Which is why Dean quietly confesses.  
  
“I feel so much… I’m  _scared_ , Cas.” He shakily murmurs against the angel’s lips.   
  
Castiel, like Dean, is afraid of pretty much nothing. Being an ancient celestial being, he’s seen it all. Yet on that particular afternoon, he understands what Dean is saying, can feel it in his very grace. Love is exciting, yet terrifying, especially for people like them.   
  
Luckily, they both know how to be brave, and Castiel takes comfort in that. He presses another soft kiss against Dean’s lips, holding his friend’s face in both hands, assuring Dean that he is not alone.   
  
“Don’t be afraid, Dean… It’ll be fine.” He whispers as he smiles at the precious human who is his everything, deep down already knowing that they’re going to be alright. “I’m scared  _too._ ”


	74. Day 74

Dean had thought that it was kinda unnecessary when Cas had pulled out that shiny ring when they’d been cuddling in their now shared bed on a lazy Sunday morning. Silly even. Because yeah, they’d been to Hell, Purgatory, and back together; what was it that some lame human ceremony could possibly add to their ‘profound bond’, as the angel liked to call it.

Regardless, Dean had said yes. Because if it was important to Cas, then surely it had to be worth it. They were going to do this because Cas wanted it, not because Dean was so thrilled about getting married.

And yet, now that they were  _here_ , Dean was starting to change his mind. It was small, intimate. There was Sam, and Claire, and Donna, and Jody with Alex, all of them smiling as the vows were exchanged. Their suits weren’t too fancy but neat enough, Cas wearing a blue tie, Dean wearing a green one.

Whereas before Dean didn’t understand, he could get it now. Could  _feel_  it, actually. He felt it as Cas said his vows. Felt it as the angel put the ring made of white gold, simple yet delicate, on Dean’s finger for the first time. Felt it when their lips touched, and their witnesses started cheering.

He most certainly felt it when Castiel mumbled  _“I love you”_  against his lips.

But Dean truly,  _truly_ understood what this added when he softly whispered back “I love you too,  _Mister Winchester_.”


	75. Day 75

Dean was panting loudly, trying to catch his breath. Sweat was dripping down his face, and a quiet whimper escaped his mouth. Castiel was on top of him, pretty much in the same state as Dean, breathless and sweaty.

“Son of a bitch.” Dean cursed out loud as he stared up into his best friend’s eyes. “Those demons were…” He paused, taking in another deep breath.

“Particularly aggressive?” Castiel filled in the blank for him.

Dean nodded. “Yeah, that’s what I was going for. Jeez Cas, if you hadn’t stabbed him and pushed me out of the way… You saved my life.”

The angel shrugged in that  _it’s-no-big-deal_  kind of way of his. “I did.”

There was a lengthy silence, only their heavy breathing filling the room.

“Cas?”

“Yes, Dean?”

“You’re still kinda sitting on top of me.”

Castiel shifted a little, but didn’t move away, the ghost of a smile playing around his lips before he leaned in to press a single suggestive, open-mouthed kiss against Dean’s jaw. “You don’t seem to mind all that much.”

Dean huffed out a frustrated groan as he glanced around the dusky warehouse. “Really, dude? Now?  _Here?_ We were kicking demon ass less than a minute ago!”

Blue eyes that looked all too innocent were peeking up at Dean from under dark lashes. “The demons are dead… And may I remind you who it was suggesting we’d have intercourse that time when we were held captive in a basement by that coven of witches?”

Dean glowered at Cas for several long seconds, then realized that this was an argument that he didn’t necessarily want to win. His fingers wrapped themselves around Castiel’s tie, pulling the angel closer so that their lips could properly meet.

“Alright then…” Dean complied, smirking against Cas’ mouth. “ _Bring it on_ , angel.”


	76. Day 76

“You’re doing it again, aren’t you?”

The halfhearted accusation hangs in the air as Dean mockingly rolls his eyes at Castiel. The former angel is already half asleep, eyelids drooping. They’re in Dean’s bed, and Cas is using Dean’s chest as his personal pillow, his ear pressed directly over Dean’s heart.

Dean is used to it by now. Sometimes he catches Cas counting the beats. Other times, like tonight, Castiel is quietly enjoying the steady rhythm of Dean’s heart pumping the blood through his veins.

“You’re making fun of me.” Castiel mutters, the words somewhat muffled by the fabric of Dean’s shirt.

“Am not.” Dean argues. “I just don’t get what’s so fascinating about my heartbeat… In case you didn’t know, all humans have one.”

“It helps me sleep.” Castiel answers, then stifles a yawn, blue eyes slowly closing again. “It means that you’re alive… It means that you’re breathing… It means that you’re  _here_.”

Several breaths later, and Castiel is out like a light. Dean tries to sleep as well, but his curiosity keeps him awake. He shifts in Cas’ arms, careful not to wake him. He gently rearranges the both of them, until he can press his cheek against Castiel’s chest.

Immediately, Dean hears it. The slow and steady  _thump, thump, thump_.

 _Thump_. Cas is alive. Human now, but alive.

 _Thump._  Cas is breathing, like a healthy human should.

 _Thump._  Cas is  _here,_  with Dean, safe in Dean’s arms.

It’s oddly soothing, silly as it seemed before.

“This is nice.” Dean mumbles when his eyes start to get heavy, even though he knows Cas can’t hear him.

With a pleased smile, he falls asleep to the lullaby that is Cas’ heartbeat. He gets it now.


	77. Day 77

On an ordinary Thursday, September 18th, a gentle brush of lips to the forehead was what woke Castiel up. It was followed by a soft kiss to his left cheek bone, then an innocent peck to his slightly parted lips.

“Happy birthday, Cas.”

As Dean murmured the words into his ear, the fallen angel decided that he already liked this human tradition. Because even though Dean had pestered him for ages about this, telling him that he should pick a date now that he was human, Castiel hadn’t truly seen the appeal, not until now. This was the day they’d be celebrating his first birthday as a human, ridiculous as that seemed, considering that Castiel was technically older than the earth itself.

“Wake up, baby.” Dean was playfully poking his side now, urging Castiel to open his eyes.                        

With a tiny sound of protest, Castiel blinked, staring up into two green eyes that were sparkling with excitement. Dean was beaming at him, brushing the back of his hand against Castiel’s cheek, then running his fingers through Castiel’s hair. Although sleeping was rather nice, this was definitely  _better_.

“Morning.” Dean mumbled when Castiel’s hands found his waist and pulled him closer, so that they were nose to nose, chest to chest.

“Good morning, Dean.” Castiel whispered against Dean’s lips. “I think I’m already enjoying having a birthday.”

Dean chuckled, then kissed Castiel, sweet and slow. As their lips moved together, a feeling of true bliss made Castiel’s head swim, his spine tingling pleasantly.

They didn’t stop until they were both breathless, trading smirks as they gave in to their need for oxygen. They were sharing Dean’s pillow, their noses still nearly touching, holding hands on top of the sheets.

“So, you never told me… Why did you pick this date?” Dean asked after a while, his tone conversational.

Castiel smiled but said nothing, pressing another small kiss to Dean’s lips, causing Dean to arch his eyebrows in that way that told Castiel that he wouldn’t drop the subject until he had a proper answer. This once, Castiel figured that he could humor the man he loved most.

“Because… this date may not be the day when I was born…” Castiel breathed against Dean’s lips, pausing briefly to kiss the corner of his mouth. “But it  _is_  the date when I found a reason to truly start  _living_.”


	78. Day 78

The first time Dean truly gave in to his feelings for Castiel, he even took himself by surprise. Here they were, sand between their toes, the only sounds coming from the waves crashing on the shore, and maybe a stray seagull here and there.

The sun was bright, and the view was  _amazing_. Regardless, Dean found that the sea failed to hold his attention, mainly because there was a huge distraction in the form of a certain fallen angel. Dean glanced to his right, where his best friend was sitting cross legged on a big blue towel, engrossed in the book that he’d brought along on their little vacation.

It was a good thing that Sam had left a couple of minutes ago in search of some ice cream, because if he’d caught Dean staring at Castiel like that,  _again,_  he for sure would have given Dean that smug look that Dean usually couldn’t stand.

As it was, Dean chuckled freely when his gaze fell on the white smear of sun screen that was clinging to the very tip of Cas’ nose. Not to mention the ugly black-and-yellow swim trunks that were a little too large on him, and the uncombed hair that was sticking out in all directions because the wind was playing with it. So yeah, Cas still had a lot to learn about being human, but hell if this wasn’t the most adorable thing that Dean had ever witnessed.

“You’re staring at me.” Castiel bluntly pointed out without looking up from his book.

 _Busted._  Caught in the act. Yet this right there, was the moment Dean knew that something had to give. Normally, he would’ve tried to come up with a joke to dismiss Cas’ accusation, or he would’ve flat out denied everything. But not today. He didn’t know why, or how, but he decided that he’d waited long enough, and that it was time for a change.

“Yeah, I am… You know me, that’s what I do when I see something I  _like_.” Dean responded simply, not regretting it in the slightest once the words were out.

Obviously taken by surprise, Castiel put his book aside, his eyes finding Dean’s. They silently stared at each other; common territory for the both of them.

Eventually, Dean broke the silence.

“You have a little something here.” He mumbled, allowing one of his fingers to brush along the tip of Castiel’s nose, rubbing it clean, then teasingly tapping Castiel’s nose.

Castiel laughed quietly, blue eyes twinkling, his smile warmer than the sun that was currently shining down on them.

The kiss that followed soon after, a playful meeting of lips that was still a bit uncoordinated, wasn’t all that surprising to Dean. Deep down, he’d probably always known where things were going to head between him and Cas as soon as Dean was ready to  _let_  them go there.

Sam didn’t sound all that surprised either when he pointedly cleared his throat from behind them, holding up two ice cream cones, a knowing smile on his face as he watched them abruptly pull out of the kiss with burning cheeks so that they could accept their snacks.

Dean didn’t doubt that this vacation was going to be  _awesome._


	79. Day 79

A lot of the time, sleep wasn’t Dean’s friend. Sure, he needed his four hours,  _technically_. But falling asleep wasn’t always that simple; not when dealing with a brain that refused to shut up, or when being restless after getting home from a tricky hunt, or at the prospect of being plagued by nightmares once again.

Which is why Dean often stayed up. Stayed up until his eyes were burning, and until he eventually didn’t have the strength to keep them open any longer.

Sometimes he would fall asleep in the bunker’s library, the pages of an old book sticking to his forehead when he woke up hours later, traces of ink painting his skin. Other times he would doze off in the kitchen while having some coffee and doing some research on his laptop late at night, his cheek uncomfortably pressed to the keyboard.

Sam would usually find him and wake him up, that concerned look on his face, and Dean would always assure his younger brother that he was doing fine.  _Just fine_. And he was; as fine as he would ever be in this messed up life. The only downside was the way his back was hurting whenever he woke up in one of those positions, all of his muscles aching severely.

But somehow, to Dean’s pleasant surprise, things were  _changing_  lately, and for the better.

One time Dean could swear he’d fallen asleep while having a whiskey and reading a book in the library around midnight, but instead of waking up with his face pressed against the solid wooden table, he’d woken up to the comfort of his memory foam mattress. No headache, no aching back.

Another time he was sure he’d passed out in the war room while studying an old box of objects that he’d found in the bunker earlier that day, but when he woke up, it was in his own bed, enveloped by heavenly warmth.

It vaguely reminded him of when he was a little kid, when he’d fall asleep on the couch, then mysteriously woke up in his room because one of his parents had carried him there. That didn’t explain any of this though, and Dean was starting to worry, wondering if maybe something weird was going on at the bunker. He was planning on asking Cas; the angel had moved in a couple of weeks ago, and if anything sketchy was going on, surely Castiel would be able to sense it.

Currently, Dean was hanging on the worn out couch in the bunker’s makeshift living room, eyes getting heavier and heavier, his brain no longer keeping up with the movie that he’d been trying to watch. He was fighting to stay awake, but predictably lost the fight.

Nevertheless, his body was struggling, and when he forced his eyes open just the tiniest bit, he realized that he was no longer on the couch facing the TV. Strong arms were holding him, carrying him. Blue eyes were meeting his as he was lowered onto the bed that he knew so well.

Dean gasped at the unexpected sight of his best friend. “Cas?”

Castiel frowned, almost looking as if he’d been caught in the middle of a terrible crime. “You should sleep, Dean.” Was all he said as he pulled the covers over Dean.

There was so much more that Dean wanted to ask, that he needed to say, but his tired body wouldn’t let him. The only thing that came out was another whisper of “Cas…” followed by “ _stay_.”

Dean grabbed Castiel’s sleeve, using his last bit of energy to do so. 

Apparently it was enough, for when his eyes slipped closed again, strong arms were holding him like they had before. The warmth of Cas’ body was pressed against Dean’s back, gentle fingers soothingly running through Dean’s hair. Not even the fact that he ended up being the little spoon stopped Dean from effortlessly slipping into a deep, peaceful sleep.

And who could blame him? Come to think of it, sleeping was actually not all bad…


	80. Day 80

“Why do you keep complaining about going to your sister’s wedding anyway? I mean, free booze, free food… Doesn’t sound too bad, dude.” Dean argued as he handed Cas the bowl of popcorn.

Castiel knew that perhaps he’d been a bit overdramatic just now, and that maybe it was time to stop whining about this particular subject to his roommate. But that was easier said than done. It didn’t help that Dean was the kind of friend that was extremely patient, always willing to listen to all of Castiel’s rants, even when he’d already heard them numerous times.

“Look, I’m sorry for endlessly bothering you with this, Dean.” Castiel apologized, his eyes flickering to the television, to the football game that Dean had insisted on watching. “It’s just that I already know that my parents and my siblings will be grilling me, they always do at every family gathering.”

Dean shrugged. “Yeah well, it means they care about you. That’s a good thing right?”

With an exasperated sigh, Castiel put the bowl of popcorn down on the coffee table. “I would believe that if they’d ask me about my friends, or about how college is going… But all they’ll be doing is giving me their pitiful stares after they’ve asked me why I am still not seeing someone.”

There was a noisy snort from Dean, and when Castiel turned to look at his roommate, mischievous green eyes were looking back at him from under dark lashes. And oh god, as much as Castiel loved those eyes, he didn’t like the way his friend was currently scrutinizing him.

“What’s so funny, Dean?” He demanded, scowling at Dean, ignoring how his heart flipped whenever Dean’s focus was on him like this.

“Nothing.” Dean answered in an oddly nonchalant tone, eyes still sparkling with something that Castiel couldn’t quite label. “Was just thinking that they kinda have a point there… You’re way  _too cute_  to be single.”

Castiel thanked the heavens above that he hadn’t been chewing on any popcorn during Dean’s unexpected admission, because he most likely would’ve choked on his food. Nonetheless, the real question was; was Dean teasing him, or making a move?

“Then  _date me.”_

Castiel didn’t know what had possessed him to blurt out those words to his gorgeous roommate. He clasped a hand over his mouth when he realized his error, but Dean didn’t look offended in the slightest. In fact, he leaned in, then pecked Castiel right on the lips without another word.

When Dean pulled back, he was wearing the brightest smile that Castiel had ever seen from him.

“Date you, huh?” He casually repeated Castiel’s comeback. “If you  _insist_ , Cas.”

Their second kiss was less rushed, and certainly less innocent. Castiel doubted he would have any trouble dealing with his siblings when they interrogated him at Anna’s wedding this weekend.


	81. Day 81

Dean had always expected that it would be a big deal, their first kiss. Because yeah, he had imagined it. Had even kind of anticipated it, if the way they’d been dancing around each other for literally years was anything to go by.

Therefore, the shocking part was that it turned out to not be a big deal at all. On the contrary; it came so naturally that Dean didn’t even realize it until after it happened. It was the same old ritual: them saying goodbye after a short briefing at a smelly motel. There was always something or someone to save, and somehow it often ended in Dean and Cas splitting up, if only temporarily.

“Please be careful, Dean.” Cas was saying the words so earnestly, blue eyes intense, as if Dean hadn’t already survived hell, purgatory, and more than one almost-apocalypse.

“Always am.” Dean mumbled back dismissively, the cool morning air making him shiver a bit as they said their goodbyes in the motel’s foggy parking lot. “You be careful too, okay?”

“Good… And I will.” Was all Castiel gave him in return before he cautiously leaned in to lightly kiss Dean on the cheek.

At first, Dean didn’t know what to make of the gesture. A kiss like this, even on the cheek, seemed to be far too intimate to be common for a goodbye between two buddies. And so Dean decided to take a chance. Before Cas could turn away and head for his car, Dean placed a firm hand on the angel’s shoulder, returning the favor by kissing Castiel right on the lips. Those lips were blissfully warm and smooth against Dean’s, and Dean didn’t regret any of it, because miraculously, it wasn’t weird or forced. It was simply something that had been inevitable since the day they’d first met; something meant to happen at some point.

Cas blushed, and Dean was sure that his own face was flustered as well, but he couldn’t find it in him to care.

“I’ll see you soon?” Cas asked, the same as he always would whenever the two of them were forced to say goodbye.

“Soon.” Dean replied hopefully, just like he always did.

As Cas drove off, Dean knew that even though everything had changed, at the same time nothing had changed. It was a pretty good feeling, and he smiled broadly while he watched Cas’ old beat up car until he could no longer see it.


	82. Day 82

Castiel likes counting the stars in the sky, even though he already knows exactly how many there are. He enjoys watching them, even though he’s  _human_  now, fallen so far that it scares him at times. No matter what, he could never forget the many constellations that he’d witnessed being born.

“Cas? You okay? You’re zoning out on me.”

The sound of Dean Winchester’s voice brings him back. Brings him back to where he currently is. Brings him back to _who_  he is, for now. A fragile human, bound to planet earth. Yet as he shifts, turning his head to look at Dean, instead of gazing at the night sky that they’d both been quietly observing from the Impala’s hood, he doesn’t regret any of his choices.

Dean’s face reminds Castiel of the celestial being that he once  _was_. He likes counting the freckles on Dean’s skin in the moonlight, even though he already knows exactly how many there are. He doesn’t even feel a little sorry about what he’d done years ago; he refuses to feel bad about the way he’d adjusted those freckles ever so slightly when he’d put Dean back together after saving him from hell.

Aforementioned freckles now resemble the constellations that Castiel knows he will forever hold dear. Sometimes, things change, but perhaps for the better. Dean is his universe now, and as they kiss under the light of countless stars, Castiel has no regrets.


	83. Day 83

_It’s cool, it’s fine, he’s not gonna suspect anything. No reason to freak out._

As the three of them made their way back to the Impala in companionable silence, Dean was frantically repeating that sentence in his head like some sort of mantra. Sam was giving him a look that was kinda odd, but he’d probably just picked up on Dean’s nervous behavior. It couldn’t possibly be about  _that other thing_.

After all, there was nothing new about Cas and Dean sharing a motel room; ever since Cas had lost his wings, they usually took turns when it came to sharing rooms. At times Sam would share with Cas, sometimes Dean and Sam would share like they usually would, and other times, like last night, Dean shared a room with Cas. Nothing out of the ordinary.

But then of-freaking-course there was  _Cas_ , a radiant smile permanently plastered on the fallen angel’s face, as if he’d just won the lottery.

Flattering as that was, Dean couldn’t help but roll his eyes at it. Could Cas be any more obvious? He might as well have put a neon sign over his head spelling “ _Dean and I are together now_ ”.

And yeah, they were planning on telling Sam, but they had decided to wait until it was ‘the right time’. If you asked Dean, minutes before a nine hour drive back to the bunker, with no chance to escape Sam’s teasing or his smug  _‘I knew it’_  face, was definitely  _not_ the right time. They’d tell him tomorrow. Or maybe the day after tomorrow. Possibly next week. Not now.

Seeing as Sam and Castiel always took turns riding shot gun, it was Sam who disappeared into the backseat today, and it was Cas who was sitting right beside Dean. Dean both loved and cursed that blissed out look on Cas’ face. Loved it because it was glorious, and because it was Dean who had put that look there. Hated it because, again; way too obvious.

Ten minutes of driving, and Dean’s fingers were already itching to take Castiel’s hand. He resisted. It was going to be a long drive.

They’d been driving for about an hour when Sam suddenly cleared his throat.

“Hey Dean?”

“Yeah… What’s up, Sammy?” Dean made eye contact with his younger brother via the rearview mirror, mildly worried, because Sam’s amused tone indicated that the younger Winchester was up to no good.

Sam smirked, then nonchalantly declared “Nothing… Just wanted to share that the walls back at that motel were a lot  _thinner_  than I would’ve expected.”

Even as Dean was busy choking on his own tongue, he also spotted the scarlet blush on Cas’ face from the corner of his eye, blue eyes filled with shock.

For the remainder of the journey, Dean was stuck with Sam’s  _‘I knew it'_ face. Lucky for Dean, Cas’ hand, now freely holding Dean’s, more than made up for it.


	84. Day 84

Somehow, everything always seemed to be significantly different at three in the morning. Dean couldn’t sleep, and he honestly didn’t feel like analyzing any of the reasons behind his insomnia, but seeing as he was bored out of his mind, he did  _exactly that_.

Maybe it was his back, aching severely after a too long drive. Perhaps it was the warm weather, causing the sheets to be uncomfortably warm, even though sleeping without sheets wasn’t such a great option either. Or this crappy motel bed could be to blame; it would never be able to compete with Dean’s bed back at the bunker.

Yeah…

Who was he kidding? None of these factors were to blame here, not really. As always, it was Dean’s brooding keeping him awake, his brain torturing him with endless strings of thoughts. Currently, a prominently present thought haunting him was something that his mother used to tell him, back when he was a kid.

_‘Angels are watching over you’._

In the dark, Dean cringed at the various memories that he had of her speaking those five words. She’d been right, of course, but as it was, that poetic phrase only made Dean feel guilty. The room was quiet, too quiet. The soft snoring noise coming from Dean’s left couldn’t possibly be blocked out.

When he finally allowed himself to glance sideways at Cas, sleeping beside him, hair messy and brow furrowed, he felt even more defeated than he had before. Because there he was, Dean’s angel, the one who’d been watching over him for  _years_ … Human and powerless now, all because of Dean.

Dean felt like his guilt was going to consume him at any second; there was no way he could ever make this up to Castiel, even if he lived to be a hundred years. The only thing that he at last managed to utter in the dark, was a broken “ _I’m sorry_ , Cas.”

Castiel chose that precise moment to mumble something unintelligible in his sleep. Dean held his breath. And then Cas rolled closer to him, making himself at home against Dean’s body, resting his head against Dean’s chest with a sigh of relief.

Three more slurred words were breathed by Cas, who was still sleep talking. “Love…. you… Dean…”

Dean’s very soul seemed to sing at those words, but Dean being Dean, not even  _this_  would probably be enough to ever free him from his guilt completely; the undeniable fact that this angel  _loved_  him, and voluntarily wanted to be human with him.

Regardless, it did help a little, and Dean almost smiled as he firmly wrapped his arms around Cas.

“Guess we’ll take turns watching over each other from now on then, huh buddy?”

The only answer he got from Cas was a particularly loud snore. Dean took it as a ‘yes’.


	85. Day 85

Cas had to be doing it on purpose, Dean was sure of it.

Ignoring his research, Dean discreetly peeked at Cas over his laptop. The angel was sitting across from Dean at the only table that the motel room had to offer, nose buried in some ancient book about demons, while delicate fingers absently played with a loosened blue tie.

Whenever Sam so much as stepped out of the room, like he’d done five minutes ago to get some food,  _this shit_  happened; Dean not being able to control himself once his brother was out of sight.  

Now that no one was watching, Dean took his chance to check out his oblivious best friend. There it was, the endearing furrow between Cas’ brow as he concentrated on whatever it was that he was reading, his nose scrunched up in that way that was totally  _not_  adorable. Dark lashes were brushing against prominent cheekbones, and every once in a while, a pink tongue would dart out to trace along plush, chapped lips. The weather was warm, and the rays of sunlight sneaking in through the tiny window touched Cas’ eyes in a way that nearly made them glow.

Worse than all of the above put together, there was the absolutely  _scandalous_  fact that the angel had gotten rid of his coats like a human would on a sunny day such as this one, the sleeves of his dress shirt rolled up, showing a lot more skin than Dean was used to.

Dean wistfully sighed under his breath, biting his lip to keep the sound from slipping out. Cas was a freaking angel… He’d never want Dean like  _that_.

Castiel was idly running his long fingers through his already messy hair now, apparently deep in thought.

Despite his earlier assumptions, Dean knew better. There was no way that Cas, his nerdy little angel, was doing any of this on purpose. And yet, Dean couldn’t tear his eyes away.

His heart performed a rather impressive somersault when the angel suddenly looked up, lifting a single eyebrow at Dean as if daring him to say something. Dean dropped his gaze in shame, feeling his cheeks tingle as he glassily stared at the screen of his laptop.  

“Dean?” The earnest way in which Castiel said his name gave Dean the chills, but not necessarily in a bad way.

“Yeah, Cas?” He muttered, making sure to not look up and meet Cas’ eyes, already fearing whatever came next.

Two seconds of silence. Dean mentally punished himself for not being a stronger man and keeping his crush to himself.

“What you’re doing is very distracting.” Castiel responded matter-of-factly as he pushed his book aside, as if he hadn’t just caught Dean red-handed. “It would be very helpful if you made up your mind… Are you going to keep  _staring_  at me like this, or are you finally going to _kiss me_?”

Blue eyes blinked at Dean, the innocence in them clearly an illusion.

Dean Winchester learned three things that day.

 _One:_  His feelings were returned.  _Two:_  Castiel was a great kisser.  _Three:_  That little shit had definitelydone  _all of it_  on purpose.


	86. Day 86

Castiel remembered the crucial parts of every prayer that Dean Winchester had ever sent to him. There wasn’t a single plea that he’d erased from his memory over the past eight years.

He still knew all of these one-sided private conversations by heart, and looking back now, it wasn’t difficult to observe how everything had slowly but surely changed.

Castiel allowed his mind to wander to one of Dean’s first prayers to him. It had started with “Castiel” and ended with  _“I need something”._

Businesslike, clinical. Like their relationship had been.

One year later, and the tone of Dean’s prayers had already changed. Castiel recalled a prayer from back then that had started with “Hey Cas?” and ended with  _“I think I need your help”._

Dean had shown him some genuine politeness, and that had been the start of something new.

As years went by, a more drastic change took place. Castiel thought back to Dean’s prayers from a year or so ago. Prayers that had started with “Cas, please” and ended with  _“I need you here”._

Dean had no longer needed something, he’d needed  _someone._ And to Castiel’s amazement, that someone had been  _Castiel._

Out of the blue, Castiel was distracted from his trip down memory lane when Dean mumbled something in his sleep. He scooted closer to Castiel, hands clinging to Castiel’s shirt, so that their bodies were entangled on top of the covers of Dean’s bed.

Castiel smiled fondly as he held Dean tight and kissed the top of his head, replaying Dean’s latest prayer in his mind; the prayer that Dean had shared less than three hours ago. The prayer that would forever be Castiel’s  _favorite._   

Because how could it not be, when it had started with “Cas, can you come over so we can talk?” and had ended with “ _I think I’m in love with you”._


	87. Day 87

“I’ll eh… I’ll go with Cas.” Dean had been quick to offer when Sam had suggested splitting up to work through their long list of suspects.

He’d nonchalantly tossed the Impala’s keys to his younger brother as if it was no big deal, and although Castiel had looked extremely surprised, Dean hadn’t missed the way blue eyes were instantly lighting up at that suggestion.

Sam had shrugged as he’d handed them a list with five addresses on it, and Dean had chosen to ignore the knowing smirk that his brother had flashed him before they went their separate ways.

So perhaps Cas wasn’t likely to receive any awards for world’s best driver, and his old Continental was nothing but a monstrosity on four wheels. The ancient radio was playing awful country songs, and in any other situation, Dean would’ve commented on it for sure. The weather was warm, and even with the windows rolled down, Dean felt like he was about to literally melt.

And yet, when he glanced sideways at Cas, he knew that there was no place else he’d rather be. Cas who looked a little tired, but at ease; he appeared to be on the same page as Dean, simply happy to be here, even though  _here_  wasn’t exactly paradise.  

And Dean couldn’t stop sneaking glances at him every ten seconds or so, smiling to himself whenever he found that Cas’ crooked smile still hadn’t vanished either. He kept that up until Cas caught him in the act, meeting Dean’s gaze with a curious stare of his own, taking Dean’s breath away.

Being in love with your best friend was both exciting and exhausting, that much Dean had learned.

“What’s on your mind, Dean?” Cas asked, his tone calm and pleasant, letting Dean know that it was an invitation to talk, but by no means a command.

“ _You_.” Dean blurted out his answer without thinking, cursing his big mouth right after, horrified at what he’d just confessed in some wave of temporary insanity.

Dean wished he could blame the heat.

Cas said nothing, his eyes on the road again, his face not giving away much.

When the angel didn’t speak up period, Dean got anxious, and attempted small talk in the hopes of making the moment less awkward.

“So uh… Something on  _your mind_ , Cas?”

At that, Cas’ lips slowly quirked up into a gentle half-smile, much like the smile that had been there before.

“Yes…” Castiel replied quietly, out of the blue reaching for Dean’s hand, all but giving Dean a heart attack when their fingers intertwined effortlessly for the first time ever while terrible music played in the background. “You.  _Always you.”_


	88. Day 88

_‘When Castiel first laid a hand on you in Hell, he was lost!’_

Those words, although outdated and spoken years ago, will never fail to make Dean feel guilty. Guilty, selfish, and worthless. He grimaces as he’s randomly reminded of them when he glances at Cas, who is sitting at the bunker’s kitchen table, using Sam’s laptop to do some research while sipping his morning coffee. Black, no sugar.

Nowadays, Cas looks so human, so  _normal_. Yet, Castiel always turns down whatever food Dean offers him, because he’s still an angel, no matter how far Dean has made him fall. A celestial being forever caught in the middle, because of Dean.

As if on cue, Dean is reminded of another accusation that had been hurled at him years ago.

_‘Castiel? He’s not here… You see he has this weakness, he likes you.’_

Dean swallows as he stares down at his plate of pancakes. It had been his plan to join Cas and eat his breakfast in peace, but he’s no longer all that hungry.

It’s then that Cas looks up, smiling wistfully at him, gesturing for Dean to come closer. Dean obeys, already knowing that he’s in trouble. Cas somehow always knows what he’s thinking; the downside of having an angel for a boyfriend is that angels can read minds.

When Castiel gently pulls Dean into his lap, Dean is confused at first. His confusion soon fades when strong arms hold him, and when soft lips reverently explore his face.

“You were never my  _weakness,_  Dean. You’ve always been my  _strength_. You’re my reason to keep going, my reason to be  _better_ , and that is what matters.” Cas eventually whispers into Dean’s hair, Dean’s face pressed against the angel’s shoulder as Cas soothes his worries. “When I first laid a hand on you in Hell, I wasn’t lost… I was  _found_.”


	89. Day 89

The low rumbling sound of the Impala’s engine is the first thing that Castiel recognizes when he wakes up. He blinks, heavy eyelids opening, his head throbbing painfully. His cheek is pressed against cold glass, uncomfortably so. The Impala’s backseat; that’s where he currently is. When gazing out of the window, Castiel finds that it’s dark outside, the stars and moon hidden behind a thick layer of clouds. Staring at the passing houses and trees, Castiel shifts against the leather.

Gradually, his memories return, and Castiel feels annoyed above all else. During hunts that involve witches, it’s rather inconvenient to no longer run on full power. Granted, these days, Castiel feels more human than angel most of the time, even with his remaining grace. Still, it stings whenever he’s harshly reminded of the fact that he’s no longer all that invincible.

Rubbing his temple, Castiel shifts again, feeling sore. Sore, but thankfully already healing.

It’s then that his ears register the conversation that Dean and Sam Winchester are having in the front.

“… gotta give it to you man, took you less than ten seconds to put that witch down, has to be a record, even for you.” Sam is the one speaking, praising Dean for ending the witch.

At least the hunt had been successful then, Castiel is pleased to find out that it hadn’t all been for nothing.

“Yeah well…” Dean starts to answer his brother, voice gruff. “She shouldn’t have freaking touched my angel.”

Castiel freezes, holding his breath. There’s a noisy snort from Sam.

A warm, euphoric sensation spreads itself through Castiel’s very grace as he realizes what Dean just said.

“ _Your angel_ , huh?” The younger Winchester teases his older brother.

A displeased grunt from Dean.

“Shut it, Sammy. You know what I mean.”

“Actually, yes.” Is Sam’s nonchalant response. “I think I do, Dean.”

The silence that follows from Dean’s side says enough, enough for Castiel to understand. Dean is not even defending himself, and Castiel likes it.

As he drifts off to sleep again, Castiel feels less terrible about failing. Feels less terrible about being a little less durable, knowing that no matter what, Dean will  _always_  see him the same way.


	90. Day 90

“I need you…”

Dean held his breath, and it was almost as if everything simply stopped; time, the universe, Dean’s heartbeat. The words were familiar, because Dean himself had said them more times than he could count. He’d always felt pathetic when speaking them of course, because to Dean they resembled weakness _._  Those words meant that he was counting on someone else to keep him safe and sane, and that was never a good sign in Dean’s book.

Coming from Dean, those words meant that he wasn’t good enough, wasn’t strong enough. Or, that’s what he’d always believed.

However this time, those exact same words were special. Because this time, it was  _Cas_ saying them, for the very first time.

Coming from Cas, those same words were a sign of love, a sign of dedication, a sign of _forever_.

Dean had waited five long years for Castiel to say them back, and hearing them was like coming home, even though Cas was casually saying them while they were in the bunker’s kitchen talking over their mugs of coffee at three am; already the very place closest to home that Dean would ever get.  

“Where did that come from, huh?” Dean muttered after a long, heavy silence, feeling scared but hopeful as blue eyes watched him carefully.

Cas cleared his throat, eyes dropping to the table. “Sam explained it to me the other day, what it means when  _you_  say that… Then it occurred to me that I never once said it back. I figured now’s as good a time as any, unless you prefer for me to say it some other time when we’re in a life-threatening situation…”

Dean panicked a little, feeling somewhat exposed at the implication behind the statement. Cas now knew what it meant… Knew that it was Dean’s version of those other three words that he couldn’t quite bring himself to say to anyone.  _Dammit, Sammy_.

But when Cas blinked up at him again, his hand reaching for Dean’s and their fingers touching on top of the table, it was no longer all that scary. After all, this was  _Cas_ , and shit, Cas had said it first this time.

And Dean? Dean wasn’t going to make both the angel and himself wait for another five years. He smiled timidly, his hand tightening around Cas’, suddenly craving the connection. He hoped that Cas would never let go.

“I need you  _too_ , Cas.”


	91. Day 91

“Trick or treat!”

A deep voice said those familiar words the second Castiel opened the front door for the umpteenth time that night, expecting yet another group of kids in costumes. Castiel’s jaw dropped acutely, and he may or may not have been drooling at the sight with which he was presented. This was not at all what he had anticipated. Standing before him, intently looking at him with a pair of breathtakingly-beautiful green eyes and smiling smugly, was  _Dean Winchester._

Two important facts about Dean Winchester: One; Castiel had the biggest possible crush on the guy, who went to the same school as Castiel. Two; Dean was the most popular student at Lawrence High, therefore Castiel had never even dared to say as much as ‘ _hello_ ’ to him.

“I-I have…” Castiel sputtered helplessly, his trembling hands holding up the bowl with various kinds of candy that his mom had prepared for him to hand out.

Dean smiled a smile that was positively stunning as his eyes flickered down to the bowl.

Castiel watched Dean’s every move, noting how the boy was biting his plump lower lip while deciding which candy he was going to take. God, what Castiel would give to be allowed to  _kiss_  those lips. To  _touch_  that freckled face. To run his hand through that sand-colored hair and-

“I know what you are  _thinking_.” Dean’s voice made Castiel snap out of his thoughts, his heart stuttering.

“You-you do?” Castiel squeaked out, mortified, seeing as his thoughts hadn’t exactly been innocent.

Dean nodded confidently as he picked out a candy bar. “Yeah, you’re thinking that I’m way too old for this. I know.”

Castiel could breathe again, relieved that Dean hadn’t been able to read his  _actual_ thoughts. But although Castiel had been too busy fantasizing about Dean to even consider why a sixteen year old guy would still play this game, he had to admit that he was curious now.

“Well yes… You do seem a bit old for trick or treating.” Castiel said matter-of-factly, slowly calming down a little in the presence of his crush.

Dean grinned, slipping the candy bar into the bag that he was carrying with him. “I’m doing this for my little brother Sammy. He’s sick with the flu and he’s not allowed to go out, but he loves Halloween so I figured that if he has to miss it, the least I can do is make sure the kid has some candy when he gets better.”

This was the absolute  _worst_. Not only was Dean beautiful and popular, he apparently also was a caring brother and a  _saint_.

Castiel attempted to smile without looking like a complete maniac. “That’s very kind of you, Dean.”

Dean lifted an eyebrow, and Castiel realized the error he’d made. He had said Dean’s _name_.

“I’m sorry… It’s just that we go to the same school, and it  _is_  a small town. And most people know your name…” Castiel rambled defensively, his fingers nervously clinging to the bowl of candy that he was still holding.

But Dean only smirked, holding up a hand to silence Castiel. “It’s cool,  _Cas_. No worries.”

Castiel choked on a breath when Dean so casually used a shortened version of his name, and the bowl nearly slipped from his hands.

“You- you know  _my_  name?” He asked, shocked.

“Sure do, you’re kind of an eye-catcher, in case you didn’t know. I can appreciate a pretty boy when I see one.” Dean replied nonchalantly, effectively sending Castiel’s heart into overdrive.

Castiel was sure that his mouth was hanging open by now, but he couldn’t do anything but stare at Dean, completely dumbfounded.

“Well, I should get moving, still a lot of houses to go.” Dean announced with a wink. “Thanks for the candy, Cas.”

And with that Dean turned around and darted down the porch steps.

“You’re welcome!” Castiel called after him in an unsteady voice.

With a sharp intake of breath, Castiel closed the door and put down the bowl of candy. His heart was still racing, and his mind was trying to digest whatever the hell it was that had happened just now between him and Dean.

He didn’t get a lot of time to recover though, for the doorbell started ringing again.

Castiel groaned, but dutifully turned the doorknob and plastered on a smile. He gasped when it was Dean Winchester who was standing at his door for the second time that evening.

“Dean? What do you-” Castiel began.

“I forgot something.” Dean interrupted him, then stepped closer to Castiel so that they were almost standing chest to chest.

In fact, Dean was so close that Castiel could detect the faint scent of cinnamon and mint. When Dean lightly put a hand on Castiel’s hip, Castiel feared that he was going to pass out.

“Happy Halloween, Cas.” Dean said before smoothly dipping his head and kissing Castiel right on the lips.

Castiel wondered what he had done to deserve all of his dreams coming true, but he decided not to break his head over it. Instead he savored the moment, hungrily kissing Dean back and chasing the sweet taste of the boy’s perfect lips.

When they broke apart, Castiel blinked owlishly at Dean, unsure what to say.

Dean, on the other hand, never seemed to have a problem with bluntly voicing his thoughts. “Please tell me that this was impressive enough to score me a date with you, or I will be heartbroken.”

Castiel was still somewhat baffled, but he eagerly accepted that offer. He had never been a big fan of Halloween, but today he was extremely happy that this particular holiday existed. 


	92. Day 92

“Wait!” Dean blurted out as two of Castiel’s fingers came to rest against his bruised forehead.

The angel was about to heal a nasty cut on Dean’s temple, as well as the black eye that was the result of a hunt gone not all that smoothly.

Castiel frowned, confused, but dropped his hand, cautiously observing Dean. They were both sitting on the edge of Dean’s bed, Dean looking rather tired even though his eyes were still alive and curious.

“Is something wrong?” Castiel asked, unsure of what was going on inside of Dean’s head ever since he’d vowed to not read Dean’s thoughts unless absolutely necessary.

“Not wrong… It’s just that I know for a fact that you don’t have to do that. Touch me, I mean.” Dean accused, green eyes intently staring at Castiel. “I saw it, with Gadreel. Angels don’t have to touch to heal, do they?”

Dean Winchester had always been perceptive, and so Castiel knew that denying was out of the question.

“We all have our methods, Dean.” He replied evasively.

“Oh… So that means you can heal whatever way you like, huh?”

Dean’s question was a mere mumble, yet that mumble seemed ridiculously loud in the otherwise silent bunker.

“I suppose so.” Castiel admitted, defeated at the thought of Dean rejecting his touch. “If you don’t want me touching you in any way, there are less intimate ways in which I can heal you.”

At that suggestion, Dean appeared to be truly offended, plump lips pressed together in a disapproving line. Not much later, a warm hand was placed on Castiel’s thigh.

“In case you haven’t noticed, the last thing I need is  _less_ intimate, Cas.”

Before Castiel could look into that answer, Dean was already leaning closer and closer, until their lips were almost touching, their breaths mixing between them. Castiel forgot all about their conversation, about the purpose here -healing Dean-, and about everything else for that matter. He went in for that kiss that Dean clearly wanted as much as Castiel wanted it, and then their lips were moving together, hands cupping each other’s faces.

When they pulled back after a while, the first thing Castiel wanted to do was to apologize for getting distracted and abandoning the task at hand. Until he noticed, to his astonishment, that everything was gone; the deep cut on Dean’s temple, the bruises on his freckled forehead, the blood on his chin.

And then there was Dean, good as new, grinning widely at him. 

“Nice work, Cas. And hey, for future reference… I personally prefer  _this_  method.”


	93. Day 93

Eventually,  _everything_  dies. That’s all Castiel has ever learned in his long existence.

Humans die, flowers die… Puppies grow older and turn into big dogs, and eventually, they’ll die too. Often, hope dies as well, as does faith.

Even angels die, sometimes. Castiel has witnessed it, has even experienced it himself, although he’d been lucky; some higher force had resurrected him more than once.

And yet there is one thing that Castiel knows will last forever.

As he watches Dean Winchester, currently sleeping in his arms, all human, and strong yet so fragile, the ghost of a smile on his freckled face, Castiel knows that at least some things are eternal.

Because even if Castiel lives to see another eternity, his love for this one human will  _never_ die.


	94. Day 94

“What  _the hell_?” Dean disapprovingly clicked his tongue as he entered his bedroom, narrowing his eyes at the mess.

Clothes were scattered across the floor, the memory foam bed was completely covered in books taken from the bunker’s library, and a half empty bowl of chips was left on one of the nightstands.

One week. Seven days since Cas had moved in there, and  _this_  was the result.

It had been Dean’s idea, them sharing his room. After all, that’s what people did when they were  _together_. What he hadn’t been prepared for, was this; the fallen angel turning said room into a permanent disaster area. If there was one thing that Dean Winchester despised, it was untidiness.

“This has gotta stop.” Dean grumbled to himself as he picked one of Cas’ shirts up from the floor and glared at it.  

Oh yeah, he was going to find Cas and give him a piece of his mind. That angel needed to learn that he couldn’t get away with  _everything_  just because Dean happened to be head over heels for him. 

He tossed the shirt across the room, determined to drag Castiel down there and to force him to clean up his mess.

Dean had barely finished that thought when he was suddenly hugged from behind, two arms surrounding him, pulling Dean back against a solid chest. Speak of the devil… As Dean tried to utter a protest, a small kiss was pressed to the nape of his neck.

“Hello, Dean.” The angel-of-messiness greeted Dean while nuzzling Dean’s ear, effectively turning Dean into a puddle of goo within less than two seconds.

Taking a deep breath, Dean wiggled in Castiel’s arms. He turned to face Cas, with every intention of telling him off.

But then they were nose to nose, and Dean was dazzled by a sincere gummy smile and blue eyes so full of love and adoration that it made Dean’s heart stutter.

“I apologize if you were busy, but I have a sudden need to make love to you. Would you be opposed to that?” Cas bluntly stated his business without shame, blinking up at him with a look that was all too innocent. “I want you, Dean.” He added in a low voice before going in for a long, deep kiss.

Dean hungrily whimpered against Cas’ mouth as clever fingers found their way into Dean’s hair.

_Dammit._

One hour later, their shared room was still a mess. The only difference was that the books had joined the clothes on the floor. Admitting defeat, Dean allowed himself to doze off in his angel’s arms, exhausted yet satisfied. He was definitely still going to tell Cas off.  _Tomorrow._


	95. Day 95

Castiel brushes butterfly kisses against Dean’s nose, then moves on to Dean’s cheeks, his forehead… Even his chin. They’re supposed to watch the movie that’s playing on the old TV in their shared motel room, but seeing as they’re cuddled up on a bed together, Cas is obviously distracted by other thoughts.

Another kiss against the tip of Dean’s nose, and Dean most definitely does  _not_  giggle. Dean Winchester doesn’t giggle  _ever_ , thank you very much. Nonetheless, he closes his eyes and lets himself simply  _feel_ everything that Cas offers him.

“Dean?” Cas suddenly speaks his name like it’s something precious, then presses more kisses to Dean’s closed eyelids. “Are you familiar with that saying… Freckles are angel kisses?”

Dean’s eyes fly open at that.

Yeah, he’s heard of it alright. Even worse; Sam has been teasing him about it ever since Dean and Cas had gotten together, because Dean happens to have some freckles. Very funny, Sammy…

_Wait a second._

“Wait _, that’s_ what you’re doing? You mean that it’s an actual thing?” Dean accuses, shocked, glaring up at the angel who’s now watching him with amused blue eyes. “Is this why you always make sure to get every freaking spot on my face?”

Castiel laughs quietly, clearly unimpressed by Dean’s futile attempt at playing the angry boyfriend.  

“No, it’s merely a myth.” The angel says smugly with another chaste kiss to Dean’s temple, making something warm and pleasant stir in Dean’s belly. “But it  _is_ my favorite excuse to kiss you.”


	96. Day 96

Dean softly hums a tune as he browses the morning paper, looking for potential cases. When Cas hands him a mug of coffee, Dean mumbles a warm ‘thank you’, but otherwise doesn’t look up.   
  
Cas briefly squeezes his shoulders -in that way that makes Dean’s heart flutter- then announces that he’s going to take a shower. Before leaving, Cas makes sure to give Dean a short yet meaningful hug from behind. Absentmindedly, Dean reaches back to ruffle Cas’ hair, eyes still fixed on the paper.   
  
As soon as the former angel leaves the kitchen, Dean can feel his brother’s eyes on him, burning a hole in his forehead.  
  
“What, Sammy?” He asks gruffly, glancing up to raise an eyebrow at Sam.   
  
Sam shrugs from across the table where he’s eating his cereal. “Nothing, just thinking… That thing that you and Cas have, I want to have that someday, with someone.”

“What?!” Dean sputters, coughing up some of his coffee. “Dude, Cas and I are not… we’re not  _together_.”

“Dean…” Sam pauses and sighs, looking exasperated. “I’ve never seen two people more ‘together’ than you and Cas. If you don’t wanna label it, fine, but you two have been acting like a married coupleever since Cas moved into the bunker.”

Dean wants to protest, wants to throw in a very mature ‘are not!’, but is distracted when Cas darts back into the room, only to snatch a piece of toast from Dean’s plate.

“Hungry”, Cas mumbles, as if that explains everything.

He lightly kisses the top of Dean’s head before he slips out of the room again, and crap, the look on Sam’s face is the smuggest that Dean has ever seen his younger brother.

So maybe Sam is a little bit right. Not that Dean would ever admit that.

“Not a word.” He warns, pointing a finger at Sam.

Sam turns back to his breakfast without making a sound. Dean groans when he sees his brother silently mouthing the word  _‘together’_.


	97. Day 97

“Right… So I’ll see you tomorrow then, Cas.”

Dean cracks a smile as he mutters his goodbye, even though he knows that the angel can’t see it; after all this is not one of those modern-ass video phone calls, just a regular one.  

 _“Yes, tomorrow.”_ Cas sounds tired, but refreshingly hopeful.

“Tomorrow.” Dean repeats quietly, loving the way it sounds.

Tomorrow is good, tomorrow is soon. Tomorrow is less than twenty-four hours away. Survivable.

 _“Tomorrow.”_ Cas parrots that single word one more time, but still doesn’t end the call.

“Yeah… So are you gonna hang up?” Dean abruptly voices that thought.

 _“I’m not sure, are you?”_ Cas’ reply comes without a hint of hesitation.

Dean chuckles. At the other end of the line, Cas huffs impatiently at him.

_“What’s so funny, Dean?”_

Seeing as this is his best friend, Dean spills his guts.

“Nothing… Just can’t believe we’re having one of those you-hang-up-first moments. Hate to break it to you, but we sound like a bunch of fourteen year olds with crushes.”

There’s a silence from Cas, but it doesn’t last long.

_“I suppose we do… The only difference for me is that I’m not fourteen, Dean.”_

Dean clears his throat as he presses the palm of his hand against his forehead, all of the sudden even more eager to get to Cas.

“Yeah…” He eventually breathes into the phone. “Same here.”

Dean doesn’t hang up first. Instead he falls asleep on top of the ugly sheets of his not-quite-comfortable motel bed, his phone crushed between his cheek and the pillow. He dreams about tomorrow. 


	98. Day 98

“Good to meet you, Mrs. Rosenburg. You were right to call us about your little ghost problem, we’ll get the job done in no time.” Dean says as he shakes the elderly lady’s hand. “I’m Dean Winchester, and this is Castiel,  _he’s my…_ ”

A pause from Dean. Castiel has gotten used to that; these pauses as Dean tries to figure out how to introduce him. It’s easy when they’re undercover, pretending to be FBI agents, using fake identities. This however, always seems harder for Dean. Dean doesn’t like those kind of labels, and Castiel respects that as long as he gets to have Dean. Which is why after a pause like that, Dean always ends up saying “he’s my friend” or “he’s my colleague”. 

There’s a silence as the three of them stand on Mrs. Rosenburg’s front porch, unmoving.

Castiel patiently waits to see which term Dean will use this time. Mrs. Rosenburg waits with him, looking from Dean to Castiel, raising an eyebrow because Dean still hasn’t finished his sentence.

Dean tentatively turns his head, his eyes finding Castiel’s. Castiel smiles at him to encourage him like he always does, trying to communicate that it’s alright; it doesn’t matter, Castiel understands.

And then Dean is smiling. His lips don’t do as much as twitch, but Castiel can still see it. He’s smiling with his eyes, the green lighting up as if he’s seeing Castiel for the first time.

Castiel feels how a strong hand suddenly rests against his lower back when Dean finally finishes his sentence.

“He’s  _mine._ ”

With two simple words, Castiel falls in love all over again.


	99. Day 99

Dean’s sudden confession takes place on a cold December morning. Not that the cold can touch them here, Castiel knows that. He’s safe where he is, in Dean’s bed. Or, more importantly, in Dean’s _arms_.

“I’m so sorry, Cas… For what I did.”

It’s a murmur against Castiel’s forehead, but even though he’s human now, Castiel has trouble grasping Dean’s apology. Dean has nothing to be sorry for, after all. All Castiel knows is that he’s  _happy_ , happier than he’s ever been in his existence. These past three weeks have been everything that Castiel could have wished for, possibly even more. Why would Dean feel sorry?

But Dean Winchester isn’t always an open book, that much Castiel does understand, and so he opts to investigate.

“What is it you’re sorry for, Dean?” He asks gently, fingertips reverently tracing patterns across Dean’s bare shoulder.

Green eyes blink down at Castiel, and Dean’s bottom lip trembles.

“Making you like this… Making you  _human_.” He whispers, his voice thick with both sleep and something that sounds like regret. “You’re an angel… I made you  _fall.”_

Castiel understands, but at the same time doesn’t understand at all. By now he’s able to make sense of Dean’s mind, yet he doesn’t always agree with Dean’s thoughts.

Today however, he doesn’t want to pick Dean’s brain. All he wants to do is to comfort the man who’s showed him that the only point in existing is to live, and feel, and love.

“I don’t care that you made me fall, Dean.” Castiel speaks softly, truthfully, his lips caressing Dean’s collarbone as he talks. “All that matters is that you were also there to  _catch me_.”


	100. Day 100

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day 100! For the final day, I'll post a longer story for you guys! :) Thank you all so much for the many comments, kudos, and the lovely support! You guys rock and are all amazing! Also, if you're looking for more fluffy stuff or want to come say hi, you can always visit me at destieldrabblesdaily.tumblr.com

“Hell yeah, looks like my angel’s back!” Dean blurted out when the bunker came into sight, a worn out Lincoln Continental parked in front of it.

Sam shot him a baffled look from the passenger seat.

At his brother’s reaction, Dean sobered up as his brain caught up with his actions. Once he realized his error, he immediately snapped his mouth shut, his grin rapidly fading. He parked the Impala next to Cas’ car without another word, now fully aware that he’d said that out loud. Shit. He sure as hell hadn’t meant to…

Alright so, maybe he’d been  _thinking_  it; this was pretty much Dean’s default train of thought whenever Castiel was so much as mentioned. Still, it was definitely not something that he cared to acknowledge out loud. In front of his brother. Who was still looking at him funny, mind you.

“What are you staring at? Nothing to see here, Sammy.” He gruffly dismissed his brother before hastily getting out of the car.

He saw Sam’s shrug from the corner of his eye, but didn’t look back, eager to go inside and see his best friend despite whatever awkward shit had happened less than a minute ago.

Dean spotted the angel as soon as he stepped in the room, sitting at one of the tables, a laptop and several books keeping him occupied. When Dean walked down the stairs, the sound made Cas look up, blue eyes finding Dean’s, a smile spreading across Castiel’s face. It was  _the_  smile. That smile that Dean loved. The smile that Castiel seemed to reserve for Dean, and Dean alone.

“Hello, Dean.” Castiel greeted him, pushing aside the book that he’d been studying.

“Hey, buddy.” Dean replied as he came to a stop at the table, casually sitting down on the edge of it.

Buddy. Perfectly acceptable. Casual, cool, collected. Dean Winchester was nothing if not suave.

It earned him another one of those magical smiles from Cas. “Is everything alright? Did you and Sam manage to defeat that witch that you texted me about?”

“We did… She turned out to be no big deal, mostly smoke and mirrors I guess. Tried to work some weird voodoo on me, but as you can see it didn’t do much. Sammy stabbed her with a knife and she went poof, I’m fit as a fiddle.” Dean supplied, smiling down at Cas, giving a quick summary of their latest hunt. “Kinda missed you though… And your smile, I missed that smile. It’s my favorite smile in the world, hands down.”

Cas’ eyes turned comically wide at the admission that spilled out of Dean’s mouth without permission, and at the same time there was a choking noise from Sam, now right behind them. As hard as Sam tried to cover it up with a cough, it was a wasted effort.

Dean was mortified, his skin burning from the back of his neck to the tips of his ears. Holy shit. What was going on? He certainly hadn’t planned to say  _that_. He covered his mouth with both his hands, staring at Cas, then Sam, and back to Cas.

“If you guys need a minute alone…” Sam began cautiously.

“No!” Dean exclaimed, horrified at that suggestion.

Cas flinched at the volume, as did Sam.

Well wasn’t that just _awesome._  Clearly that witch  _did_ have some tricks up her sleeve after all.

~

“What we’re facing here looks to be a truth spell.” Castiel announced.

Dean and Sam were reading along over the angel’s shoulder, Dean being the one who stiffly kept his mouth shut at all costs.

Cas was squinting at the screen of his laptop, tilting his head in that signature way of his that wasn’t adorable by any means. Not adorable at all, no sir.

“Adorable.” Dean muttered under his breath, even though he’d been biting his tongue for a while now.

Thankfully, both Cas and Sam chivalrously pretended not to hear him.

“The common witch uses the truth spell on her attackers to allow her to predict her enemy, as well as aforementioned enemy’s moves seeing as they will not only speak their minds at random, but will also not be able to lie when asked a direct question.” Sam read out loud.

“That makes sense…” Cas mused, absently tapping his fingers against the table. “Fortunately, she didn’t live long enough to use it to her advantage.”

Dean sighed, rolling his eyes. “Sure, but  _unfortunately_ , I’m stuck with this thing nonetheless, and if I’m gonna spill all my secrets to you two, maybe I rather would’ve died.”

He wasn’t sure if he’d even meant to say that out loud or not. There was a heavy silence, and Dean imagined the sound of crickets in the background, some tumbleweeds rolling by.

“I ehm… I think there are some files on spells and curses in the bunker’s archive, I’ll go check that out while you guys look if there’s anything useful online.” Sam mumbled before quickly making his escape.

“Coward!” Dean called after his brother, again not sure if it was him talking, or that nasty spell.

Cas was looking up at him, wide-eyed, unspeaking. It was just the two of them now. Dean knew that he had to leave the room for his own good, unless he wanted to die from sheer embarrassment.

He had no clue why he did the exact opposite, falling down into the chair beside Castiel. The only upside was that Cas didn’t freak out on him, instead putting a comforting hand on Dean’s shoulder. God, he loved when Cas did that. Loved when Cas touched him there, connecting them. Even if it was a simple, innocent touch, to the two of them it meant just a little bit more. Dean leaned into it without thinking.

“I love when you touch me. I wish you’d touch me all the time… Wish I could touch you as well, whenever I feel like it.” Dean slapped his hand over his mouth as soon as the string of words fell from his traitorous lips.

To Dean’s shock, Castiel didn’t pull back. Graceful fingers gently massaged Dean’s shoulder, soothing him. Cas didn’t say anything. Didn’t force Dean to elaborate, didn’t try to hold him to his words. Their gazes remained locked, and Dean felt another wave of word vomit threatening to spill out.

“If you want me to leave, I can go and wait it out.” Castiel offered, squeezing Dean’s shoulder one last time before dropping his hand.

Dean frantically shook his head, already feeling absurdly cold and lost without Cas’ touch. He was sure that it was him this time, not the spell.

“Don’t go, Cas. I don’t like when you go, ever. If it were up to me man, you’d stay here forever. With me and Sam… I need you with me,  _always_.”

That was definitely the spell. Not the feelings; those were all Dean’s. But the fact that he’d said it out loud.

Blue eyes, calm and understanding, were observing him. A heartbeat later, two strong hands were cupping Dean’s face, calloused thumbs tenderly stroking Dean’s cheeks

“No matter what happens after this is fixed, there’s one thing you have to remember…” Cas whispered, his face closer to Dean’s than it had ever been before, even during their previous staring contests. “I love you, Dean Winchester. You shouldn’t be afraid of that, and I will never leave you by choice.”

Dean tried to hold back his tears. Cas was doing the same; it didn’t take an expert to tell, considering that the angel’s bottom lip was trembling.

Sam was the one ending the moment, barging into the room, holding up a stack of papers.

“Hey guys? I think I found a way to reverse this…”

~

“I love you, Cas… Love you so much it hurts sometimes.” Dean panted the words against Cas’ throat, covering the angel’s skin in wet, open-mouthed kisses. “I need you, so much it terrifies me.”

Castiel’s hands cradled the back of Dean’s neck, guiding him up into a real kiss, lips colliding and hands roaming as they made out on Dean’s bed. Cas whispered the words back into Dean’s mouth, a promise of love that would last beyond mortality.

They’d gotten rid of the curse hours ago. This time, all of Dean’s confessions were his own. Sometimes, a curse could be a gift. 

**Author's Note:**

> For more Destiel stories, go to destieldrabblesdaily.tumblr.com


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